Teen doesn't go out and non of his friends want to go out either

[oldrosie]

My son and his friends rarely meet up or do anything out side of school.

Is this normal? What the hell is going on with our kids? They don't want to go out and socialise and be teenagers. I find it very very worrying that they don't want to interact and be out. I kind of force DS to message his mates and see if they want to go to town or hang out and none of them ever do. It's so so sad.Social media and games consoles are obviously to blame but we are human beings and we need to be around one another.

What is everyone elses thoughts?

In light of all the news of ganag violence and teens being knifed I can't say I blame youngsters for not wanting to go out

@Georgeskitchen

In light of all the news of ganag violence and teens being knifed I can't say I blame youngsters for not wanting to go out

I really hope you aren't giving your teens the impression that gang violence and getting knifed is a regular or likely risk they will face?!

My dd was same better now she's over 18 as they go drinking. Social media means contact is constant so they don't feel the need to meet up. But it's such a lazy form of communication! Think lock down has exasperated this.

My son and my partner's sons are the same. Things are very different to when I was growing up in the 80s, and even more so when my paretns were growing up in the 60's. At least with games, they are playing with their friends. My son (9) plays online with friends all the time; he's up there laughing, singing, chatting for hours. As long as there is no bullying/arguing/crying then I don't see the harm. If any of that goes on (and I make sure I monitor it) then it gets turned off, but I've only had to do that once in the last couple of years.

They do meet up with friends occasionally for a birthday party or something. Remember also that they are socialising with friends all week at school so they're not exactly cut off from human contact. I'd only worry if they didn't know how to behave/socialise when they were at school or out somewhere.

Also remember that lots of 70's/80's/90's kids were just sat in front of the TV. I think that was far more damaging due to the lack of interactivity. I lived out in the sticks and hardly saw friends much in the holidays. I used to get bored and act up, drink booze, break things etc. I'm happy that my son is "virtually" chatting to friends rather than being bored

Some adults are horrible to unaccompanied groups of teens

Yes! My DS was playing football with his friends at the local football club - they weren't on the actual pitch, but they'd been told it was ok to play on some grass near it - when someone else came and told them off for playing there and then, when they didn't stop, drove his car at them, nearly hitting one of them!

He's been out less than once a week during the winter, but hopefully, once the nights get lighter, he'll be out more often. He spends all his time gaming with the same set of friends when he's home though, I love hearing him laughing away in his bedroom.

I think gaming is great in terms of the laughter/ interaction - its a bit like how we were always chatting on the landlines.

But we have to accept the sad reality that it is absolutely not as good for children/ teenagers as being outdoors running/ jumping/ climbing trees - which is what kids would have been doing for much of their time before screens were invented. Their bodies were made by evolution to climb stuff, jump and run - they definitely aren't doing much of that at school so if they come home and are sedentary all evening I think we have to be realistic it's not great for their health