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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Found an empty box of dd's emergency contraceptive pill

67 replies

CovidCorvid · 18/06/2021 17:12

dd has just turned 20, so not a teen and yes she's an adult. But she's living at home, no boyfriend that I'm aware of and have found an empty box in her car when I went to move it for her. She's out and doesn't know I've found it.

I'm veering between thinking she's an adult and it's none of my business and thinking that if she ends up pregnant/having a baby it is my business! I really don't think I'd be prepared to have her living here with a baby...we don't have the space. I'm also concerned about STDs if she's having unprotected sex?

Do I say something? She refuses to go on the pill. She has really heavy periods and the dr put her on the pill when she was about 14yo and she says it made her feel sick and fat. So she won't take it anymore. I'm not bothered about her having sex but she needs to be taking more precautions! She will go crackers if I say anything.

OP posts:
Boomclaps · 18/06/2021 17:14

She’s using contraception- she’s being responsible
I wouldn’t worry

GCITC · 18/06/2021 17:14

I didn't think you could get emergency contraception by the box load.

HPmagic · 18/06/2021 17:14

If she bought emergency contraceptives then I think it's clear she is aware she made a mistake and does not want a child. I don't think you should say anything she is an adult.

moiraHT · 18/06/2021 17:15

@GCITC

I didn't think you could get emergency contraception by the box load.
Emergency conception does come in a box.
Palavah · 18/06/2021 17:16

She's an adult, it's none of your business, she has handled the situation.

You don't know what prompted her to take it, there's no reason to suppose she is being careless. I had to take it twice, both times there was an issue with the condom. I didn't just not bother. She may have had a similar situation.

Original poster
CovidCorvid · 18/06/2021 17:17

It's a box which had one tablet in.

She also had a termination last year which she told me about after.

OP posts:
GCITC · 18/06/2021 17:18

Maybe I have read more than was written.

BarryTheKestrel · 18/06/2021 17:19

For all you know, the condom split and therefore she's taken the initiative and sorted it rather than ignored it and hoped for the best. Just because she has used emergency contraception once that you know of does not mean that she is having unprotected sex of any kind.

Don't say anything. She has been a responsible adult. Treat her like one.

RodiganReed · 18/06/2021 17:21

You can't be serious?! This is absolutely none of your business!!! I would be furious is my mother thought she had any kind of say over my reproductive health at 20!! 16/ 17 would have been pushing it but 20?!

17june2021 · 18/06/2021 17:21

that if she ends up pregnant/having a baby it is my business!

If you found contraception that is fully used up, presumably she’s not going to get pregnant as she’s been taking it

I’m also concerned about STDs

Not to be crude, but why? It’s not your vagina after all. Presumably she was warned about the importance of barrier contraception with regard to STIs when she was prescribed the contraception you found

It’s completely normal for 20 year olds to have sex, regardless of having a boyfriend or not. I don’t really understand why, if you’re not bothered about her having sex, you mentioned certain things in your OP

KurtWilde · 18/06/2021 17:22

She's an adult. It's none of your business.

17june2021 · 18/06/2021 17:23

Also it’s completely normal for her to “refuse” to take the pill, like it’s almost as if you’re suggesting that she should take it regardless of side effects

There’s plenty of other contraception methods out there, she’s obviously been scared shitless with her previous experience of the pill though

Original poster
CovidCorvid · 18/06/2021 17:24

If you found contraception that is fully used up, presumably she’s not going to get pregnant as she’s been taking it

True, I think it was just coupled with the termination last year, she's having far more reproductive scares than I ever had.

When I say talk to her I wasn't meaning bollock her, more trying to encourage her to go on the pill....

OP posts:
17june2021 · 18/06/2021 17:25

Why would you try to encourage her to go on the pill when you know it isn’t the right method for her? She’s told you about the side effects she experienced after all - don’t dismiss that

ApplesandBananas21 · 18/06/2021 17:27

She can make her own mind up.

Original poster
CovidCorvid · 18/06/2021 17:27

The main side effect was that it "made her feel sick". She didn't really put on any weight. She was diagnosed with coeliac disease soon after and as I've said to her before I don't think it was the pill that was making her feel sick. Sadly some daft GP told her she was probably allergic to oestrogen....I had to point out to him I doubted it as she was on a progesterone only pill.

But OK, I won't mention anything to her.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 18/06/2021 17:28

It's a really difficult situation and I completely understand you - of course it impacts on both you and her if she gets pregnant. I'm surprised she's not gone for a bolt and braces approach after having an abortion. Maybe that's something that needs to be discussed. Has she ever gone to a clinic to talk through her contraceptive choices?

I think I'd wait a little while before talking to her. Do you know for sure it was her box and not a friend's?

Bibidy · 18/06/2021 17:28

No sorry, I think you should stay out of it if she's 20. It's good that she has taken responsibility and got herself the morning after pill. Lots would just bury their heads in the sand.

wizzywig · 18/06/2021 17:28

Jeez, do all of not give a shit about the sexual health of your kids? I'd be worried that she is using terminations and morning after pills as regular contraception. Why can't her partner use a condom

ApplesandBananas21 · 18/06/2021 17:29

@wizzywig

Jeez, do all of not give a shit about the sexual health of your kids? I'd be worried that she is using terminations and morning after pills as regular contraception. Why can't her partner use a condom
How do you know they didn't? Could have split
stuckinarutatwork · 18/06/2021 17:30

@wizzywig

Jeez, do all of not give a shit about the sexual health of your kids? I'd be worried that she is using terminations and morning after pills as regular contraception. Why can't her partner use a condom
She's not a child though. She's 20.
Original poster
CovidCorvid · 18/06/2021 17:32

Certainly when I was her age I used condoms and the pill. If a condom came off I was still protected. I'd have thought if one type of pill didn't suit she could try others? Or the injection, patch, etc. I suggested all of this to her after the termination and just got a refusal.

OP posts:
Tinkling · 18/06/2021 17:33

It doesn’t mean she isn’t using contraception. I’ve had a need for emergency contraception twice - both times due to a split condom.

Tinkling · 18/06/2021 17:33

P.S I refuse to take the pill too. It’s HER body.

Palavah · 18/06/2021 17:35

Anyway, the pill is 0% effective against STDs.