Dd14 friend group

[alexvalentine]

My dd is having a dilemma with her friendship group at school. She loves them and they are all such sweet girls, but she is so much more mature than them and wants to do more mature things (going to parties, staying out late) which i'm fine with, but her friends still act very young and childish, (for example wanting to climb trees and do cartwheels whenever they go out) My dd really doesn't know what to do because she still really likes them and wants to stay friends with them, but she feels quite stuck because they have said to her they like being a group of 4 and don't want to make friends with other people, whereas my dd does. Any advice?

My DD is a bit younger than your DD but her friendship group is very much like your DD and they enjoy going to the park, beach/ sleepovers etc. To be honest I am quite happy with that as feel she has no pressure to act cooler than she is. Other kids her age are already smoking weed / drinking and I know which way I prefer.

I think this is such a difficult age OP with some happy to remain tethered to more childhood things and some wanting to be more grown up. The difference in mindset and personality between teens at this age starts to become more apparent. It can result in conflict and a transition away from primary school friends to new friends with more shared interests. I admit I was a bit alarmed when DD1 went through this and it wasn't easy moving from childhood friends who she no longer felt she had things in common with to others who shared her outlook and interests. It's part of growing up. TBH it was the friends parents that were most difficult to deal with implying that my DD had somehow gone off the rails by taking an interest in make up and hanging out rather than cartwheels and tree climbing. Have faith in your DD, encourage her to find her way and she will be ok. Those cartwheeling friends will soon catch up

Friendships can change at this age, ds(now 17) friendship groups have changed quite a bit over the last 3 years as kids move in and out of groups to see where they fit.

If she wants to move onto another group it is normal at this age, but she can't, and shouldn't, push her friends too hard to join her if they are not comfortable with the friends she is suggesting.

Just make sure these new friends, their friends, and partying out late activities are age appropriate for a 14 year old regardless of how mature they think they are. The wrong "cool" group could end up taking her down a track that impacts her behaviour, education etc.