DD almost 18 and no periods?

[JufusMum]

DD is almost 18, slim, athletic. Tiny boobs just appearing but no sign of periods. We had hormone tests two years ago and all appeared fine.
She’s going to university in September and I’m worried when it starts I won’t be there to help/hand hold.
Any advice gratefully received thank you x

Your house sounds stifling.

Ehrm have you seen a size six? Have you ever met a five eight woman who wears a six?

Shes 17. My 14 year old wears a 6 and is 5 foot 9. Yes, she's tall and skinny, but she doesn't have an ED.

Your house sounds stifling

Typical bitchy comment from a certain section of mumsnet.

Hi op, I’m so relieved that your daughter has agreed to see the G.P. I’m sure that they will suggest a few tests just to ensure everything is ok. I’m afraid that I have a bad feeling that your daughter has an eating disorder however I really hope that I’m wrong about that. Please encourage her not to change her mind when the G.P’s appointment is due. It will really help her (and of course you, if she’s willing to share the information) understand what (if anything) is going on and then get the correct treatment (if necessary). Best of luck with everything.

Believe me my daughter would have to have the secrecy skills of an MI5 agent to hide an eating disorder from me. If anything it could only be bulimia and not anorexia because of the amount she packs away.
I just asked her to phone the doctor this week and she said she didn’t want to, I don’t think she will make the appointment so I will probably have to.

So now I am getting worried with all this talk of eating disorders. This is a recent ish photo of DD (January). Does she look too thin?

[Image removed at OP's request]

Not at all!

OP there are reasons why a young woman might not have started her periods, other than weight/eating disorders. It is important that she sees a GP and possibly an endocrinologist to rule out any underlying issues.

She looks very healthy.

Op are you in America by any chance? She doesn’t look a size six.

My closest friends dd has to be admitted to hospital and put on a drip, because she was so underweight, so I was expecting to see a picture similar, OP.
But that was not the case!

I still can't believe you are being so blasé? about it though OP. It you had been concerned, surely 6 months ago, you would have just taken her to the GP yourself, without even entering into any debate with her?

I can’t force a 17 year old girl to go to the doctors!
What am I going to do? Drag her there?
I’m in the UK, and as I said initially she is a size 6-8. Probably nearer a size 8 in cheaper shops such as Primark etc but a size 6 in places like M&S.

Op, your daughter looks lovely and healthy in that photograph. Even more reason to encourage her to go to the G.P, as what she is experiencing is not what would be expected for a girl of her age and needs to be investigated. I am sorry that her resistance has started already. I was afraid that this may be the case. You are of course right that you can not force her. I really hope that perhaps through discussion with her, she will agree to attending the G.P. Again best of luck with everything.

Thank you Flip Flop, those are very kind words x

'You can't force'. Yes, but depending On what kind of relationship you have with your dd, ideally you can sit her down and say:
" I'm sorry but I really think we need to go to the doctors, like now, and maybe its best we go together? But I insist on this. ". Or similar ilk?

Not sure she will need help or a hand hold !?

You can’t actually force a 17 year old. After 16 you need her permission to talk to GP about her. At 16 without my mums knowledge after starting periods ( didn’t tell mum) and hating them I went on the pill and took them everyday.

I'd also be surprised if she's a 32A at a size 6/8. I'm a size 18 and take a 36E. I suspect she's wearing the wrong band size, so get her onto booborbust

Some girls start early, some start late. If the girl is not bothered, leave it be. She's lucky in a way, and saving you lots of money.

It must be the photo, my daughter is five foot nine and a size eight to ten and your daughter is definitely bigger than her. Just shows you can’t tell from photos.

I think she needs to see a gp also as she looks a very healthy weight to me.

She looks ok to me. I would get the photo removed as it’s very outing.

Definitely go back to the doctors. I'm very slim and I started my periods at 13. I weighed about 5 and a half stone then, so really tiny. I've always been slim and periods have always been regular. I'm also fairly active too.

I’ve reported your post OP. This is a total invasion of your daughters privacy.

Your daughter looks absolutely fine but you do need to impress upon her the need to see her GP because it is very unusual not to have started periods by her age. Not unheard of though. A GP appointment and blood tests will reassure her and you.

However, you can't make her go if she really doesn't want to.