What age did you allow your kids to have alcohol at parties?

[sushiforever]

Hello. I literally have no idea if or what the usual thing is here so thought should ask the mumsnet community so I'm prepared when the request arrives...! If your teen wants to throw a party at home for their birthday - what age do you think it's acceptable to allow them to drink?! All feedback welcome

DD is 15 and has been to parties with her age group and they mostly drink (luckily she doesn’t like alcohol lol) the likes of Smirnoff ice, kopparburg, strongbow dark fruits and wkd. Personally i think they should be at least 16 and left school.

Never had parties at my house for DDs when they were teens. In fact, the first was an 18th for family!

I am just debating this myself OP!My dd is nearly 13 and one of 6 and has suggested she should have alchemy at her party in July !Im dead against as I've seen many teenagers come into a&e drunk however my husband not so much!

Alcohol even...not alchemy,although I'd be thrilled at ambitions of being a pharmacist

I never felt comfortable providing alcohol for other kids although I know lots of parents do. My son started with a larger/cider or two when he was 15. Not keen on spirits. Hold off as long as you can I would say.

18, but could drink the odd drink with us or friends parents.
Not at parties though, unless family.
They didn't tend to drink at kids parties though as parents wouldn't allow it anyway.
I'm surprised when I hear that kids as young as 15 do.
It's not the age as mine have had drinks underage, it's the lack of supervision.

My daughter is 15 (16 in a couple of weeks) and I have let her have the odd cider for about the past 12 months. I think it's healthy not to hide alcohol away from teens - if you forbid it, they are more likely to rebel. I'd rather she drink in a controlled environment. She has friends who go to parties and drink when their parents don't allow it, and they're always the ones puking in the loo (and she's the sensible one holding their hair back!)

Never had house parties but a beer at a post rugby sleepover with parents permission from 16 years old. I’ve picked them up along with drunk friends from parties from about 14 years.

Here it’s probably 2nd half of year 11 when most of them are 16 - no spirits though and parents present. They are a sensible bunch and so far no issues

17/18 for parties at mine. I simply wouldn’t have other people’s kids under that age at my house getting smashed. Actually 17/18 I’d be ok with them drinking at parties elsewhere. Anything under that I’d expect them to have to hide it excellently from me (therefore not coming home so drunk they couldn’t hide it) or get an absolute bollocking and punishment for drinking (too much) underage.

I’d be fine with the odd glass of wine with a special meal from 16.

Don't forget if you serve or allow drink at a party for kids, you as parent are responsible for any consequences, one of the reasons we didn't allow it.
I'd have hated parents coming back to me when their dc had been chucking up all night. Maybe having to do a hospital run or two.

I would be there and have rationed alcohol from 15/16. I would make sure that you had let parents know your stance too.

A couple of beers, ciders or alcopops each and keep an eye out to make sure none of them arrive with bottles of spirits or 'pop out' to the shop for more.

A bit more relaxed at 17 but still no spirits

We allowed it here at 16, but I know dd2 attended parties with alcohol long before that. Dd1 never went to parties, life was simpler (asd)

Gave my kid a 16th birthday with my
Husband and I present- we let them have 2 cans of cider, that loosen them up enough to be less discreet with their smuggled in extra drinks... so we were able to confiscate it then, give it back to them when they left the party. Everyone had a great time only 1 puker out of 28 teenagers!

Haven’t had party here but she’s drunk at parties for about a year so just before she was 16. She doesn’t get really drunk though & we talk about it. I would let her this year (17) if she wanted a gathering but it’d be bottles of Smirnoff/beer for boys. She said she only likes vodka!

Thanks everyone

I was out in town with a game ID at 15 I'd never let my children do that though. But I would let then drink at home, a can of vodka and cranberry, Smirnoff ice, wkd, wine and lemonade were all the things my mum let me have from about 13..

I've always been a sensible drinker also, I can get drunk, but I never go overboard and end up endangering myself.

I've been violently drunk once, I couldn't move my arms or legs. Never.again.

At our house 16. We didn’t have many parties at our house though pre aged 16, I was far too worried about drinking/sex! When they were 16+, I loosened up a lot.

But if they were going to parties from 14 and the host parents allowed it, they’d take some low alcohol drink.

I'd also be worried about gatecrashers and gang-related stuff /stabbing etc if you call it a "party" - I'd have a few friends around but not call it a party, be very clear it is invitees only and have enough able-bodied adults to enforce this. If there is clearly going to be no drink, I think that would help.

There was alcohol at all the parties from the middle of year 10 around here (3 kids, large diverse friendship groups, mix of private and state schools). At younger parties, there were often a couple of incidents of one or 2 kids bringing alcohol in. I didn't like it, but that was the reality.

Not everyone drank, but most did. There are a few parents who think this is not what is happening, but they are either quite strict parents whose kids are practised liars, or their kids don't go to parties.

I am just debating this myself OP!My dd is nearly 13 and one of 6 and has suggested she should have alchemy at her party in July

I'm all for relaxed parenting but 12 (nearly 13) seems too young to me

Mine started taking alcohol to parties at 15 (Smirnoff ice, fruit cider etc) they seem fairly sensible about drinking (they were also allowed a drink at home with us at special meals)

The ones at the parties really going wild and over drinking were the kids forbidden touching alcohol that either nicked mixed drink from parents booze cabinet or drank bits of others drinks so were uncontrolled.

I'd rather have a bit of sensible control over what they're consuming.

I have never given under 18s (other than my own) alcohol in my house as my job relies on my having police and working with children checks and I wouldn't risk some pissed off parent making a complaint that could affect that.

Other parents seem to have allowed it from around 16 according to my kids (we are not in the UK). DD is 16 and is just starting to go to parties where there is alcohol. I try and discourage alcopops as they are strong and a bit too yummy but most young people are not quaffing wine at parties 😂 I find 16-18 a really hard age to deal with the alcohol question tbh but I would be really pissed off (as would most people here) if other parents allowed 14 year olds to drink in their homes.

I don’t have kids yet. My Mum let me drink from 14 onwards. I’m 28 now and very rarely drink. My friends who’s parents were much stricter than mine grew up to binge drink WAY more than me and still do.

This is just anecdotal but I do think there is something to it being “forbidden” making it way more appealing to kids which carries on into adulthood.

Never.
Another who’s job previously involved renewal of necessary checks and by allowing this under your watch you are leaving yourself open to issues.

None of my kids drink (age range from young adult to teen). I drink, DH drinks, our friends drink. My personal belief is that developing brains should be exposed to alcohol until 23ish. My kids have enough trust in me that they have taken this on board. I also tell them that I regret my relationship with alcohol and wish I had never started with it. I have never had any cause for my kids to believe it’s a problem (no bad behaviour while drinking, didn’t drink if I had to take them anywhere or there was a chance they would need a lift home etc) however I drank like an absolute fish when at uni and in my youth. I drink too much now and while there are no associated issues in a social sense I don’t think it’s good for my physical health especially once you pass middle age and every calorie takes a mountain of effort to shift. I am open about this with my kids and they all consider it common sense that it’s not beneficial for overall health so they can’t be bothered with it. They have never been ones for peer pressure so that’s never been an issue. They go out with friends, have a few soft drinks then head home. The only problem they experience is people who ask for a lift but don’t want to leave when they are leaving and get pissy about their lift leaving without them.