My 17 year old daughter has tested positive for Covid and is refusing to self isloate

katgriff877 · 2021-08-28T14:01:44+00:00

My daughter has always been no trouble, good girl, works hard. Has just discovered going out and socialising with friends. She has just tested positive for covid but is refusing to self isolate. She said she has had it already (all LFD's come up negative but PCR is positive) although she has never had a positive test before. I have begged her to stay in and she has just walked out. I am beside myself and don't know how to deal with it.

GoodnightGrandma · 28/08/2021 15:03

She is responsible for herself. Hopefully T&T will catch up with her.

leafinthewind · 28/08/2021 15:05

HAS she had it already? If so, it could still be showing up on PCR even once she's well and out of isolation.

lannistunut · 28/08/2021 15:05

Oh dear. I honestly don't know what you do about that! Sorry for such a useless post but I felt sorry for you have to deal with this 2021 problem

Original poster

katgriff877 · 28/08/2021 15:07

She seems to think she has had it already. She has no symptoms but she stayed over at her cousins who then tested positive. But that is why she thinks the PCR is still showing positive - that she has had it previously and the test is still showing positive (although didn't tell me she might have had it and thus was not tested). It is just so irresponsible and I am so upset and disappointed in her

OP posts:

BeyondMyWits · 28/08/2021 15:09

It is no worse than all the folks round here coming in to our pharmacy for some cough medicine and saying no they won't take a test because "it's just a cough" and if they don't take a test they don't need to isolate... demographic in our area can't afford to not go to work.

Fattings · 28/08/2021 15:11

There's nothing you can do. I'd be livid as well and be wondering how I'd managed to raise someone so selfish. However she has a point and may still be testing positive from having it before - didn't you know she'd had it??

underneaththeash · 28/08/2021 15:11

You tell her that if she wants to live in your house she SI. No discussion. If she’s not mature enough to act responsibly, then she needs to be treated like a child.

Original poster

katgriff877 · 28/08/2021 15:14

No she has never tested positive. She walked out the house and I followed in the car and told her she had no choice but to get in the car - she point blank refused. I said I thought I had brought her up to do the right thing and respect me and other people. And she would not get in the car. I just do not know what to do.

OP posts:

UserFedUp · 28/08/2021 15:15

@BeyondMyWits

It is no worse than all the folks round here coming in to our pharmacy for some cough medicine and saying no they won't take a test because "it's just a cough" and if they don't take a test they don't need to isolate... demographic in our area can't afford to not go to work.

This is us

We don’t do the lateral flow tests , we can’t afford to have to isolate so we just don’t do them and go to work it’s the only way to survive and feed the dc
Double jabbed , be as sensible as possible with masks etc and get on with life

BeenThruMoreThanALilBit · 28/08/2021 15:30

Oh gosh OP, that’s so hard.

She’s acting like an irresponsible adult. So, you may have to treat her like one. Don’t know what that would look like for you, or for me for that matter. Sorry, not helpful.

Why won’t she SI? Do you know?

UserNameNameNameUser · 28/08/2021 15:34

Maybe you could approach it a different way? Instead of focusing all energy (understandably) on “she needs to SI right now”, could you broaden out the discussion with her? Focus on what is happening in her life that is making her behave this way.

Ugzbugz · 28/08/2021 15:35

@katgriff877

No she has never tested positive. She walked out the house and I followed in the car and told her she had no choice but to get in the car - she point blank refused. I said I thought I had brought her up to do the right thing and respect me and other people. And she would not get in the car. I just do not know what to do.

I'm confused, has she ever tested positive?

AnnaDyne · 28/08/2021 15:38

So she thinks she has had it within the last 90 days which is why the test is now positive?

Did she have symptoms previously?

I sympathise OP, 2 of my children have have it (at different times) and my 16 YO dd has blown up each time at the prospect of having to isolate. She was a nightmare. You can't force your dd to stay in unfortunately, but the test and trace people will be contacting her (or you?).

MichelleScarn · 28/08/2021 15:38

She's never tested positive but the test is showing positive from last positive tests?

ditalini · 28/08/2021 15:42

So she has a positive PCR test. She has no particular reason to think she's had it before (otherwise she wouldn't have taken the PCR test - why did she take one anyway?).

Has she done her friends the courtesy of telling them she's tested positive so they can make an informed choice about whether they want to socialise with her? Some of them made have things that they want to be well enough to attend in the next couple of weeks.

kj877 · 28/08/2021 16:29

She was staying at her cousins who tested positive. She did an LFD which came back negative but I still booked her in for a PCR to be on the safe side although she has no symptoms. The PCR came back positive. She is claiming she thinks she had it before (although has never before this positive test ever tested positive) and also has done another LFD test that is also negative so she thinks that she probably had it recently hence the positive PCR result but doesn't have it now. She has always listened to me and this is the first time she has ever disobeyed me but I feel so let down by her and that she cant see that she has to do the sensible thing and stay in. Her friends do know that she has tested positive and she was supposed to be going to Leeds Festival and I one point I thought she would just walk out and go but she has thankfully sold her ticket. I just don't know how to deal with it.

waterrat · 28/08/2021 22:53

Could you take a different approach and ask her to modify her behaviour if she won't stay home. So ask her to avoid being indoors with others or close to people?

Pcr tests do not pick up old infection .

If she is testing positive it means she has a high viral load and is infectious.

I sympathise with how hard this is for teens but could she be persuaded to at least avoid being in a position where she could pass it on

waterrat · 28/08/2021 22:54

Lft is less sensitive than a pcr that is why not picking up the virus.

fabulouslyglamorousferret · 28/08/2021 23:03

@waterrat

Could you take a different approach and ask her to modify her behaviour if she won't stay home. So ask her to avoid being indoors with others or close to people?

Pcr tests do not pick up old infection .

If she is testing positive it means she has a high viral load and is infectious.

I sympathise with how hard this is for teens but could she be persuaded to at least avoid being in a position where she could pass it on

PCR tests so pick up previous infection, up to 90 days after initial illness

ThreeFlowers · 28/08/2021 23:04

How selfish of her. Older adults who have been double jabbed are still getting quiet poorly with it. If she passes covid on to her friends, their parents may well get it. Plus, it’s not going to go down well at all if she’s knowingly infected them. If I were you, I’d tell her to come home or you’ll report her (to who I have no idea). She has tested positive, whether she thinks she’s had it or not is irrelevant.

fabulouslyglamorousferret · 28/08/2021 23:04

*do not 'so' ... that made me sound like an American teenager!

rosy71 · 28/08/2021 23:09

I'm sure test and trace told me it was my responsibilty to make sure my dses isolated. Perhaps telling her that might make an impression. Have test and trace been in touch yet? Perhaps getting them to speak to her would help too?

MarleneDietrichsSmile · 29/08/2021 07:12

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fabulouslyglamorousferret · 29/08/2021 07:15

@rosy71

I'm sure test and trace told me it was my responsibilty to make sure my dses isolated. Perhaps telling her that might make an impression. Have test and trace been in touch yet? Perhaps getting them to speak to her would help too?

Yes, t&t said that's to me too when my 17 year old had it

TheReluctantPhoenix · 29/08/2021 07:19

I think the main issue is her lack of respect for you.

I don’t think, at 17, you get to live in the family home, be supported, but don’t have to obey house rules.

All the normal sanctions apply, change Wi-fi password and take phone for a week or so. If she refuses to hand it over, terminate the contract.

Ultimately, if she goes to uni, you will have at least another 4 years of sharing a house with an adult dependent. She has to realise that all the additional rights of becoming an adult also confer adult responsibilities.