What's your limitations on the cost of teen clothes?

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DS14 is currently abroad and has texted me asking for £170 trainers in time for another trip he goes on next month. He has said he will pay towards them, £50.

I'm finding his attitude to clothes quite unpleasant just now. He places so much value on labels. But I don't know if I'm being unreasonable. When I was his age, yes I liked nice clothes, but he thinks nothing of splurging £50 on a tshirt, £85 on a sweatshirt, £40 on shorts. He has used his own money for these things, (well including the £40 per month pocket money I give him), but I've bought him a few things recently too.

I can afford to but him the trainers, well, the £120 part, but I'm starting to find it all a bit vulgar. However, I know as a teen, he wants to be the same as his friends and how important it is to fit it. Although, the way he's spending his money, he'll be all dressed up with nowhere to go! But also, if I couldn't afford this, it just couldn't happen. I'm a little bit disappointed that's he's abroad, with friends, and still thinking about his/my next purchase!!

What are others thoughts on this kind of thing?

My kids aren't teenagers yet so haven't experienced this personally but as a secondary teacher I'd say it is very common for kids just to expect this amount of money spent on clothes. It's shocking on non-uniform day, some of them turn up in ridiculously expensive outfits. A pupil recently asked me to help him to locate his £90 hat which he had left in a classroom.

I guess I'm lucky that my teens think the whole label thing is ridiculous but considering how often dd changes her style I would never spend silly money on clothes or shoes.

It's pretty common unfortunately but doesn't mean you should encourage it. Just because you can afford the £150, doesn't mean you're obliged to.
Of course, if he needs clothes, buy good quality that might be a bit more expensive but you absolutely don't have to spend your hard earned money on crap with a label stuck on it just because he wants it!
If he gets pocket money, he can save it or wait until Christmas/birthdays/special treats for exams etc.

If you willingly hand over the cash without putting up much of a fight, he'll never ever learn the value of money.

Thanks @palebluewalls I imagine you see all sorts! Thankfully he's not too into hats But it seems the standard Nike, Adidas, etc. are no longer really good enough. Even the boxer shorts now are Calvin Kleins. If I thought he'd grow out of it, fair enough, I wouldn't mind too much. But I really don't want him becoming an adult who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. This time last year he seemed quite amused by his friends showing off his £300 trainers on instagram. Now it seems to be what he aspires to. And £300 trainers is never happening on my watch.

I would also hate to think he would be judging anyone who can't afford the same type of stuff he gets, or who simply doesn't want it.

Decide how much you think is reasonable to spend on a pair of trainers then tell him that you will pay that amount towards them. He can either get a pair for the amount you are willing to pay or he can make up the balance himself. (I wouldn't pay more than £50 for a pair of trainers, personally.) Carry that on with any item of clothing he needs and he will either learn to adjust his tastes to suit his budget or save up for items he wants.

This should be coming out of his £40 a month pocket money surely. If it takes him three months to save for them then he might think twice about it. You should pay for essential clothing but not designer trainers he just decides he likes.

I can't remember labels being a thing so much in the 80's when I was a teen. Make up was limited due to cost,Constance Carrol was what we all bought then moved on to Rimmel. Can't remember labelled clothes at all apart from Bennaton and my mum would've laughed if I'd asked for something from there. We did live on a smallish island though so shops were a bit more limited and there wasn't in line shopping.

Ds is a clothes horse and they all seem to wear very expensive labels where we live now. We've come to a loose arrangement where £60 -80 is what we'll give him towards trainers as you can buy a decent pair for that, IF he wants more expensive ones then he uses his own money ( wages, birthday and Xmas money) He happily pays £120 for trainers (gulp!)

Clothes are the same, some of his T-shirts are £40, we will put half towards that if it's well made and will last.

Pants,socks,pajamas, basic T shirts are all from Primark or Supermarket.

He's just discovered ASOS own range and has a couple of sweatshirts so I'm hoping he's moving away from all the expensive labels.

He'll be going to uni this year, unless he has clothes/trainers for Xmas and birthday presents we simply cant afford to buy what he'd like.

It's much better now he's older and is working, it was tricky when he was around 15.

He does need new trainers, as the expensive ones his grab got him for Xmas haven't last well. But yes, I think I will agree an amount on the trainers and he can foot the rest.

His grandad gave him a decent amount of cash for his trip last week and straight away he was texting me asking to buy clothes. (I already had all his euros for the trip) Between that and Xmas, he's spent over £300 since December. Yet I got a box of Roses for Mother's Day 

I can't wait until he can get a part time job @DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen

Ds is a bit limited with what trainers fit him, he is 11.5-12 but narrow and he's tried all sorts but Nike is the best as they come up narrow ( FFS 🙄) if he had a standard foot I think £50 is more than enough tbh.

Ds worked in the summer and I think all his wages went in clothes!

**on

I think it's easier for teenage girls to dress cost effectively than it is for boys. DD is 14 and loves Pretty Little Thing, Missguided, New Look etc. We do buy her good quality more pricey items from time to time, such as trainers (would never spend £170 though! Eeeek!).

D D is 14 and everything has to be Adidas or Nike but she never spends that much ,she somehow find a cheaper versions so they must be around for your son to buy.

@RunAlexRun True, but then I'm always gobsmacked at what some girls spend on make up!

@Ohyesiam Nope, these trainers are brand new out. I doubt I'll find them any cheaper for quite a while.

Also, I guess most girls are still able to buy in junior sizes which keeps the cost of trainers down at least

If he is still growing I wouldn't consider it. I might be persuaded for a fully grown child as their Xmas or birthday present.i only have one teen left now and have not really come across this as my DSes aren't fashion minded and although DD was she also had an inverse snobbery about designer clothes and prided/prides herself on low cost.

There's no need for £170 trainers at age 14. Unless he can find them himself. Can you visit an outlet store to find something similar and cheaper?

Fund*

Op , I mean nike and Adidas do make cheaper clothing. So you can have the right words written on you( if you feel you must) but without the price tags. I guess she’s a little less attached to it than some, but it’s still there.
I do talk to her about how she is being manipulated to line someone else’s pockets, and sometimes refer to items as the emperor’s new Nike’s. She kind of nods but wants this stuff anyway.
Am looking forward to when she’s a bit older and can choose for herself rather than being a sheep.

When I was that age my parents took the approach that they should buy more expensive clothing because it would last longer and I wasn’t going to grow anymore. I still have items that are over ten years old and use them regularly. That said they didn’t buy things that they didn’t think I would wear years later. Do branded sneakers who have definitely been a no from them (and from me for that matter). If your son isn’t wearing grown up clothing yet you shouldn’t be spending ridiculous sums of money on it.

True, but then I'm always gobsmacked at what some girls spend on make up!

Yes! DD (13) spent ₤120 on makeup last week. I let her do it as I wanted her to see how quickly things add up when you're tossing everything you like the look of in your basket , plus it was money she earned from doing chores.

I know she was shocked at the final total, but sometimes it's a valuable lesson to let them pay up and realise how easy it is to overspend.

I'd ask your DS for a larger contribution towards the trainers and see what he decides: maybe you pay the ₤50 and he finds the rest if he really wants them. Or go halves?

OP maybe you should decide what's reasonable and up his allowance to include a clothing allowance he can then top up with his own money. It's worth doing, if only because he will end up in debt, once independent, if he doesn't learn to manage his spending. Also like other posters spending money on certain items worth it more than others, talk to him about that, so maybe slightly more expensive shoes/sneakers/jacket but cheaper t-shirts/trousers as wear out quite fast at that age. Has he stopped growing? If not then expensive anything is going to be hard to justify.

More and more high street stores do ranges for boys/men, have to expand their markets to make money. H&M do decent t-shirts as do Uniqlo, ASOS as others said can be okay, could also take him to TK Maxx as can often get good quality stuff at low prices but he needs to learn how to shop effectively and control costs.

DS1 has Skechers trainers as he has very wide feet and we get these from the retail outlet meaning they cost about £40, he is a size 10.

He is luckily not bothered about clothing. One of his friends has 20 pairs of trainers and is obsessed about brands. We call these people "Joeys" after Joey in Friends wears everything Porche to pretend he owns one

I think £170 on a pair of trainers is ridiculous. He should use his own money to fund the majority of that. If you want to be generous you could loan him the money against his pocket money.

it was money she earned from doing chores

My children don't get paid for doing chores. No-one pays me to do chores and it gives them the opportunity not to do the chores if they are not bothered about the money. Chores are just something you do. A job pays you money.