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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Do you think this monthly allowance is reasonable?

114 replies

bendmeoverbackwards · 08/10/2021 18:02

Dd (14.5) gets £50/month. This includes going out, non essential clothes and friends’ presents.

We pay for anything to do with school, essential items such as underwear and pyjamas, big items such as coats and we pay for her phone.

Dd is moaning. She loves clothes but I’ve pointed out she needs to learn to budget and leave some money for the end of the month.

Just trying to work out if the amount is reasonable.

OP posts:
Rockbird · 10/10/2021 16:11

DD1, 13 gets £25 a month plus phone. She doesn't go out much and if she does it's meeting friends, buying sweets in Poundland and sitting in the park so she doesn't have expensive tastes! We pay for all essential clothes, shoes, dance and drama classes etc so she costs us a fortune every month Grin. My dad gives her extra money often though so she's not usually short of cash.

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 10/10/2021 16:11

We’ve just recently started giving dd (15.5) pocket money tk try and teach her the value of money as she’s constantly asking for clothing books (not school related) crystals, shoes. You name it she wants it and she wants it now.

As she’s the only child we get family alllowance:child benefit. Whatever it’s called these days. I decided to give her that each week. The first week she spent it in it’s entirety. This week she has spent £5. However we went out today and there was a stall selling crystals much cheaper than where we would normally buy them but she didn’t have her card on her. So I have lent her £10 but am yet to see it back.

It’s hard to judge how much we should give as each child has different circumstances. Such as social life, how much the parents can afford, their hobbies and interests.

We will still buy her clothing as she needs it but those extra Brandy Melville sprees or urban outfitters and even primark need to be saved for or birthday money spent on and not expect me to fund her hundreds a month.

Morgan12 · 10/10/2021 16:15

A 14 year old shouldn't be buying their own clothes imo.

LettertoHermoine · 10/10/2021 16:24

£12.50 a week is quite low imo especially if it has to do for clothes and buying pressies for her friends.

londonmummy1966 · 10/10/2021 16:37

At 14.5 she's only just starting to budget so I think it would be helpful if you left it at that amount but took on the irregular expense of friends presents as it would be quite tough if she had 3 in a month. Perhaps keep it at £50 which ought to be enough but say that you'll buy presents for friends perhaps up to a certain amount so say £10-15 and if she wants to get a more expensive present then she tops it up? I did similar with mine at that age which helped get them into basic budgeting before handing over a bigger allowance at 16 from which everything except phone and school uniform clothes needed to be paid for.

Original poster
bendmeoverbackwards · 10/10/2021 20:08

@Morgan12

A 14 year old shouldn't be buying their own clothes imo.
Why not? We are still buying them, just giving her a set amount to spend.
OP posts:
UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 10/10/2021 20:16

Morgan12 why on earth not, with an allowance from their parents?

Cruiser11 · 10/10/2021 20:22

Like you said OP it sounds a bit low, £60 sounds better or maybe £65 (£15 per week)?

HelloDulling · 10/10/2021 20:31

My DD gets £20 per week. I buy her wardrobe basics each season, she tops up with crap. She pays for drinks with friends, concert tickets, make-up etc. Had her nails done this summer.

I pay for haircuts, presents for friends, her phone, school stuff.

Hill1991 · 10/10/2021 20:32

I would encourage her to sell her unwanted clothes that she doesn't wear anymore as like if she buy a top she sells a top, she will never get what she's paid for it but could be up to 50% depending on the condition, especially if she's buying every month she's fast going to run out off room.

blushmint · 10/10/2021 20:32

I never used to get any pocket money at all.
Used to feel so embarrassed going out with a tenner and clothes my mum bought. Because she was buying, I couldn't have my own style. It has to be hers.

Tbh in 10 years time I'll be giving my teens around 200 a month and I'll be paying for their essentials. Maybe more.

Won't let them feel how I did.

£50 is quite low. Just over £10 a week. £2 or so a day? I don't know. But then again she's only 14. I think you should be paying for her clothes.

RagzReturnsRebooted · 10/10/2021 20:38

@LemonWeb

Confused mine get a tenner each and can earn a bit more with chores. I buy clothes generally
Same. I also pay for their phone sim plans. They can earn up to at least another £10 each by doing various chores. I pay bus fair if they need it but we're very rural and usually they get lifts. They don't really go out anywhere due to where we live, mostly just visit friends or walk up to the village shop. DD(11)spends most of hers online (Wish etc), DS1(15) sometimes goes into town with his boyfriend so they may get lunch or buy random stuff, DS2 (14) mostly spends his at the village shop on treats or the chip shop in town after cadets.

I can't afford to give them more, unfortunately, but they don't have to buy clothes which I did as a teenager (I got £10 a week but bought all my Toiletries and clothes).

Doodar · 10/10/2021 20:40

£12.50 a week isn't much for what you expect her to pay for.
DD, 16 gets £30 a week, she pays her football subs, £4 and any expenses when she goes out. We pay for everything else.

I feel the same as blushmint, had to pay for all toiletries and clothes from the age of 14 from a pitiful amount each week. Had to use toilet paper as san pro, my parents weren't short of cash either,

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/10/2021 20:42

She has more disposable income than I do! I’m 58 Grin

lookingforadvice21 · 10/10/2021 20:44

Who could live off £50 a month though... that's like 1 item or clothing a month and the entire allowance is gone? How could she afford to socialise with her friends lunch/coffee/cinema/dinner out and be expected to buy even 1 item of clothing with that...

Do people on Mumsnet live in the really world?

No adult could live off £50 a month disposable income... why would a teenager be any different from an adult?

lookingforadvice21 · 10/10/2021 20:48

@Hellocatshome

My DS who is 14 is equally obsessed with clothes but gets £5 a week and his £20 a month gym membership and £24 @ monthfootball subs paid for. He has to save up for what he wants, he doesnt buy his friends birthday presents which I think is a boy thing. I have shown him job adverts for paper Boys etc all of which he hasn't even bothered applying for so he has to settle for what he's got money wise. I dont pay for chores around the house, that's just part of being a member of a family.
£5 a week... how on earth is he expected to buy clothes? Mumsnet can't actually be for real? £5 a week and you couldn't even buy an item of clothing from a charity shop never mind trendy designer items that teenagers in the real world wear
Original poster
bendmeoverbackwards · 10/10/2021 20:50

@lookingforadvice21 depends how much they go out. As I said dd doesn’t go out much, she socialises at friends’ houses. Teens don’t need to spend £50 on one item!

OP posts:
Monolithique · 10/10/2021 20:56

To me this sounds reasonable and kind of similar to what ours got at that age. They also wanted money only as Christmas presents.

My DDs had a tenancy to like expensive brands , but with a budget in place soon realised they were happy with New Look and H and M.

lookingforadvice21 · 10/10/2021 20:58

[quote bendmeoverbackwards]@lookingforadvice21 depends how much they go out. As I said dd doesn’t go out much, she socialises at friends’ houses. Teens don’t need to spend £50 on one item![/quote]
A jumper from a high street store Abercrombie would be £50 though... Teenagers of similar ages where I live genuinely all go around wearing moncler, balenciaga, stone island, cp company at £500-£1000 an item.

I think £50 spending money for treats a month/pocket money is reasonable.

I think parents should be buying friends birthday gifts and buying their kids clothes. You say your daughter doesn't socialise much but I'd imagine they should come to you when they need money for cinema ect and then they get pocket money to spend on sweets or picking up something in town.

My 5 year old gets £10 pocket money a week to spend in town on a Sunday in Claire's accessories. I of course buy her clothes and friends birthday gifts and put for soft play/cinema ect. Her grandparents often give her an extra £5 that she will put in her banky for bigger toys she will save for.

£50 is ludicrous for a teenager to live off.

RagzReturnsRebooted · 10/10/2021 20:59

@lookingforadvice21

Who could live off £50 a month though... that's like 1 item or clothing a month and the entire allowance is gone? How could she afford to socialise with her friends lunch/coffee/cinema/dinner out and be expected to buy even 1 item of clothing with that...

Do people on Mumsnet live in the really world?

No adult could live off £50 a month disposable income... why would a teenager be any different from an adult?

Plenty of adults live on less than £50 a month disposable income. Remember the teens are fed, housed and have their phone/Internet paid for. For people on low incomes/surviving on UC allowance etc £50 is probably more than most of them have to spend on themselves!9 £50 is the amount I allocated to DH and I each in our monthly budget. For me that covers wine, make up, clothes I buy that I don't actually need (ie not basics/essentials), books or hobby stuff. Basically anything not essential. Surely that's what disposable income means. There's been plenty of times in my life I haven't had that much and even now some months I have to reduce that.

I think you may be the one not living in the real world, or at least a very different world to mine! £50 for one item of clothing? Unless it's a coat or pair of decent work shoes, I've never spent that on one item.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 10/10/2021 20:59

lookingforadvice21 teenagers do not typically buy £50 t shirts!

My DD shops on vinted a lot (as do I) and finds as-new brand name items for under £10 including postage often.

Teens don't typically "live on" their allowance - they've usually got all the basics available free (including sanpro obviously) and use their allowance for fancy toiletries they want but don't need, new clothing they want even though they've stopped growing and had everything they need before switching from parents paying to an allowance, transport in terms of to and from school usually paid for/ free and parental lifts still regular and obviously free, basic phone packages of some sort usually paid for. Free WiFi at home, obviously all meals and bills taken care of, birthday and Christmas presents for "big ticket items" they can't pay for from their allowance.

Many, many (probably most) adults don't buy themselves new clothing every month, especially not at £50 an item!

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 10/10/2021 21:02

lookingforadvice21 your 5 year old spends £10 per week in Clare's Accessories Shock how much plastic tat do you throw into landfill every month?

Auntycorruption · 10/10/2021 21:11

@traumatisednoodle

I think the EMA is a useful guide £30 per week. So that's what the government thinks is reasonable.
EMA was £30 in 1999!
RagzReturnsRebooted · 10/10/2021 21:22

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

lookingforadvice21 your 5 year old spends £10 per week in Clare's Accessories Shock how much plastic tat do you throw into landfill every month?
Exactly my thoughts when I read that! I'm hoping it was just an illustration and that they actually buy other stuff, not just Claire's tat (which I seek to recall from infrequent visits is actually really overpriced!).

Mine got £1 per month per year of age until they hit 11 then it was £10 plus phone plan.
I introduced the extra for chores (on top of the normal expected jobs they have to do anyway) as a way of increasing their pocket money while getting my housework done. (Evil laugh). This backfires when they CBA though!

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 10/10/2021 21:24

EMA was meant to pay for transport to college, lunch at college and books and study materials as well as clothes, to allow the poorest pupils to remain in education.

It was never a new clothes and socialising allowance!

Teens receiving an allowance usually have study materials, transport and school lunch in the form of school canteen prepayment or access to food at home to make packed lunches, all paid by parents, plus an allowance for "want but don't need" items. The EMA wouldn't cover most of what children who get an allowance have provided already, before their allowance leaves their bank account/ wallet!