DD almost 18 and no periods?

[JufusMum]

DD is almost 18, slim, athletic. Tiny boobs just appearing but no sign of periods. We had hormone tests two years ago and all appeared fine.
She’s going to university in September and I’m worried when it starts I won’t be there to help/hand hold.
Any advice gratefully received thank you x

She looks healthy, but the photo is quite identifying op. I've reported it for you.

I know someone who wasn't having periods at 15, but had body hair and boobs. Blood tests for hormones were normal to produce secondary sexual characteristics.

She had a pelvic scan and they discovered she didn't have a uterus and a very small vagina. Having no uterus happened during antenatal development, so she was born without one rather than having a disease that caused it to perish. You need to see an gynaecologist to get this type of diagnosis.

Agree with the poster who said ask to have the photo removed. It is very identifying.

Your dd looks very healthy in that photo.

You're right that you can't force her to go to the GP, but you know her best and what might help persuade her.

It's not within 'normal range' to have not started your periods at nearly 18 if you're a healthy weight, as your dd appears to be. There are always outliers, but definitely needs to be persuaded to have this properly investigated if you can.

Take care. You sound like a lovely, concerned mum.

I would think it is simpler to have a check with her GP who knows her than to attend a surgery at uni where they don't know her history. I would think at uni they might be more likely to be looking out for eating disorders or mental health problems so a local GP visit is just easier. Might she agree due to that.

OP in the nicest possible way your idea that there is no way your daughter could do anything without you knowing is delusional. I hid my period from DM for 2 years (embarrassed as she was a let's talk about it and embrace it type) it's really not that difficult. We also had an open door policy but that didn't mean she knew everything that was going on! I was on birth control for 3 years before I told her about it.
I think you need to realise there are probably lots of things you don't know!

dobby if she has been hiding her period then I don’t know how she has been purchasing sanitary protection! We love rurally with no shops nearby and no public transport so I have to drive her anywhere. She goes to school/work/dance class (before lockdown) so I don’t know how she would hide it?
I think it’s rather far fetched.

@JufusMum I used to either buy it when we went to the shops and say I wanted to go and look at x shop or my friends gave them to me at school. Most schools also have period banks which give out free packets of pads etc. It's totally possible.

Op, could she be on the pill and taking them back to back? Or maybe have an implant?

I think what concerns me is she thinks she will never get them. I think you know most females would be deeply concerned if they got to eighteen and no periods. It does feel like she is palming you off.

Does she have a boyfriend?

Bluntness
She has never visited the doctor without me. Unless she got birth control or SP at school?
No she has never had a boyfriend or even been on a date. She’s very “behind” like that. She prefers her pets and her dancing.

Hmm, it’s a bit odd her reaction then, don’t get me wrong periods are a pain, but it’s rare a girl gets to eighteen, doesn’t get them and isn’t bothered.

@JufusMum also, just a thought she could have a moon cup type thing then there would be no need for pads/tampons etc.
Like Bluntness I'm concerned she just thinks it would never happen unless she knows more than you think she does

You can get those Tests online if she’s shy to go to the gp.

JufusMum Mon 08-Jun-20 22:21:38
She has never visited the doctor without me.
.......
That is very unusual for a girl approaching eighteen unless, of course, she's one of those lucky people who rarely has anything wrong with her and the last time she went to the GP she was still a child.

You cannot force her to go but please do encourage her. Don't worry about not being around for hand hold, etc, if she 'starts' when she is at uni. At her age she'll know what to do even without any experience and won't need her hand to be held.

I can't help feeling she may have had periods though, and somehow hidden it though can't imagine why she would do that.

op, at 17 my dd always wanted me with her when she went to the gp. Shes 21 now and lives very happily and successfully independently at uni. In fact shes the most confident and independent of all my children!

Once she turns 18 you will have no access to her medical facts

That would be 16, or 14 in some areas, I thing 12 in Scotland?

For medical purposed your daughter is autonomous. You really don't have any control over her medical issues. You can only encourage her to seek medical attention.

Lynda07
She has never visited the GP without me because you have to go by car as we do not have a bus service. So I have to drive her there.

I suspect the key is the 10 hours of dance and the gym etc. Very high levels of sport can delay the onset of menstruation. It is common in gymnasts, competitive athletes. That said i would be encouraging another chat with the GP to check before going off to uni

She needs to see a gynaecologist!

Woah calm down guys!

My best friend growing up was a gymnast, she didn't get her period until 18 and to this day still eats huge amounts but has only just hit a size 8 (she hasn't done much sports now for 10 years!)

She has absolutely no health issues related to hormones etc. She just did so much sport it took her a lot longer and is also well known in that industry.

I don't think you understand what it is like to live rurally with no/poor public transport Lynda07.
Until DD went to university I always had to drive her to GP appointments and hospital appointments. I didn't go in with her, but I had to take her.

I get it now, Ginford.

I hope the op's daughter is alright; like others I think her lack of periods may be linked to her exercise and will right itself. Worrying for mum though.