Wild swimming.

[malificent7]

Dd (13) wants to go wild swimming with a group of mates in a well known local spot for swimming...very slow river.
Whilst on the surfave it seems like a lovely thing to do I am concerned for the following reasons;
It is a 25 min drive from our house in a rural village.
She dosn't want me or any other adults around which means if anything happens i will be out of reach.
She is a fair swimmer but the banks can be hard to get out of.

I told her no but there was a massive scene saying all the other parents are letting their kids go so why can't I.
I have let her go to a local town on the bus alone but i feel uneasy about a remote spot. There are always lots of swimmers there though.

Am I being over protective?
At what age can i let her go wild swimming with mates unsupervised as it is a lovely thing for kids to do but atm i feel she and her mates are too ditsy/ immature to handle a crisis?

I suspect 15 other sets of parents haven’t agreed it, they just haven’t all been consulted

I suspect that this is really the case.

I’m another who used to do it from younger than 13, in rivers, lakes and the sea. Never ponds. Too scary. Jenny Green Teeth (weeds) might get you! We just used to call it swimming. Parents weren’t consulted, we just did it. I do remember being warned of the dangers though.

Wild swimming, yes absolutely, unsupervised without and adult, no way.

Have you visited and swam the site yourself?

Also as a pp said, we are due a lot of rain this weekend which will change the way the river behaves and upset the water quality so that would influence my decision.

I do feel that we should be educating people about wild swimming rather than giving a blanket ‘no’ and to the pp who said it’s no different than a swimming pool, I’d rather swim in the wild than in a chlorinated sweat box any day.

I have been thete and its georgeous BUT my partner and I found it very difficult to get out of the banks.

Back the door day it wasn’t called wild swimming, it was called swimming. It was considered a healthy activity and remains exactly that. Children have been swimming on beaches, in rivers and lakes since time began.

I swim regularly in ‘wild spots’. As long as there is good knowledge of the water quality, and currents and specific dangers then it’s fine. The country is littered with rope swings over water that have been used for generations.

Risks are often seriously exaggerated. Most inland water related deaths relate to alcohol. I wouldn’t recommend most canals or still water though because of infection risks.

Avid wild swimmer and swim coach here.

Perhaps go to the spot with her for a swim first and assess it?
And read / watch about water after rain. (flow goes up, possible sewage let out, temperature goes down).

Or if someone in your local area does wild swim coaching in your area, see if they can do a session for the teenagers as a birthday thing?

I half get that they don't want adult supervision - they're teenagers.
But.... swimming can turn from fun to fatal VERY QUICKLY.

I'd say get her a tow float. both acts as a (partial) flotation aid - NOT A LIFESAVING DEVICE, but useful, and for visibility if there's boats and others. It also inherrently makes you think a bit more.

(whether she'll use it is another thing tho I know)

I carry a light, thin rope to help get out of remote quarries etc. They can tie one to a tree or fence, put a few knots in and Bob’s your uncle,

Teenagers are much more adept at getting out than adults.

I don't think it's a question of age. It's a question of having the maturity to realise that there are big risks - and therefore having an experienced, strong adult with some knowledge of first aid and live-saving on the bank keeping an eye on things would be a really good idea.

If she thinks that would "spoil her fun" she's not mature enough.

We have done wild swimming as a family. And my older teenage child has a life-guarding qualification. Nevertheless, I have still had the experience of watching my younger daughter get into difficulties and start to panic in the water, silently and without her father or sibling noticing, despite the fact they were swimming nearby. Thankfully I was on the bank and me shouting instructions/encouragement to her was enough to get her to safety. I think the other two are still oblivious about how scary it was for a couple of minutes - and it would have got a lot worse if she'd been with a bunch of unobservant friends.

No from me.
Saying there will be other adults around is very selfish. If kids get into trouble, adult bystanders carry the burden on risking their own safety!
No either a couple of parents sit in the background, doing their own thing or it’s off.
The problem of course, is that they may not ask next time.

If rain is forecast the day before there's a chance the river might be swollen or fast flowing. That combined with banks that are difficult to get out of would make it a 'no' from me.

Most inland water related deaths relate to alcohol.

Or jumping from cliffs on a hot day into deep water that is 20+ degrees cooler.

If it is her birthday then other parents might assume it is something that you have arranged and are supervising which is why their children have permission to go. Not wanting supervision might also imply that some are planning to bring drink or even drugs. My first impression would be a no, but I might compromise with either me there at a distance or possibly a trusted young adult to keep an eye on them.

The difference with the sea is that there is often a life guard, there are flags to indicate safety and children living near the sea often have extra input in terms of water safety. This might not apply at all to this situation.

@Etulosba

Most inland water related deaths relate to alcohol.

Or jumping from cliffs on a hot day into deep water that is 20+ degrees cooler.

Few rivers have cliffs. The OP said shallow river. Most inland water deaths (as opposed to sea) are a male phenomenon and the majority are older. The majority of people who drown had no intention of entering the water.

Detailed information on which to help base your decision is below.

www.river-swimming.co.uk/stats.htm

@Iamapanda

So never let them do anything, lock them up in their bedrooms. FFS do they even walk to school? They could get run over.

There is a middle ground, you know.

I would be inclined to tell her she has to have one of these to go. www.wiggle.co.uk/zone3-safety-buoy-tow-float

Back the door day it wasn’t called wild swimming, it was called swimming. It was considered a healthy activity and remains exactly that. Children have been swimming on beaches, in rivers and lakes since time began.

The problem is that they don’t any more. We did it regularly from an early age, we picked up a knowledge of the dangers from more experienced friends and family because it was a normal part of growing up. Now it isn’t, what under tens used to do regularly in their summer holidays is now regarded some kind of edgy, almost extreme, sport.

If the OP’s daughter only has experience of swimming in sanitised pools, I’d be wary.

Few rivers have cliffs. The OP said shallow river.

The river that I swim in most regularly does, and I believe she said slow, not shallow.

Are you aware of the saying “Slow waters run deep”?

Actually, it’s still waters, but it amounts to the same thing.

@Etulosba

Back the door day it wasn’t called wild swimming, it was called swimming. It was considered a healthy activity and remains exactly that. Children have been swimming on beaches, in rivers and lakes since time began.

The problem is that they don’t any more. We did it regularly from an early age, we picked up a knowledge of the dangers from more experienced friends and family because it was a normal part of growing up. Now it isn’t, what under tens used to do regularly in their summer holidays is now regarded some kind of edgy, almost extreme, sport.

If the OP’s daughter only has experience of swimming in sanitised pools, I’d be wary.

Plus kids did drown back then too! A girl I knew in primary school lost her older brother in the river nearby, when he was 11. I remember finding his grave unexpectedly in the churchyard. More recently, a teenager girl drowned in a river I walk past every day, which kids swim in regularly.

I think it's brilliant that your daughter wants to do this, but at 13, they need a familiar adult nearby. Maybe not breathing down their necks, but within shouting distance. If she's not happy with that, is there any section of the river where they can mess around without going out of their depth? Or is there a beach within reasonable distance?

Could another adult go along to keep an eye but just pretend they are nothing to do with your daughter. Swimming in a river/the sea couldn't be more different to a pool, the shock of the cold water, the current, the uneven bottom, slippery sides etc My son who is a strong swimmer jumped in when he was younger, went into shock and had to be pulled out.

For my teen it would be yes, he’s in the sea most days. But he’s not your teen. Only you know them.

If she is unexperienced in swimming in rivers I wouldn't be keen at 13 without adult supervision.

It isn't just about if she is a good swimmer, the concern I had with ds was he was a strong swimmer, had done rookie lifeguard bronze badge so could swim 20+ lengths in pjs/get out of pool in shoes and pjs etc. but he would be the type to jump in full clothed and try to help another panicked 13 year old if they got into difficulty and then possibly get himself into difficulty/dragged down. He compromised with going somewhere else to mess about in the water, where it was slow/clear so they could see no weeds/litter and within their depths.

Plas y brenin (national outdoor centre) are holding free wild swimming awareness/safety training sessions for teenagers this summer. If you are anywhere near North Wales or coming here on holiday then it might be worth looking into.

Correction, it's Plas menai national outdoor centre that's running the sessions.

If its for her birthday there's an implied assumption that you're somehow responsible for whats happening. I'd say you don't want to risk someone else getting into danger, you don't know how enough about the others to say if they're strong swimmers etc.

As someone who does A LOT of wild/open water swimming that would be a definite no from me.

I allow DS13 to go with his friends in a local river but it's a 10 minute walk from our house and in a very busy/popular park where there are always people around.

Not a cat in hells chance would I drop him off 25 minutes from home and leave him in a remote location with no adults present.