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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

School exclusion

57 replies

Maisy6565 · 21/09/2021 19:20

My child was excluded permanently from school today for spitting. I know spitting is absolutely disgusting... Its appalling. But the kid he spat at punched him in retaliation. I don't blame him. But how can it be fair that my kid who spat gets expelled but the kid who punched him did not. My child has no previous record for bad behaviour.. Only historical problems with he same boy. I'm not defending spitting at all... But doesn't expulsion seem a bit extreme? I've also found out you can appeal but not even the omnibus can make the school reverse their decision even if the omnibus disagrees with the school!!

OP posts:
mineofuselessinformation · 21/09/2021 19:22

There has to be more to this story....

Oh9autumn · 21/09/2021 19:24

So he spat first and then said child punched him in return?
If your child hadn’t have spat then the punch wouldn’t have happened? Schools have a zero policy these days so not surprised he has been, grand scheme of things id concentrate on securing him a managed move rather than what has happened to who etc

Oh9autumn · 21/09/2021 19:25

Also I’d rather take a punch any day than be spat at. Spiting I can not tolerate, it’s the lowest of the low

Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 21/09/2021 19:27

He has done more probably. Spitting is disgusting and if he did it first unprovoked then he has serious issues which need to be addressed. By you.

BingBongToTheMoon · 21/09/2021 19:29

Aye right, there’s no way this is his first offence.
Plus there’s a pandemic and he’s spitting!? That’s revolting normally never mind considering the possibility of COVID, HIV, Hepatitis etc.
Good on the other boy retaliating.

Hellocatshome · 21/09/2021 19:30

Is this a permanent exclusion or a fixed term exclusion? If its permanent and a first offence I think it would be worth fighting.

Mombie2021 · 21/09/2021 19:32

Spitting is rank and I’d expect my child to be expelled for that.

MintJulia · 21/09/2021 19:33

I'd talk to the school. It seems unlikely that they would exclude someone for a first offence.

Mombie2021 · 21/09/2021 19:33

However permanent exclusions don’t just “happen”, there is a process to be followed and if your child has been permanently excluded then there will be a history and a massive drip feed here.

willieversleep · 21/09/2021 19:34

Due to the pandemic it is possible to be excluded for spitting at someone even once

nyktipolos · 21/09/2021 19:36

No previous then say only historical problems with this boy

Do you really think spitting on someone, especially, in a pandemic, is the same as punching someone who spat on you?

Kids don't go from perfectly well behaved to spitting on people.

Maisy6565 · 21/09/2021 19:39

OK just to reiterate I don't defend spitting.. Its disgusting. I never defended it. There's nothing more. His grades are good. No other problems apart from with this one kid... Its historical

I understand spitting is disgusting so please don't make out I'm defending him. But for this one issue... And it is just ttis one issue... Permanent exclusion seems very out of the blue.

Anyway thanks for th e comments

Really could do without any abusive comments tho

OP posts:
VippingQ · 21/09/2021 19:40

Has he spat at anyone in school before?

And previous behaviour warnings?

Mombie2021 · 21/09/2021 19:41

What do you mean, historical?

Daisy4569 · 21/09/2021 19:43

Totally agree with others. I’m sure policies will have been updated during the pandemic to reflect how serious spitting can be. I’d expect there to be some consequences for punching but tbf I wouldn’t expect someone to tolerate being spat at in normal times let alone with the current situation.

Suitcaseseverywhere · 21/09/2021 19:43

He spat.

That’s disgusting.

Punch self defence following assault (which is what spitting is)

He deserves it.

Suitcaseseverywhere · 21/09/2021 19:44

You’re not getting abusive comments?

hiredandsqueak · 21/09/2021 19:46

I did a spell as clerk to the governors of a large secondary, there was always a long backstory leading up to every permanent exclusion with children being given multiple chances to alter their behaviour. I'd imagine the history isn't so much history more an ongoing situation and the spitting was the final straw.

FrownedUpon · 21/09/2021 19:47

So he’s had issues with the other pupil before. Did these involve physical violence or verbal abuse?

Spitting is so disgusting, especially at the moment. I would be incredibly angry if someone spat at my child. No excuses.

Maisy6565 · 21/09/2021 19:49

It is his first offence.. Why do you think I'm bothering to ask if it wasn't? There's some really judgy comments... Lots of speculations. It is his first offense. He did something disgusting. I mist thought it was over the top. Clearly public opinion is otherwise and the majority say he deserves it. Thanks. I'll now attempt to delete this thread!

OP posts:
Doveyouknow · 21/09/2021 19:50

Spitting is disgusting but one incident doesn't warrant permanent exclusion. I am not sure why covid is relevant as it's airborne - so unless they are excluding kids for breathing as well the policy is hardly likely to prevent the spread of covid.

Blueskythinking123 · 21/09/2021 19:52

I think in normal times it may have been a fixed term exclusion. But due to covid, spitting will not be tolerated

RahRahRa · 21/09/2021 19:52

There must be more to this…maybe he’s constantly causing low-level disruption in classes or something so the school would just rather be rid of him and have been waiting for him to step out of line so they can remove him.

And this “historical” situation - could perhaps actually be bullying?

I’m glad the other boy punched your son, he totally deserved it and deserves the exclusion.

Getting good grades etc really has nothing to do with it if his behaviour is off.

LolaSmiles · 21/09/2021 19:53

Permanent exclusions don't appear out of the blue to a well-behaved and polite student.

There's usually a pattern of behaviour and associated paperwork to demonstrate that the school have tried their best to support the student, or there is a single incident that is serious enough for the school to question the safety of staff/students.

MadMadMadamMim · 21/09/2021 19:54

Well, people who have spat at police officers during the pandemic have received prison sentences, so this shows how spitting is seen as a serious assault.

Considering he would be looking at a custodial sentence if he was an adult and had done this out of school, then the school have every right to exclude.