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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

DD14 wants braces and I don’t know how to react

84 replies

Meanderer · 05/08/2019 14:02

Her teeth aren’t ‘American teen’ perfect but they are absolutely fine and given her Dad had dental issues and had a complex about them, and birth mum had jaw issues and corrective surgery to fix, I don’t know why we are even talking about it, I feel as though we should leave them well alone. Her dentist says they’re fine, too, any treatment would have to be done privately. We’ve become quite polarised because I see this as a cosmetic procedure and I just hate the idea of it. She’s a confident happy teen and I don’t understand why she wants this, and I’m stuck as to whether to honour her wish - it’s her body - or put my foot down and say no - when she’s an adult she can pay for it herself. She did tell me one of her Dads friends said in front of her (who also has perfectly normal teeth, but works in an image conscious industry) that ‘she regrets not getting it done’ when she was young. I’m angry with her too for saying it in front of our daughter, but I wasn’t there so not sure whether that’s fair. I feel as though her Dad has projected his own insecurities on her but maybe I’m being unreasonable- any thoughts/advice?!

OP posts:

Loopytiles · 05/08/2019 17:41

You sound a bit “woo” about the genetics thing too.

31RueCambon · 05/08/2019 17:42

Yeh wrt retainers, friends of mine who had braces in the late 80s, they werent given retainers and their teeth seem only a bit better than average. I do think teeth move back a bit but not completely!

Anyonebut · 05/08/2019 17:47

@LoafofSellotape, that was not my case. I had braces because my lower jaw was too short. My top teeth were fine and the braces did not affect them or move them, yet, almost 20 years later due to pregnancies and wusfom teeth, they are now slightly overlapping.

Aragog · 05/08/2019 17:48

Even if she does get braces - is she then willing to maintain her 'new' jawline for the rest of her life? After braces you need to wear retainers thereafter . To start with full time, then only nights - gradually moving to at least 2 or 3 nights a week forever, well for as long as you want to keep your new straight teeth.

DD did qualify for NHS treatment but, because we wanted out of school hour appointments, we paid. DD's treatment cost around £2500. This has included two retainers. If she loses these, or doesn't wear them enough and her teeth move, we would have to pay for more. Invisalign is dearer.

DD had metal braces but white brackets. No issues whatsoever with them, and they are the norm - majority of people have no issues. I'm sure they'd test it first for her if you suspected an issue.

Aragog · 05/08/2019 17:50

31RueCambon You're right. They dont always move back completely. A lot depends on what treatment was down and how your teeth react to being moved. I was never given retainers -t hey just didn't seem to be the thing in the 80s. My teeth are still fairly straight, especially to look at, but not entirely. But I know others who had braces back then and no retainers and their teeth did return a lot more ad are therefore now very crossed and no longer straight.

QuickThinkOfAName · 05/08/2019 17:59

My teeth were slightly crooked as a kid. My dentist sent me to an orthodontist who said we could have braces but they'd have to remove healthy molars to make room. My parents thought that was a bad idea and no one was concerned about my teeth anyway.

I'm now having Invisalign. My teeth are getting worse as they push forward as you get older (worse for women) so any slight anomalies become much more obvious.

It was also a problem for me as they were hard to clean inbetween. Too many teeth. Too little room.

Nowadays they don't need to remove teeth to create space but it's a lot of faff and if my dc asked me for braces I would definitely talk through the pros and cons with a professional. The process has changed massively and I've been impressed with the lack of pain (although it's laborious and boring) and I can't tell you how much it has changed me psychologically to have a smarter smile.

QuickThinkOfAName · 05/08/2019 17:59

I'm now having Invisalign. My teeth are getting worse as they push forward as you get older (worse for women) so any slight anomalies become much more obvious.

It was also a problem for me as they were hard to clean inbetween. Too many teeth. Too little room.

Daaps · 05/08/2019 18:00

Take her to an orthodontist (or a few) and get a professional opinion. My teeth were ‘not bad enough for braces’ as a teen and I spent 20 years talking with my hand over my mouth and not smiling until I got them fixed as an adult. I have problems with my jaw and bite that are a result of delaying treatment but the biggest problem was ‘cosmetic’. Not sure why people are so snippy over cosmetic procedures. I absolutely hated my teeth. I got sacked from a waitressing job as a teenager for telling a bloke to fuck off when he said how I would be so pretty if it wasn’t for my teeth. I don’t have a single photo of me smiling between the ages of about 15 and almost 40. My braces were the best money I’ve ever spent and I have a roomba.

Original poster

Meanderer · 05/08/2019 18:38

Ha Daps, I had to google it, if I offered my daughter a hoovering robot or braces she’d probably pick the roomba
She nearly always grins in photos and rarely behaves at all as if she’s self conscious. She’s a beautiful, confident (for a 14 year old), brave young woman - her teeth are honestly barely noticeably not perfect - I just don’t get it! Her best friend has major problems with her teeth, no/flaky enamel and lots of fillings/crown/extraction etc. She is self conscious about her teeth. I’m wondering is it some kind of herd mentality thing..

OP posts:

Cynsbin1 · 05/08/2019 20:27

My 14 needed braces. She had issues with her jaw and had to wear twin blocks for a year, before she could have the braces. Now she has full braces and already the difference is awesome. We did a payment plan to spread the cost.
Personally it giving your child gorgeous teeth for life. It’s a gift.
Completely nonsense some arsehole said earlier about the next thing will be a nose or boob job. Maybe that’s the case with his/her kids. Totally worth it. A good orthodontist will advise you to go for braces or not.

Aragog · 06/08/2019 09:10

Nowadays they don't need to remove teeth to create space

It depends on individuals teeth and jaw. Dd did need to have three teeth removed in the end before her treatment.

kjhkj · 06/08/2019 11:14

your finances are all important here. DS1 has an NHS referral. We don't want to wait for this and so just the cost of the consultation privately is £110. After that the cost for NHS basic level braces upper and lower is £3600. Less obvious braces are more expensive.

jewel1968 · 06/08/2019 11:52

My DS's dentist referred him to orthodontist. We understood there to be a slight issue. Orthodontist said DS would need 4 teeth removed and braces for 18mths. DS has a history of health issues so I was very wary of tooth extraction especially as I could not see a real need. We were told that NHS would fund as severe.

We asked for a second opinion and got referred to most sought after orthodontist in the area. He said DS had mild misalignment and could if he wanted have a brace for cosmetic reason but would not need any extraction and NHS would not cover it. He was shocked at the other orthodontist's recommendation. He generally felt DS did not need a brace.
DS agreed.
I do think some orthodontic treatment can be damaging if not really needed especially if they start to suggest extractions. There is a load of info on the net if you google.
I do think when someone is anxious about a part of their body that others think is fine there are other things going on.

We have become accepting of people wanting perfect teeth even if there are only slightly misaligned but we are less accepting of other cosmetic procedures. How would you respond if your DD came to you asking for another part of her body to be altered to something she thought was perfect. If you do go to an orthodontist for an assessment I suggest you go to at least 3.

MargoLovebutter · 06/08/2019 12:01

Both my DCs had functioning teeth but they were wonky. They didn't qualify for NHS braces, so I paid for them both to have their teeth straightened.

What does the dentist define as "fine" in this instance?

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting straight teeth, it isn't the thin end of the wedge to other cosmetic procedures.

Cost me a bloody fortune though - £2.5k each!

Branleuse · 06/08/2019 12:06

The nhs will now ( in the last couple of years) only fund braces that are medically necessary. Not to straighten functional teeth for cosmetic reasons.
I don't know why you are judging your dd for wanting straight teeth though as if its the height of shallow vanity. If you can afford it and she wants it, then i think its mean to not give her the best chances in life. Having a good smile and nice teeth can make or break confidence

Aaarrgghhh · 06/08/2019 12:20

Start down that road and what next, a boob job,nose job?

Wtf? 😂

Oblomov19 · 06/08/2019 12:35

I have no idea how to get cheap braces for Ds1. He has just naturally 'gappy' teeth, gaps between nearly all of his teeth. It's feels majorly unfair. Most of his friends have NHS braces and he desperately wants them. The cost privately is just too much though!!

MargoLovebutter · 06/08/2019 12:37

Oblomov19, I found an orthodontist who would let me do a payment scheme, so that I didn't have to find large lumps of cash all at once. You might want to look into that?

jewel1968 · 06/08/2019 12:43

I think it is reasonable to be cautious and ask questions especially if one professional is telling you a brace is not necessary. Braces (especially with extractions) can alter the whole shape of the face not just alter the teeth. Asking questions here and doing your own research will equip you with the information to make the best decision.

TheBrockmans · 06/08/2019 13:48

In my dd's class I am sure the braces are the reason they haven't studied magnetism yet, they all have them or are waiting for them, train tracks rather than invisilin ones. Fortunately dd is on NHS due to slightly over required overbite. If she wants them then I would be supportive, especially if you aren't paying. I wouldn't force them on a child unless there was strong medical reasons but it is so standard in a way that other cosmetic surgery is not. Better to get ball rolling now before GCSEs fully impact. The first few days were really painful, but now she hardly notices them. The dentist will be aware of nickel reactions.

kjhkj · 06/08/2019 15:28

I have no idea how to get cheap braces for Ds1

I don't think there is a way without an NHS referral and then you have to be prepared for a very long wait.

Setting3 · 06/08/2019 22:28

I had one dc who qualified for NHS and one who didn't - both really wanted perfect teeth and we had the money so we paid - the dentist was happy with installments and was very picky about the result - the gift of a perfect smile indeed. Both looked after their braces and have subsequently looked after their teeth and they have lovely confident smiles - no regrets at all - cosmetic issues can become psychological issues so I don't dismiss them out of hand.

Setting3 · 06/08/2019 22:30

I have no idea how to get cheap braces for Ds1 Our dentist did half price for under 18s and had a payment plan - we just paid a little every time ds went in for a check up.

gabsdot45 · 07/08/2019 21:56

Getting braces is a status symbol around here.
That's probably why she's looking for them.

BlueCornsihPixie · 07/08/2019 22:57

If she's going to get braces I would 100% say she should get traditional train track braces not invisalign at 14

Proper fixed braces can do full tooth movement and can basically do a lot more than invisalign. Invisalign is good for tooth rotations and minkr discrepencies but it requires compliance and at 14 she might not be compliant. Plus the advantage to invisalign is it's clear, at 14 everyone will have train track braces so there will be no embarrassment and they can do much more than invisalign, there's no point.

A lot of people do still need extractions for good orthodontic treatment. It really depends on how much space you have.

I think if DD wants braces, and your ex is willing to pay I would. She's prime age, if she has it when older it's going to be so much more difficult, there's nothing wrong with wanting straight teeth. So many adults say they regret not having braces as teenagers. Plus straighter teeth are easier to keep clean so there is a health benefit too!

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