What's your limitations on the cost of teen clothes?

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DS14 is currently abroad and has texted me asking for £170 trainers in time for another trip he goes on next month. He has said he will pay towards them, £50.

I'm finding his attitude to clothes quite unpleasant just now. He places so much value on labels. But I don't know if I'm being unreasonable. When I was his age, yes I liked nice clothes, but he thinks nothing of splurging £50 on a tshirt, £85 on a sweatshirt, £40 on shorts. He has used his own money for these things, (well including the £40 per month pocket money I give him), but I've bought him a few things recently too.

I can afford to but him the trainers, well, the £120 part, but I'm starting to find it all a bit vulgar. However, I know as a teen, he wants to be the same as his friends and how important it is to fit it. Although, the way he's spending his money, he'll be all dressed up with nowhere to go! But also, if I couldn't afford this, it just couldn't happen. I'm a little bit disappointed that's he's abroad, with friends, and still thinking about his/my next purchase!!

What are others thoughts on this kind of thing?

Also worth noting that the whole labels thing is a bit of a 90’s throw back and will be uncool again in a few years so really not a long term investment even if you think it’s acceptable for 18 year olds to wear sneakers outside of the gym.

He is definitely still growing! Upside is, he's now taller than me, so I can have the odd hoodie he's grown out of Well, the one that is actually consider wearing.

Just say no. Even our expensive running shoes weren't that much fitted with high tech analysis

Agree with Gregory, not dealing with teens right now but most friends' teens more aware of environment and wear second-hand/vintage now, with only a small amount of fast and/or branded fashion. But sneakers outside the gym fairly standard, and very on trend this year, my husband and I wear them and I wear things like Adidas Gazelles with skirts/dresses. But buy classic lines as don't date so quickly.

Also worth checking out ebay, as can be good for some items like jackets. My god-daughter who's very style conscious gets a lot from there, but have to learn which sellers good. There are also a lot of clothing exchange sites and so on...

I gave both my children £60 a month for pocket money. I never bought them any clothes apart from school uniform/shoes. It's amazing how tight they become when it was their own money.

I'm a bit like Diazepam with ds's trainers. He always has Nike becasue he has such a narrow foot however they are always last season's style/colour from Spoirts Direct.

Ds is pretty happy with anything I buy him. He's just had a load of new clothes for a school trip mostly from Primark although dh did treat him to a pair of Nike jogging bottoms for £35.

DD (aged 17) gets an allowance of £10 per week with which she has to but any clothes. I September I bought her everything on her college kit list (dance course) and she buys everything else/replaces worn out items.

When I was a teen my parents wouldn’t buy me any ‘label’ clothing. They could afford it but wouldn’t do it. I worked in a supermarket from 15 and bought my own. It does seem like boys need more labels tho and it’s easier for girls to utilise cheap and fast fashion.

My best friend had a clothing allowance of £80 a month. Maybe you could look at increasing his allowance to an amount you’re happy with and then not buying any clothing or none apart from basics depending on allowance. That would teach him to save and budget.

Tbh this depends on your income doesn't it? If you can afford stone island coats and yeezy trainers fine if you can't then no. I buy what I can afford and I don't expect to be judged either way

Increasing the pocket money and combing it with clothing allowance is something to consider.

Pocket money either gets eaten or worn anyway!

*combining

I've never bought my teenager 'brands', if he wants anything he saves up Christmas and birthday money, he does quite a lot of buying and selling on Depop and seems to manage, he had a paper round at 13 and various other part time jobs. He got a small allowance and had to learn how to budget etc. Has now managed to open 4 separate bank accounts and intending to study economics at Uni .

As others have mentioned, Depop is also excellent for teens. My teenage girls both love vintage clothing and buy and sell quite a lot on there.

@GillianUsedToLiveHere

Well, everyone does things differently and this works for us. Our DC don't get pocket money but can earn cash by doing certain household jobs - we have a spreadsheet listing how much they can earn per chore.
DD has also been pet sitting for neighbours on holiday, hence she was pretty flush last week!

Mine got $50 a month and that paid for everything. I mean everything, phone, clothes, outings, makeup the lot.
Once they got part time jobs the pocket money stopped.
Mine are now very good at budgeting.
DD1 shops at op shops a lot as it is cheaper and she views it as recycling
She is also about to go on an overseas trip with money she has saved.

£170 is steep for a pair of shoes for a child who is still growing. Also why does it matter what his friends are wearing or doing? It genuinely baffles me when parents say "I don't like it but all their friends are doing it..." it just makes me want to scream "So what?!"
As far as the original question goes. I try and keep dds shoes between £50 and £60 she has to wear orthotic insoles so dms and Adidas gazelle trainers work best. I always buy the next size up in sales to keep things affordable but I will buy new boots for school if I absolutely have to outside of this but she wears them for everything as I won't buy "weekend shoes" outside of sale times. Her clothes come from primark, Lucy & yak, new look and Sainsburys she wears a ladies size 10 and all these places provide suitable things. School uniform is from Asda.

It's really difficult for boys if they don't have the 'right' clothing. School is easier for them if they fit in so I'm happy to buy whatever my son needs. We buy his clothes, he uses his birthday/Christmas money to buy computer games etc.

Popular brands we seem to buy lots of are Nike, Adidas, North Face, Superdry, Armani.
We usually spend between £100 and £200 on trainers for our son. He has 2 or 3 pairs. He likes tracksuits which are probably £100 each and then some jeans/chinos. T shirts are usually £20 to £50. Coats usually cost £80-£200. It's expensive but the alternative is them possibly being bullied.

My son would never be negative to anyone who doesn't have these things though.

Also why does it matter what his friends are wearing or doing? It genuinely baffles me when parents say "I don't like it but all their friends are doing it..." it just makes me want to scream "So what?!"

Because for most teens it's about fitting in and being part of the tribe. When they're older they get more of a sense of who they are and more confidence to do their own thing and wear what they like.

It is shocking that children are being bullied for not wearing the ‘right’ brands, makes me thankful it doesn’t happen where we live, I usually think our small, rural town is as dull as ditchwater but maybe it does have some redeeming features.

I remember when I was at secondary school and Head bags were all the rage - the holdall which came in so many colours. Expensive, at the time. I never had one. My school bag, and my older brother's were probably from the market! We were never bought expensive clothes but I don't think there was as much peer pressure at the time. My son is 12 and I've always managed to get away with buying him the cheaper Adidas and Nike stuff - last season I suppose, so cheaper. It's all Under Armour at the moment. But he doesn't seem.that bothered at the moment, like he was in years 5 and 6 so maybe I'll get away with it for a bit longer!

Definitely increase pocket money and make an agreed list of what it is to cover. I did that with both of mine and it dramatically reduced the number of conflicts with DD in particular over things like bags and shoes.

I now only pay for school uniform (on production of the worn out or outgrown item to be replaced - to prove it has not simply been lost!) They pay for everything else from their £20 a week. They both made changes to what they wanted to spend money on once they were paying themselves. Designer trainers now out. Home haircuts are now in

Are they the Nike turbo ones ?! DD and all her friends are obsessed . I paid half and DD had to work for the other half.

Are they the Nike turbo ones ?

They're nice.

I thought it might be the Nike Vapourmax as they seem popular and look really smart.

It needs a proper conversation and some gradual changes if he has been used to getting pretty much what he wants via grandparents Xmas money etc. Maybe start with discussing the trainers at Xmas- how long did he wear them for each week- yet they’ve basically stopped being useful already. How much did they cost? Does he think that’s a good return for his money? These new shoes- will they last? How often will they be worn? What DOES he think is a reasonable amount to spend on clothes? Can he eBay some of his other clothing that could still make some money back? You need to be the conduit between him just getting stuff and not valuing it and him being sensible with money and investing where he feels is right to do.

Thanks for the replies. Lots to think about.

It's the VaporMax Flyknits!

@Firefliess I wish I could do a home haircut! That's another £10 every 3 weeks! Though he paid for it himself this week.