14yr daughter pregnant by 14yr boy

[Parie12]

Dd is pregnant by boy deals weed with some gang involvement. His mum is encouraging it in her house. She thinks she is above the law. I reported my dd missing her numerous times to police she is found in the home. Now she is pregnant her family feeding my daughter lies. I knew this was not a healthy relationship. What is a 3oyr woman doing with a 14yr now her son. Disgusting what is family is doing. Nothing I can do?

[Alloverthegrapevine]

Quite, your daughter is a vulnerable child who has been exploited by this woman but her own son, the same age, is just a nasty drug dealer?

[FreeWillies]

He may well be but he's also a child who is being exploited and controlled by adults.

Such a sad situation all round.

[Parie12]

Yes she is, she thinks it is a relationship for her. He is a drug dealer

[Bananabread8]

Sorry to ask or if I’ve missed it. Is your daughter happy about being pregnant?

I hope you get the support that you need.

[Parie12]

@Harrysmum2020
I am so sorry you had to go through such a painful experience as a child. Thank you for your comment and advise.
From yours and previous comments its likely the police will not do anything but i just want to report and document what my experience so this does happen to another child in this womans home. Tbh I was naive to trust this woman, once she was starting to gain control of my dd, I reported my concerns. The sexual activity with son in her home she knew about. I did try to warn her to live my child alone but she did not care, and that is what I want to report. I kept thinking what has she got on my child?? I thought perhaps she was giving her the weed,, I am so broken!! I did try, wish i had been a bit more aggressive

[Harrysmum2020]

I’m so sorry you are going through I was sexually exploited as a child and it’s very hard when you are that brainwashed I have also come across women like this they are a very strange kind of sick... I hope your daughter sees sense and comes home in all honesty unless your daughter admits she’s being exploited I very much doubt soscial services or police will do anything but when the baby’s born they might think differently about a baby being in a house with drugs maybe try from that angle. I hope u get your daughter back

[Parie12]

@Bananabread8 she did not tell me,
It was the boys mum who called to tell me. My daughter was put on the phone afterwards. Tbh a lot of decisions were made about the pregnancy and the relationship by this family before I knew about it. I was the very last person to know.

[Bananabread8]

[quote Sisterwives]@HotSauceCommitee

Are you suggesting you're going to contact the relevant force? Based on a thread on MN? And you're pm-ing the OP to give you personal information?

Because you could be anyone tbh. If you're saying you work for the Police and you're going to intervene in some way on OPs behalf purely based on a MN thread by what is (lets be honest it is the internet) anonymous stranger, I find that really odd and quite worrying.[/quote]
I agree. Very unprofessional for a start.

[Bananabread8]

How did your daughter tell you she was pregnant OP? How many months pregnant is she?

[Bananabread8]

@flyingant

"What is a 30yr woman doing with a 14yr now her son. Disgusting"
It's probably not a good idea to call a woman disgusting for having been a teenage mum when your own daughter may about to be one.

Please get some professional support for you daughter and try to be supportive of her and calmly talk to her about the situation and her options.

To be fair I agree OP didn’t mean it in that way. Although I’ll happily admit from what OP has said I’d be saying the same if my child at 14 got pregnant and the sons mother just didn’t bat an eye lid!!

[Parie12]

@AwkwardMoment2020, thank you! PACE not taking calls currently, I will email my concerns today. I have also requested to join there parenting forum. Pace have really good information on CSE. All the signs were there, all the concerns were there long before the pregnancy.

I am so depressed. When you have a 14yr trying to bully you into normaling the pregnancy. And this woman..over heard there conversations with my daughter laughing at me. Have not heard the boy yet but his mum won't live my daughter alone...
I have to report my concerns even if the police don't do anything.

[Parie12]

I will leave the door open and hopefully soon she might come to some sense.

[Parie12]

@lunar1 I think I have lost her. She wants to be with this boy and play happy family. I can't do that am afraid.

[Parie12]

Not good she is very angry because I refused to talk to the boys family. She is considering going to stay with his family so they can be together. I would not stop her if she wants to. I am tired of this family feeding her lies, promises of looking after her and baby. I have not heard any realistic plans. I am more concerned they are trying to control her. I really can't get any word in at the moment and its getting very clear to they know what they are doing.

[Onceuponatimethen]

I think most parents would be concerned by drug dealing around their underage dc, sex and pg underage and gang involvement. Plus the 30 year old adult encouraging all of this

[lunar1]

You are at very real risk of losing your daughter and grandchild. I can't imagine how hard it is, but you really have to swallow your pride and engage with them all if you want the chance to pull her back.

In the eyes of a teenager your concerns are going to come across as incredibly controlling.

[Onceuponatimethen]

Don’t worry about that op

How are things today?

[Parie12]

OP am sorry got to this. I did not give him any personal information. I would not anyway, not online.

[Nicknacky]

HotSauceCommitee What would be the point of the OP telling you by pm what area she is in? What were you thinking of doing with that info?

[Sisterwives]

@HotSauceCommitee There are several very experienced professionals on this thread You just didn't know, you don't recognise them so thought you'd not be questioned.

You were. Think next time before steaming in, suggesting silly things, raising alarm bells and then stropping like a child when you're called out.

It has a big effect when people publicly claim things about legal processes in regards to serious issues like safeguarding while claiming to work in certain professions. Even anonymously.

It's important. And most professions would look very dimly on what you did. Even anonymously.

[HotSauceCommittee]

Ok then, Sisterwives. If you say so.
You aren't coming across as all that yourself, I can't imagine that you actually work with anyone, judging by your unpleasant way. I do hope YOU aren't working with anyone vulnerable.

[Sisterwives]

@HotSauceCommittee The OP already had numerous agencies involved. You were giving shit advice and offering to involve yourself in something that you don't actually know much about. You're either not working in the area you claim to be or extremely unprofessional, arrogant and a bit odd.

But I don't feel 'hostile' about it and I certainly wasn't the only one who expressed concern about your posts.

[HotSauceCommittee]

[quote Sisterwives]@HotSauceCommitee

Are you suggesting you're going to contact the relevant force? Based on a thread on MN? And you're pm-ing the OP to give you personal information?

Because you could be anyone tbh. If you're saying you work for the Police and you're going to intervene in some way on OPs behalf purely based on a MN thread by what is (lets be honest it is the internet) anonymous stranger, I find that really odd and quite worrying.[/quote]
I will leave it there then. There were avenues of professional help I was going to at least talk with, and a force area is very general information.
But yes, I could be anyone and it looks like the OP has all the resources now.
Hostile tone you've got there, BTW.

[Parie12]

@Apolloanddaphne I agree I will keep doing that. Difficult though

[Apolloanddaphne]

Thing is OP. She may know what she wants but she is too young to know what she needs. She is your responsibility and you need to keep pushing for what is right for her and her unborn baby.