DD first year of university, now saying she wont go back after Christmas, but wont work either and no way of supporting herself, which is putting a big strain on the household and relations with DP as we cant really afford to keep her, as it is we struggle to pay rent/bills and we're both in debt, me more than him, I have a lot of credit card debt which DP has been trying to pay off and managed about a 1/3 but its still gigantic.
I suggested changing courses but she says she's depressed and doesnt want to do anything, has no career goals, isnt fussed about having her own place or being independent, and shes got it easy at home as everything is done for her. She wont do chores, again because she says she depressed. Have exhausted the GP route as she didnt take her meds before, even though she was telling me she was but found full packets in her room, and she is adamant they dont help. Same with counselling, I got her a few private sessions with someone who was highly recommended but that didnt work either, she didnt like this woman, said she was setting her goals like homework and she didnt 'get her' she says.
If I leave her alone she just stays in bed or will sit on her phone all day, but am tearing my hair out, and I can tell DP is exasperated too but doesnt say that outright, but he works hard and has a very high stress job and I feel like Im dumping my problems on him and out relationship is definitely suffering too as a result of DD's issues.
I cant figure out if shes just being lazy or is genuinely depressed, shes never worked but has always been quiet and living in her own world, and Ive always done everything for her, maybe that hasnt helped, I guess she doesnt grasp that she has to do something, than doing nothing isnt an option, but when Ive tried to get through to her she says I dont understand depression and Im putting pressure on her so I back off because I dont want to exacerbate the situation and hope she'll snap out of it at some point.