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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Do you think this monthly allowance is reasonable?

114 replies

bendmeoverbackwards · 08/10/2021 18:02

Dd (14.5) gets £50/month. This includes going out, non essential clothes and friends’ presents.

We pay for anything to do with school, essential items such as underwear and pyjamas, big items such as coats and we pay for her phone.

Dd is moaning. She loves clothes but I’ve pointed out she needs to learn to budget and leave some money for the end of the month.

Just trying to work out if the amount is reasonable.

OP posts:
ReeseWitherfork · 08/10/2021 18:03

Yes I'd say so! If only moaning was the answer to more money 😅

DrWankincense · 08/10/2021 18:03

I give mine £20 and she has chores to do for that.
We pay her phone and essentials.

FreezerBird · 08/10/2021 18:05

We give DS (16) the same, and he's expected to do a few chores and be generally helpful around the house for this.

He never spends any of it and has just realised how much he's got in his account so he's planning some photography equipment purchases.

Passthecake30 · 08/10/2021 18:09

Does she go out much? If my dc wanted to go to the cinema here it would cost about £9, then there’s McDonald’s after/snacks on the top.
My parents didn’t give me adequate pocket money and I really resented it as I couldn’t socialise at all. My 2 are younger and don’t go out atm, but I think I’d cost out what activities/clothes seem reasonable over the course of a month and go with that, or suggest they do chores to earn more.

TrainforSpeed · 08/10/2021 18:12

I got £60 pm when I was I sixth form in 1986, but I did have to get absolutely all clothes, toiletries except basic soap and shampoo that was in the bathroom anyway and entertainment with it.

We gave DS1 £50pm to cover going out and treat clothes. He barely spent any of it. DS2 who is much more spendy started an apprentcesgip at 16 so never had an allowance. Phew.

Before sixth form age I just gave them spending money when they needed it and they had generous birthday money from GPs to spend.

TrainforSpeed · 08/10/2021 18:13

The reason for the adhoc spending money was that I wanted them to have cash when they needed it to go out but not necessarily for spending on tatt DS2

crazycrofter · 08/10/2021 18:14

We give 17 year old dd £60 a month plus £40 for school lunches (which she sometimes saves by taking food). Until sixth form she only had £40 though so I think your £50 is enough.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 08/10/2021 18:19

What's reasonable is what you can afford. 50 per month plus all essentials doesn't seem overly stingy to me. She can choose to save, she can see if she can earn extra money doing chores or something. I'm not sure how she'd get on with a job but I know a few kids her age who do a few hours a week, it all helps. Do teens babysit these days? I started when I was about 13 but that was a long loooong time ago and I have no idea how today's parents of young children feel about young teen babysitters.

God I feel old now 🤣

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 08/10/2021 18:20

If she struggles to budget suggest you give her 30 a month and set 20 aside. She has to start to learn about saving somewhere

MadameKali · 08/10/2021 18:21

We give DD £75/month but she works in a charity shop on Saturday mornings for it. If she gets a paid job the amount will reduce.
We still pay for essentials (underwear, pyjamas, shampoo etc) but everything else is on her.

AlexaShutUp · 08/10/2021 18:23

Mine got more than that at that age, but ultimately, it comes down to what you can afford and what you feel is reasonable. It sounds fine to me.

SellFridges · 08/10/2021 18:23

When I was on sixth form college my Mum used to give me my Child Benefit. I’m not sure what that equates to nowadays, but that still feels about right to me. She bought me a bus pass, I got free dinners, and worked as well.

LemonWeb · 08/10/2021 18:27

Confused mine get a tenner each and can earn a bit more with chores. I buy clothes generally

RedskyThisNight · 08/10/2021 18:27

It depends a bit on the circles she mix with. That would be plenty for my DC, but their friends have similar money to them so they adjust their socialising plans accordingly. If as PasstheCake suggests she is doing activities such as cinema+food on a regular basis, then it won't go so far and it will be tough for her to have to choose between socialising and buying clothes.

Original poster
bendmeoverbackwards · 08/10/2021 18:27

@Passthecake30 she doesn’t go out that much. She tends to socialise at friends’ houses or they come here. She does a lot of dance classes which we obviously pay for. And forgot to add I buy her various hair products (she does the curly girl method).

OP posts:
traumatisednoodle · 08/10/2021 18:29

I think the EMA is a useful guide £30 per week. So that's what the government thinks is reasonable.

traumatisednoodle · 08/10/2021 18:30

I suppose it depends how much travel etc he needs to do. DD (nearly 15) gets £20 p/w

Original poster
bendmeoverbackwards · 08/10/2021 18:32

It’s the clothes buying! She seems to think she NEEDS clothes and has to buy every month! Friends’ presents can be costly, she had to buy 2 recently, one for £15 and the other for £20 (close friend). But luckily no more birthday presents for a few months.

We could afford to give her a bit more but I want to teach her to budget and learn that you can’t buy everything you want, you have to prioritise.

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 08/10/2021 18:37

My DS who is 14 is equally obsessed with clothes but gets £5 a week and his £20 a month gym membership and £24 @ monthfootball subs paid for. He has to save up for what he wants, he doesnt buy his friends birthday presents which I think is a boy thing. I have shown him job adverts for paper Boys etc all of which he hasn't even bothered applying for so he has to settle for what he's got money wise. I dont pay for chores around the house, that's just part of being a member of a family.

Esspee · 08/10/2021 18:43

At 14 I had a Saturday job. Is this not the norm these days?

HollowTalk · 08/10/2021 18:49

Would she be interested in a sewing machine and teaching herself to sew? A friend of mine bought one for her daughter and she makes all her clothes except jackets, coats and jeans.

Original poster
bendmeoverbackwards · 08/10/2021 18:55

@Esspee it’s very hard to get any sort of job under 16. When she’s a bit older she can pick up her sisters’ babysitting jobs (one has moved out, the other one is planning to soon).

OP posts:
Arubaa · 08/10/2021 19:11

We've never done an allowance but we do pay for phone etc and we would definitely pay for friends birthday presents ( that's £20-30 a time for maybe 5-6 good friends). But dd has had a paper round that pays £40 a week from when she was 13.

thetesdybears · 08/10/2021 19:13

I think it's quite low as just pocket money never mind buying clothes off it. I say this because back when I was 14 in the late 90's I got £10 per week. It was often topped up if I was going to the cinema etc mum wld give me extra for a mcds or pay for my train etc. I cld save up sometimes from it. Did buy my parents and friends bday and Xmas pressies from it.

My parents didn't have loads of money but they were always generous to us with what they had. My dh got about half what I did and his family earned probably double what mine did.

I assumed at least £20 per week was the going rate these days and phone on top. All depends what u can afford though.

thetesdybears · 08/10/2021 19:18

Oh and I'm a brilliant saver now and have always been fairly sensible with money since my teens. My mum used to talk to me about her bills, savings, budgeting and generally how to save etc.

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