DD14 wants braces and I don’t know how to react

[Meanderer]

Her teeth aren’t ‘American teen’ perfect but they are absolutely fine and given her Dad had dental issues and had a complex about them, and birth mum had jaw issues and corrective surgery to fix, I don’t know why we are even talking about it, I feel as though we should leave them well alone. Her dentist says they’re fine, too, any treatment would have to be done privately. We’ve become quite polarised because I see this as a cosmetic procedure and I just hate the idea of it. She’s a confident happy teen and I don’t understand why she wants this, and I’m stuck as to whether to honour her wish - it’s her body - or put my foot down and say no - when she’s an adult she can pay for it herself. She did tell me one of her Dads friends said in front of her (who also has perfectly normal teeth, but works in an image conscious industry) that ‘she regrets not getting it done’ when she was young. I’m angry with her too for saying it in front of our daughter, but I wasn’t there so not sure whether that’s fair. I feel as though her Dad has projected his own insecurities on her but maybe I’m being unreasonable- any thoughts/advice?!

I don't really have a great deal to add, but I had braces as a child and the pain when they were tightened each time was pretty immense, even putting your teeth together hurt for about 4 days afterwards. I also had to be careful about what I ate and drank in case of staining my teeth / discoloration. Maybe things have changed since then, but perhaps sit down and talk through all of the pros and cons and the long term commitment it involves.
Just as an aside I lost my retainer towards the end of my treatment and my teeth started to revert back to how they were, much to the chagrin of my orthodontist.

I would look into getting a consultation with an orthodontist, it doesn't hurt to get a professional opinion.

Can you afford it. My DC have NHS referrals for braces but the waiting lists and times are long and so we looked at the cost of getting it done privately. Circa £3k each

Consult an orthodontist. Probably best if both of you hear the same information. Even if her teeth are “only tight” better alignment can help with flossing, if a couple teeth cross over with age it could get worse.
If her father had issues requiring braces and mother jaw issues why would you not consult a professional?

When you say they are fine - how fine is that? Is there anything obvious that she wants corrected? The problem is that it is easier to correct when younger. If I had the money I’d pay - I did for one DC whose corrections weren’t enough to qualify for free treatment. Other DC have had treatment on the NHS.

Agree with a pp why not take to the orthodontist and see what they say?

I would take her to an orthodontist, and then if they recommend braces I would definitely get them for her. Both of mine had braces and it was money very well spent. A beautiful smile is so important.

I never had a brace when I was younger, as my front teeth are pretty straight.

Fast forward to middle age and I wish I'd had a brace. My appearance is fine, but crooked teeth (especially at the back) are much harder to care for, despite my best efforts, and have needed a fair bit of work. One will probably have to come out in the foreseeable future.

My dentist says this is a common problem. Braces aren't just for cosmetic reasons. If your teeth are better aligned then they tend to last a lot longer.

The cut-off for NHS braces is quite high - there are plenty of kids who would benefit from braces but can't get them on the NHS.

My 14yo has NHS braces, but I would have paid to go private if necessary. He has had very little discomfort or trouble with them. The whole process seems much less traumatic than it used to be (my sister had braces as a teen and suffered quite a lot).

I would look into the pros and cons and discuss it with your DD. It doesn't sound like a bad idea to me.

You're no expert and what they look like is not necessarily indicative of how good her teeth are positioned. Our dentist in the UK never commented on our kids' teeth. Fast forward and having now seen an orthodontist in Europe both our daughters are getting braces. It's really worth it. I don't know why on Earth you'd not want to get your daughter braces. Your objection makes no sense to me. Why object to something which is good for her!

Mine are both having them (one NHS, one private). The dentist didn't suggest it
for either but when I asked agreed it would help and referred both of them. The younger they have it done the better it is likely to work. I agree it's not just about appearance, its also about the longer
term health of teeth and gums.

Our dentist will not refer you if it's cosmetic only.
DD1 was borderline apparently but was referred and the orthodontist said she was just on the right side for it being paid.

I know a number of adults who had “fine” teeth as children but they’ve got progressively worse as adults to the point of needing Invisalign at significant cost

If you could afford it and she wants it I’m not sure why you wouldn’t do it. Average or bad teeth can make people feel awful about themselves

I'd give her them. If she's conscious of her teeth then i would want to help with that.

My teeth didn't look bad, I had a gap between the front two but they were all straight enough - I had braces and now have really good teeth.

Has helped when my wisdom teeth came through too as I have a tiny jaw space and all four wisdoms.

Plus, it's shit having to wear braces as an adult when as a teen every one has them!

I wouldn't entertain the idea unless the dentist referred her to the orthodontist and I definitely wouldn't be paying for the treatment which is thousands- imo that money is far better put away for uni. Start down that road and what next, a boob job,nose job?

I say that as a mother of a son who had braces.

The NHS only funds braces for level 3 on up - which are serious malformation issues like cross bite, over bite, very crooked teeth.

So, your teeth can definitely be NOT fine but also not bad enough for NHS braces.

This sounds bad, but it means if your DDs teeth are only level 1 or 2, they should not be too expensive to pay for privately.

I would take her to an orthodontist for an assessment and quote. Lots of orthodontists do monthly payment plans. It may only be £100/mo for a couple years.

Straight teeth always pay for themselves in long run with less decay, good bite, etc.

Start down that road and what next, a boob job,nose job?

What a fucking ridiculous comparison

i should have had braces as a child but left it too late.

i massively regret this and am now considering having them as an adult.

Being conscious of your smile is no easy thing to live with.

What a fucking ridiculous comparison

Why?

Honestly people need nasal and breast surgery for health reasons as well.

The NHS only funds braces for level 3 on up - which are serious malformation issues like cross bite, over bite, very crooked teeth

I have no idea how ds qualified, his teeth were fine and 'just' borderline according to the orthodontist. They were so borderline he only needed braces for 8 months. We must have lots of funding in this area.

From NHS webpage
“A rating system known as the Index of Orthodontic Treatment Need (IOTN) is used to assess your eligibility for NHS treatment. The British Orthodontic Society (BOS) website has more information about the different grades used for the IOTN.

NHS treatment is available for grade 4 and grade 5 cases. Grade 3 cases are usually judged on an individual basis. Treatment may also be made available if the appearance of a person's teeth, jaw or face is of concern.”

www.bos.org.uk/Public-Patients/Orthodontics-for-children-teens/Fact-File-FAQ/What-Is-The-IOTN

Grade 1 is almost perfection

Grade 2 is for minor irregularities such as:

● slightly protruding upper front teeth

● slightly irregular teeth

● minor reversals of the normal relationship of upper and lower teeth which do not interfere with normal function.

Grade 3 is for greater irregularities which normally do not need treatment for health reasons.

● upper front teeth that protrude less than 4 mm more than normal

● reversals of the normal relationship of upper teeth which only interfere with normal function to a minor degree; by less that 2 mm.

● irregularity of teeth which are less than 4 mm out of line

● open bites of less that 4 mm

● deep bites with no functional problems

Grade 4 is for more severe degrees of irregularity and these do require treatment for health reasons.

● upper front teeth that protrude more than 6 mm

● reversals of the normal relationship of upper teeth which interfere with normal function greater than 2 mm

● lower front teeth that protrude in front of the upper more than 3.5 mm

● irregularity of teeth which are more than 4 mm out of line

● less than the normal number of teeth (missing teeth) where gaps need to be closed

● open bites of more than 4 mm

● deep bites with functional problems

● more than the normal number of teeth (supernumerary teeth)

Grade 5 is for severe dental health problems

● when teeth cannot come into the mouth normally because of obstruction by crowding, additional teeth or any other cause.

● a large number of missing teeth.

● upper front teeth that protrude more than 9 mm

● lower front teeth that protrude in front of the upper more than 3.5 mm and where there are functional difficulties too

● cranio-facial anomalies such as cleft lip and palate. 

Honestly people need nasal and breast surgery for health reasons as well

Of course they do but that isn't what the thread is about,it's about a 14 year old wanting cosmetic dentistry that will cost thousands. If it's about confidence what will the OP say if her dd asks for a boob job because it will help her become more confident,or a nose job because her nose isn't Insta perfect?

I totally understand. I have the same issue with DS1. the problem is that his teeth are ok, they're not that great, but they're okay and there minor gaps between all teeth and they're a bit Gappy looking overall.

whereas nearly all his friends either have perfect teeth or a large proportion of them have had NHS braces now have really nice teeth.

although I would like to fix his, the cost is just so extortionate. I just don't think we can afford to.

I would take her to an orthodontist for an opinion. Personally I don’t think you can put a price on straight teeth and even if they look fine the bite might not be great and can cause lots of problems down the line. I have one being done on the NHS and one we paid for because they were fine but not perfect and it was worth every penny. They are American straight but they look totally amazing

DHs teeth came into level 4 so he qualified for NHS treatment. He need to wear a retainer and it has taken 2.5 years but his teeth and jaw line are so.much better now.

I would have definitely paid.if the NHS had not done them.imhad started saving when he was about 10 as I could tell them he would need braces
I.would.ask an and dentist/ orthodontist for which grade her teeth are in and decide basd on that

Ds had 'slightly irregular' teeth according to that NHS page. Ds chose to have them in the end as his mate had them too.