14yr daughter pregnant by 14yr boy

[Parie12]

Dd is pregnant by boy deals weed with some gang involvement. His mum is encouraging it in her house. She thinks she is above the law. I reported my dd missing her numerous times to police she is found in the home. Now she is pregnant her family feeding my daughter lies. I knew this was not a healthy relationship. What is a 3oyr woman doing with a 14yr now her son. Disgusting what is family is doing. Nothing I can do?

Yes I checked there website thanks.

Keep reporting!! It sounds as though the boys mum is going to encourage her to keep this baby which means there's two children at risk here. Keep every text message, try and record phone conversations etc so you have proof. Keep going, don't give up. Report to every organisation you can think of.

Police won't treat sex between two 14yos as statutory rape. In fact, if the girl chooses to live the boy and his mother, police and SS will highly likely allow that, regardless of the drugs.

OP, this is a terrible situation for you to be in but you must show your DD and her baby's father support, however difficult for that will be, otherwise you will lose any influence over her at all.

Contact her school and your GP and have professionals talk through her options with her.

I will support my daughter love her dearly. I will not support the boy nor talk to his mum. Don't want anything to do with this family. I will be here to help her when or if it doesn't work with the family but I am not going to do co-parenting what so ever.
The cawn order is appropriate??

Under law, this is grooming as outlined below. You can phone 101 and ask to speak to the child safeguarding lead. Pregnant or not, your girl is being sexually exploited by this woman for the benefit of her son. Ask to complaint. This is ongoing and is more than just risk now.
I will speak to some of my colleagues who have more experience in this area today and get back to you.

Sexual Offences Act 2003
Section 14
Under the Sexual offences Act 2003 (SOA 2003), s 14, it is an offence to arrange a meeting with a child under 16, for oneself or someone else, with the intent of sexually abusing the child. A person commits such an offence if:
• they intentionally arrange or facilitate something that they intend to do, intend another person to do, or believe that another person will do, in any part of the world; and
• doing it will involve the commission of an offence under any of ss 9 to 13 of SOA 2003 (ie, sexual activity with a child; causing or inciting a child to engage in sexual activity; engaging in sexual activity in the presence of a child; or causing a child to watch a sexual act).
Someone found guilty of this offence will, on summary conviction, face up to six months imprisonment and/or a fine. If they are convicted in the Crown Court the maximum prison sentence is 14 years.
There is a defence to this offence if the person arranges or facilitates something that, although they believe an offence might happen, they do not intend it to happen, and they act for the protection of the child. A person acts for the protection of a child if their aim is to:
• protect the child from sexually transmitted infection;
• protect the physical safety of the child;
• prevent the child from becoming pregnant; or
• promote the child’s emotional well-being by the giving of advice.
An example of this would be where a person provides a condom to a girl under 16 to protect her from sexually transmitted infections/pregnancy where she says she is already having sexual intercourse.

If you could pm me your police force area, that would be useful.
Also, each and every time your daughter leaves your house to go to the boy's house, call the police on the basis that your child is at risk of child sexual exploitation. Every time, every day x

@HotSauceCommittee thank you!! I will, finally some one can help me, thank you! thank you!!

I understand you feeling that way OP, but the sad fact is the boy is potentially the father of your grandchild and his mother is the child's other grandmother. If you refuse to have any involvement with them you run a very real risk that you won't be involved in your child's or your grandchild's life.

It may well be grooming by the mother but there are so many far "worse" cases that take years for anyhting to be done (if at all). No one is going to take action about a mother grooming a child for the benefit of her 14yo son and even if they did, OP needs to deal with he practicalities for her DD now, not wait for the authorities.

@HotSauceCommittee

Have you not seen the Police and social services are already involved?

[quote Sisterwives]@HotSauceCommittee

Have you not seen the Police and social services are already involved?[/quote]
Yes, but in the OP's police force, they need prompting to be more proactive. Each and every time.
Every time the op's daughter goes missing, she is a medium risk missing person. This is regardless of how often and her current condition. She is at continuing risk of CSE. The OP's force should have a strategy for this (it's much more common than you'd think) and they should be proactively enforcing this.
We took a 15 year old into protective custody last night. We avoid doing that at all costs, but the if the situation warrants it, we will do it.

Are you in the UK, OP?
If so, you could apply for a Child Abduction Warning Notice against the boys mother.

library.college.police.uk/docs/appref/CAWN_Procedures_final_v1.0_240919.pdf

If your DD is going ahead with the pregnancy there will be involvement with a midwife who deals with young mothers. They will assess everything from drug use to where she is currently living/plans to live. They will involve SS if necessary. Their main area of concern will be the baby and any plans will revolve around this. This is your chance to be involved as your DD will need support and a place to stay after she gives birth and I would hope your home is a safer place than the place she is currently living. I would keep lines of communication open with your DD as she may need your support at some point even if it is not right now. Good luck.

I'd also say the OP is right in not wanting to "normalise" this situation by playing happy families with the boy and his mother.
If a grandchild is eventually born, the same environment and normalisation awaits within this family.

When I said health professionals I mean midwives and GP in relation to her pregnancy.

@HotSauceCommitee

Are you suggesting you're going to contact the relevant force? Based on a thread on MN? And you're pm-ing the OP to give you personal information?

Because you could be anyone tbh. If you're saying you work for the Police and you're going to intervene in some way on OPs behalf purely based on a MN thread by what is (lets be honest it is the internet) anonymous stranger, I find that really odd and quite worrying.

@Parie12

please be careful about who you contact via PM and who you trust with sensitive and confidential information. Not everyone on here is who they say they are and it’s not professional or best practice for anyone involved in Policing or Child Protection to offer to help a total stranger on the internet via PM. You are vulnerable and there are unsavoury people even here on Mumsnet.

@Sisterwives I will be careful in giving out information. What I am looking for is a good sound advise, he is clearly on point. I am currently dealing with professionals/police well over 8 months. No one took my concerns seriously if perhaps some one could have taken just a little bit of interest perhaps we might have avoided this situation. Am to blame as well

I don't want to fail her further by playing happy family as someone suggested. I know what has happened is very bad, I want to report it but I don't know how but I want to be careful with the information I put on here.

Having dealt with situations very similar to yours in a professional capacity, I'd also be wary of someone approaching you online to "help" OP.

It is true you need to keep reporting but it's also true, that the case of 2 14yos and his mother is highly unlikely to be high on the priority list for any police force CP team. The most likely outcome, IME, is that the girl will announce she's safe and well at the boyfriend's house, police will close the case and social care will "support" her to stay there. Once Social Care do that, she's no longer missing when she stays there. Which is why OP needs to work with DD and the father, despite that being a very difficult thing to do.

Try this number;

PACE works with parents and carers of children who are, or at risk of, being sexually exploitated. You can call them for confidential help and advice on 0113 240 5226 or fill in their online form.

If that's the case, Ss might as well to save us all the stress. I will not engage with that family they might as well support her where she is

What outcome do you want for your daughter then OP? If you're OK with her staying there then what is all this all about?

@AwkwardMoment2020 thank you!

I am not ok with her staying there, she wants to, its her choice. I will not engage with the family

But if you don't you will lose contact with her? Obviously you must do what you consider best, but if you want to help her, I don't see how you can do that if you aren't in her life.