Help - need to know what is reasonable for teens within the home/ at parties, alcoholwise?

[Wisteria]

We've always allowed our dd (now nearly 14) to have the odd drink at home, no problems with that. We are now entering the 'party' stage and they are all having the odd bottle of WKD etc when they're out and about. I trust my dd, she's very responsible generally but am worried that I allow the correct amount etc.
Part of me thinks I should let them have what they want (within reason) so they learn the hard way - at home where they're safe. But the other part of me is worried for them and I don't want to be the 'easy' mum IYSWIM.
Any thoughts/ advice/ experience?

This weekend I have said she can have an end of term party and want to know what you would allow/ if anything? I don't want to force them out onto the park etc as I don't tolerate that at all.

Have you read whole thread? Other parents have been consulted but I am the only parent in the group to bother and I think I am unusual (apparently)!

You said " I would have expected a phone call or otherwise from parents checking its ok but never received one and have come to the conclusion that although i thought i was laid back it seems other parents are more so "

So did you make it clear on the invite that alcohol would be available-if so then parents have had every orrortunity to discuss it with you and are like you say more laid back than you .

Your obviously being sensible or you wouldn`t be asking on here.

My dd is 14 and tbh her sleepovers are all about make up and dance routines at the mo.

You're lucky FB - wish it were so here!
No invites, they've passed that it seems. My 11 yr old did some for her friends though. I asked them on the phone, I meant I have never had a call like that from other Mums though.

Stop stop stop!!!!! Everyone who thinks it's ok to put 'alcohol will be served' or similar on an invitation, think again . Adult provision of alcohol for underage drinking is illegal fgs!!!! I am currently speaking as a Youth Magistrate (and mum to 3 teens). We can, and do, make rigorous enquiries to establish where teens obtain alcohol if any 'incidents' occur, and so can SS if alerted by A&E. Realistically, if you are providing a meal for them (say pizza etc) then you can provide a limited amount of alcohol on the side without breaking the law. Most importantly, provide food, and lots of it.

i think its bizarre to bow to the peers of your teenager. i think its bizarre to rbing your children up to be good human beings then say " fuck it. It's party time" when thye reach 14.

bizarre

Custy, I'm so with you. 100%.

Wisteria - How did it go?

What about making some non-alcoholic cocktails? They look exotic dressed up with swizzle sticks, straws, paper umbrellas, fruit slices etc. I've had them myself on holiday and had to drive. They look grown up without the risks.
Just a thought: a large punch bowl unattended is a magnet for those wishing to chuck in a bottle of vodka, and a disaster not knowing what has actually been consumed. I'd be inclined to serve the drinks personally like running a bar if there is going to be alcohol.

Think the party has been and gone.

Being nosey, I would have like to hear how it went