I wanted some advice on my 13yo daughters social interactions as I don’t feel this is normal teen behaviour. Most of this is taking place on social media or in school. She does not have unlimited internet access and does not have her phone in her bedroom. She is obsessed with her phone and messaging, she would go on it all waking hours if she could. Recently I looked at her messages as I was quite worried about the amount of fall outs she was having - hence I’m not sure how to raise things else she will know I’ve looked at her messages and I don’t want her to feel embarrassed, I also feel bad for invading her privacy.
I will try to bullet point it, as it’s a mess altogether.
She will get involved in other people’s arguments and, no other word for it, shit stir - ie screen shotting something someone has said about someone else and sending it to the other person. She tries to be manipulative to get people to do/say things against others and then tells the others what so and so has said.
She will tell people she might have ADHD, autism, that she has anxiety, depression - that she has been crying in her room all night, that she is starving herself, that she never sees her dad (he lives with us) as he is an alcoholic, that she is upset as people she is close to have died recently who haven’t - ie uncle, grandparent. A child who had died in a nearby town was made out to be a good friend of the family and all her friends rallied around to support her grieving - she had never met this child. It is all made up, seemingly to get attention / sympathy.
A boy asked her out, she was messaging him that night asking repeatedly if he loved her, and then virtually hounding the boy with a one sided argument as he didn’t reply quickly enough and eventually said he must hate her, sent lots of heartbreak/pain/angst memes to him, messaged all her friends saying they had broken up with crying emojis asking them to message him to find out why he “hates her”, the lad blocked her in the end. This was not a one off, she has done it to other boys, and is also the same with her friends - expecting an instant response and if she doesn’t get one that means her friend now hates her for some reason or is “being funny”.
Obviously it’s all attention seeking but in a negative way, she comes across as quite confident and does have friends who she also sees outside of school but she can’t carry on like this, someone will find out the stuff she is lying about, or someone will just exploit her obvious neediness.