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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Teenager plans for after lockdown

13 replies

Andi2020 · 14/05/2020 22:51

Has your teenager started making plans for after lockdown
I have 3 but one has started making plans with her bf expecting me to do 16 mile trip every day as we live in country he lives in town so apparently nothing to do in country. Reason he can't come here.
I am off work so no money for fuel she just doesn't understand that his family should be doing one off the trips each day and his family don't consider it either.
Am I been out off order she is 17 in July.
I will also have to give her money going out for food she has a part time job in a cinema but not back to August.
I'm totally stressed about covid19 she has asthma (mild) all off a sudden and he has Diabetes type 1. I think they should only go to each others house to they see if this spreads quickly when lockdown lifts bu TV apparently I'm keeping her from her friends for suggesting they be safe.

OP posts:

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/05/2020 09:43

She's 17 you don't have to give her money for food, especially if you can't afford it.

I would say something like "we'll talk about it when it's nearer the time". I think you'll just have to say no to a lot of it though or get her to compromise massively.

What's the bus service like between the two houses and has she got any plans to learn to drive?

Original poster

Andi2020 · 16/05/2020 13:48

Thanks.
No bus service directly but about 2 miles from a bus but would cost as much for bus as petrol and an extra risk off catching the virus
When we went to shop yesterday we measured the km it was 8 one way so that is 4*8 32 km a day so she said maybe on a good day we could both walk to we meet she knows I always give in
There is no way I would do this if I was the other parent but they probably don't even know we have to do 32km. I don't know any off them only saw the bf by accident when he sat behind us at mass.
My dd was in choir in balcony but my other dd knew him and told me he was behind me. He left quickly at end so have never met him.

OP posts:

ThePianist38 · 16/05/2020 17:41

I would probably do it once considering they haven’t seen each other for so long but after that it will be down do them to organise the meets. If they have bicycles they could both ride and meet half way maybe?
This is the main reason why my DD will get lessons and a car on her 17th , fed up of being a taxi driver

Original poster

Andi2020 · 16/05/2020 17:50

In the process off learning drive theory.
She had one lesson and freaked out a bit she thought it was easier than it was and then lockdown came and we didn't do anymore since.
No bicycles
I just want her to tell him how far we drive and ask if he can do some runs

OP posts:

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/05/2020 17:53

Could she get a cheap bike from eBay?

Agree with ThePianist, I'd probably do it once too, then leave it up to them.

Mustbetimeforachange · 16/05/2020 17:58

Surely he knows where his girlfriend lives? Tell her you are happy to do one way, not both, it's quite simple. I think maybe you are overthinking this.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 16/05/2020 18:08

This situation is so tough on young ones, it really is.

As she’s not seen the bf for so long I would do it once, it’s a little effort and would make your child happy so I’d do it once.

After that one time, between the two of them they need to work something else out

Is she not currently furloughed and getting a small amount of money from the cinema? I know it wouldn’t be a great deal of a part time wage but if she saves it what she’s have is better than nothing

Original poster

Andi2020 · 16/05/2020 18:29

No furloughed she is only 16 still and we in Roi he is Ni
I have been doing all the runs since November and she knows I will keep doing it. I asked her if she told him she said oh I forgot stop pressuring me.
I will off course leave and collect the first day. But she is not listening because I spoil her.

OP posts:

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/05/2020 18:38

But she is not listening because I spoil her. I think you have the solution right there OP. If you're not happy doing it you need to say no. Perhaps say that you'll pick her up but not drop off?

KipperBang · 16/05/2020 20:17

I would say ' that's lovely you're making plans. Brilliant! However do not rely on me to ferry you around every day OK? Choose the two days (or whatever you're happy with) a week that you'd like to go and I'll let you know what times suit me on those days'

So be accommodating but firm. Shouldn't be too difficult

RedskyAtnight · 17/05/2020 20:37

I think if you choose to live somewhere where there is no public transport, it is up to you to act as taxi service. However, I think you can set some ground rules (e.g. you'll drive her 3 days a week and she can x amount of money).

Original poster

Andi2020 · 17/05/2020 22:35

@RedskyAtnight that was helpful thanks.
That's just what my teenagers said I didn't choose where we live.

OP posts:

DrMadelineMaxwell · 17/05/2020 22:40

I certainly wouldn't be doing that more than once or twice a week.

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