Stroppy, obstinate, know-it-all, smart arse...

[LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD]

I haven’t the strength (15 year old).

Can be a lovely, funny and affectionate kid, but the switch can turn and he becomes Kevin the Teenager with bells on.

I have been tripping over his schoolwork for days - literally his files, reams of paper/notes and books are in a pile in the middle of his room. I have asked him since term began to make sure it’s all away but the pile gets larger.

If I ask him to do anything he puts it off, drags his heels and runs down the clock until it’s passed bedtime, and then we start again the next day.

Anything and he has a smart reply or tries to get into a debate to avoid doing what’s asked of him.

Any tactics I can borrow?

Don't go in his bedroom then you won't trip over his stuff! If he wants laundry done he brings it out to a basket outside the room. If he leaves any plates or cups in his room he doesn't get his next meal til they're in the dishwasher/washed up.

That's one source of stress removed - shut the door and don't look at the mess!

I’d love not to - but he went through a phase of not bothering to file his schoolwork or homework, instead just balling it up and showing it behind the wardrobe or just throw it in the bin. He seems to have no concept of consequences. The run up to exams was fun! So it is safer to stick my head around the door once in a while in case there’s anything too alarming I can put the breaks on.

Hi - I work in a secondary school - we keep all student books on-site - get him to have a use a school locker and to do all his homework and revision in school - if he is this disorganised at 15 he will get very stressed very soon with gcse pressure - much better than trying to change him is to give him a system that works - all schools will have libaries open, ict rooms open in addition to organised homework and revision sessions every day of the week - he needs to be in them and keep all work at school.

Your disorganised is simply his organised. People used to say my room at university looked like stuff was thrown in but I could lay my hand on anything immediately. Tidy rooms are for people who have spare time or bad memories.

15 yr old DSs are a mare!
Mine isn’t quite as bad as that but I seriously have to metaphorically sit on him to make him do any work otherwise he’s out constantly, or gaming.
He would like to do well with minimal effort but it’s not going to happen. He’s very disorganised (the school book situation in his room is just terrible despite my attempts to sort it - it just gets messy again after a day or so) which doesn’t help either.
Lovely boy, he’s got so much going for him but he really needs to sort out his shit to reach his potential gcse.
I took my foot off the pedal for a bit last year and that was not a good term for him - it proved to me he still needs my help with the organising and checking, helping w revision etc. My DD wasn’t like this at all, she was so motivated and I was aghast at friends who’d be so involved w their DSs - now I know why!

Choose your battles.

Back now (from the naughty step). Well we are trying to keep him off the laptop when working and have the phone/messenger away so that he isn’t distracted.

And no - his disorganisation really is disorganisation, as I frequently get asked ‘muuuuum where did you put my maths folder??’ When it is lying in a pile of furry laundry on the floor. If he could find things then I wouldn’t mind the clutter bit odd sheets of notes left lying around gets me twitchy!

Furry laundry? I meant dirty (but I did find some that was close to furry when he had left his muddy rugby kit fermenting in a plastic bag next to the radiator for 3 weeks over the holidays 🤢)

I feel your pain, stroppy teens are hard work....but your 'furry washing' made me smile 😊 It'll get better eventually, hang in there