Teenage hair dye disaster. My problem?

[longcoffee]

DSD14 (nearly 15) has been nagging to go blonde. She has dark hair.

Eventually, DH and I agreed, but on the proviso that it was done gradually and under the control of a trusted hairdresser.

Went to a local salon in December, set out a plan of highlights then, another set early March, another set in June. Lots of conditioning, and a gradual process.

She’s saved her Christmas money to have it done, and all agreed. Fine. Lovely.

She announced on Wednesday that she wants white blonde NOW. I said to the best of my limited knowledge it physically can't be done, and that we have a plan for a reasonable outcome and that certainly WASN'T white blonde. She said ‘it can, I’m doing it.’ Went back and forth for bloody ages, told her how it would end, showed her pics of crispy orange hair etc etc. Ended up with her agreeing, and saying the original plan was the best idea.

However. She’s just badly box dyed her hair. It’s patchy, orange and looks horrendous. I predict through-the-roof hysteria when she realises that no amount of purple shampoo will tone down this shit show.

So, do I brace my bank card and make an emergency do-what-you-can hairdressers appointment, or let her manage the consequences herself? Whether that be riding the ‘look’ out, or choosing to get it rectified. Obviously, (some of) the money to correct it as best it can be is there, she’s saved it for her original highlights.

Im torn between saying ‘you made the choice, you manage it’ and also not wanting to send her into school on Monday looking like a loaf of tiger bread so forcibly stepping in.

What do I do?

Why not just send her to school?

Why should we fix everything immediately?

Say you need to save some pennies and arrange an appointment and she can contribute

You’d be lucky to get an appointment between now and Monday.
I would let her lead....see what she wants to do, let her come to you and ask for help rather than offering it.
It seems such a shame that she went against the original plan but that’s kids/teenagers for you. They want everything NOW!

She's now dried it and it's comically bad. I laughed :-S

Tbh, I think she SHOULD go to school looking like an idiot, but am very new to this parenting lark, and don't know whether it's me being completely insensitive or it's the right thing to do!

Oh god. It's not your problem but it is your daughter's, and I suppose you need to decide whether to help her!
I wouldn't rush to a decision.

Sorry op but looking like a loaf of tiger bread made me giggle!

I would phone around and get her an appointment. I think it’s likely that she’s learned her lesson and won’t do it again.
But you know your Dd, use your own judgment on how much she’s learned and how going to school like that will affect her.
Good luck!

Laughing at her was nasty.

I would consult her father and mother on what to do. Would prob help her get it sorted out professionally, and take any money she has to part cover the cost.

I’d sort it out for her although would be tempted to tell her it has to go back brunette, I dyed my teens hair (not a hairdresser although I seem to think I am at times) and had to get emergency appt to fix the bright yellow it went as it was completely my fault

I would probably sort her an appointment but I wouldn’t be paying for it! She should use her own money to get it corrected.

Leave her to work out what and how she wants to manage this

Wait, if she asks for help, then ask what help she needs

Definitely help her sort it out before Monday - but if that means an expensive emergency appointment, then she needs to pay for it (or pay you back, if she hasn't got the money now).

Unless she's the sort of extremely confident young person who would laugh it off, making her go to school with disastrous patchy hair (and presumably no option of hat/scarf to cover it because of uniform rules) strikes me as very unkind.

She should use her saved money to correct it. Then resave up again if she wants to go blonde in a more sensible fashion.

She's decided that she wants to get it sorted at the hairdressers, having looked at it from all angles and then her getting the giggles.

She's called them, and they've asked her to pop in - miraculously they have an appointment tomorrow morning.

Just skipped out the door in a hat. I asked before she left how much money she has (I know, but wanted to see what she said) she said 'about £20'. So potentially an interesting conversation on her return about who's paying what.

Yikes. A bit mean to laugh but if she's giggling too then maybe it's just a lesson learned. Let us know how it turned out? Do you have pics? Could act as useful warning for us all!

How didn’t you notice she was doing this? Strange you wouldn’t have stepped in sooner.

I wouldn’t leave her to the consequences. She’s seen the results, isn’t that enough, or would you rather add some public humiliation to it for extra pain and suffering?

I’d be trying to get an appointment tomorrow. If not, stick a temporary dye through it to tone it down and get an appointment when you can.

Oh dear.I remember going to the hairdressers and having my dark brown hair dyed " golden blonde" it turned out an awful gingery blonde and I got roots after a few days never again.Ive been black for years now it suits my colouring more than my natural colour and it's still "dramatic" but at the other end of the colour spectrum.Couldnt she do that?

We've all done it!

By all means help her get an appointment, but she has to pay for it with her savings. You warned that exactly this would happen.

My daughter laughed at me when I'd not left the bleach on long enough and it came out illuminous orange. I wouldn't say it was nasty to laugh, I'd have laughed too!

Oh blimey, we've all done it,I can't believe you laughed at her.

I would help her out,can't you remember what it's like being teased at school? I'm glad it's doing to get sorted before Monday.

Perhaps listen to what she's saying in the future? Why did she need to wait to go blonde and do it gradually?

I'd leave this to her parents to figure out.

Think I would pay to have it returned to its natural colour.

Dd did this. Tiger loaf is spot on.
I left her to get on with it.
She’s a few years older now, and I think she’s learnt from it.

She had to learn the hard way 😂
I’d give her a choice- you pay if it’s back to natural colour or she pays if it’s blonde? It’s time to take responsibility for actions

Actually that's a good point, the upkeep of staying blonde is a lot!

Why would it be your problem? Your step dd has disregarded the advice given by a professional hairdresser and decided to do a botch job on her hair instead. I wouldn't pay for her to get it sorted. If she has savings let her use that, or let her dad pay (and her mum if she is in her life).