What's your limitations on the cost of teen clothes?

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DS14 is currently abroad and has texted me asking for £170 trainers in time for another trip he goes on next month. He has said he will pay towards them, £50.

I'm finding his attitude to clothes quite unpleasant just now. He places so much value on labels. But I don't know if I'm being unreasonable. When I was his age, yes I liked nice clothes, but he thinks nothing of splurging £50 on a tshirt, £85 on a sweatshirt, £40 on shorts. He has used his own money for these things, (well including the £40 per month pocket money I give him), but I've bought him a few things recently too.

I can afford to but him the trainers, well, the £120 part, but I'm starting to find it all a bit vulgar. However, I know as a teen, he wants to be the same as his friends and how important it is to fit it. Although, the way he's spending his money, he'll be all dressed up with nowhere to go! But also, if I couldn't afford this, it just couldn't happen. I'm a little bit disappointed that's he's abroad, with friends, and still thinking about his/my next purchase!!

What are others thoughts on this kind of thing?

According to DS, Flyknits are supposed to live on for long time periods, and have a lot of give in them for growing feet, if you don't mind the price tag

Having a brand-obsessed teen must be incredibly hard work, but if your DS wants expensive stuff he'll have to learn that things cost money - and earn a least some of it.

I do think it's easier for girls - my two are very into vintage stuff and shop in charity shops a lot. They aren't into makeup either.

I have an agreement with DS1 (15) that I will pay a reasonable price for a pair of trainers ( probably £50-60?) and anything more than that he'll have to contribute. Fortunately his feet have stopped growing - and he looks after his stuff- so trainers last a good while

Clothing- generally he's happy in primark skinny jeans, Adidas joggers and ASOS muscle fit tops. He does like brands such as BOSS and Ralph Lauren, and like the shoes I'll pay a reasonable amount then he adds on the remainder

It's an expensive business being a teenage boy!

I buy almost all of 14yo dd's clothes in Primark. Fortunately she's not bothered about labels. If that changes, she can have the odd expensive item for birthday or Christmas, or save up for things herself. No way on earth would we regularly fork out for expensive brands.

Are they vapour max by any chance the price rings a bell

My Son knows the value of money. He wouldn't dream of asking for £170 trainers. In fact, I had to persuade him to get a better quality pair for PE than the £10 ones he'd picked himself. He isn't bothered by what anyone thinks.

If we had more money, I suppose I might spend more, but I doubt it to be honest, as none of us are materialistic, or dictated to by the fashion industry.

My advice would be to teach him to live within his means, and teach him fast. He has £50 for trainers, so he should buy himself a pair of £50 trainers. How will he learn to manage money with these sorts of expectations?

Growing up I was always happy with clothes from the local market (no Primark back then) but my brother wanted designer.

So what my mum did was to allocate us both the exact same amount of money. I’d get an entire wardrobe of stuff and my brother would get one t-shirt and a jumper.

Update from the make-up obsessed DD.

I mentioned that she needs some new trainers for everyday use and she immediately told me the brand she wants (they're actually slip-ons, but that works for just going out and about rather than sport).

They only cost $50 (₤37). I'm amazed and delighted!

I still buy DS's clothes (he's 19!!) because he can't be bothered.

I usually by more expensive stuff and brands because I remember how important it is to blend in.

Believe it or not when DC say that all of their friends have something often they do. And it can take a lot of confidence to 'pull off' a more independent look.

I don’t really buy the bullying thing. None of mine have had labels apart from the odd Christmas present or TK max find. None of them have been bullied because of it.

DS is 13 and happily scruffs around in unbranded joggers and hoody. Many of his friends are ridiculously labelled up. DS thinks it’s quite funny and a bit daft. He is really popular too.

I don’t think you can affect their place in the pecking order by buying them cooler clothes.

DS wanted vapourmax flyknit trainers costing £170 a while back. We paid about £60 towards them I think and he paid the rest out of Birthday money. We found a 10% off code online somewhere.

I think they look ridiculous and was not keen but thought it was his money and he’d learn a lesson. That said to be fair they are apparently really comfortable, they clean up easily and they are supportive.

Generally though we will contribute around £60ish towards trainers, £25 towards a t shirt, £50 towards jeans, £60ish towards a hoody. Anything more than that he has to pay himself.

The above is for DS15. DS18 pretty much buys most of his clothes himself, although we do sometimes contribute. He told me last week that Calvin Klein is sort of past it now, having typically built up a large collection 🙄 I know he will try to sell his cast offs to DS15!

In fact, DS sometimes wears an old man running brand coat to school (he is a runner) Ron Hill and last week one of the label kids admired it and asked about the brand. Because DS is “cool” they think his clothes are cool. It doesn’t work the other way around.

@AmICrazyorWhat2 Result! At least with your DD you can share the make up and possibly the trainers?

Which reminds me, I must look out his old Converse

I probably give her a budget between between 100 & 300 twice a year for labelled clothes (depending on whether she needs a coat/jacket/jeans/tracksuit bottoms/hoodies). Trainers are bought maybe twice a year and average around the £80-£120 mark. Latest ones are Fila and were £80 I think. She is 14 too. She is quite fussy about some things, but her basics are Primark. I just don't have the funds for much more. Her latest purchase was a hockey stick - had to be Addidas of course. Originally ordered one for £110 which was out of stock, so they offered her an alternative for £130 (originally priced at £200). Things for school tend to need to be labelled e.g. hockey stick, swim gear, backpack lol as they have a full uniform including blazer and hockey gear. For PE they wear their own gear, so this has to be labelled too, but that's what she wears all the time - sporty stuff.

She is price aware so will tend to go mid range and doesn't necessarily need the best (she will calculate - ok, if I get these trainers, I won't be able to afford the hoodie I really wanted etc.). I find when I give her a budget, she is actually a keen shopper herself.

I try to acknowledge that labels are important to her, so she asks for certain items/trainers for Christmas or her birthday for e.g.

I'm quite fussy about clothes too though, so it's not a war I'm willing to wage. I suppose her total spend over a year including footwear/uniform/her own clothing would be £800 max (including what would be spent Christmas & birthday). Not too bad I suppose! Yikes. On the other hand they don't need 'toys' cots/buggies/etc.
Other major spends would be phone/ipad/tech stuff I suppose. Only 4 more years and then she'll be a poor student happy to shop in charity shops I hope haha!

I suppose she's lucky though in that her Grandad/Grandmother and aunt are generous to her. She's PFB grandchild and her only cousins live in the States. My sister doesn't have her own children yet, so treats her to stuff like theater and concerts etc.
She seems to be a magnet for money. She actually managed to come away from her great-grandmother's funeral (yes, I said funeral) with £130 lol.
She's only 14, but I suspect when she's 16 she will want a summer job - she seems fascinated by work (maybe not so much when she has to actually do it though!).

She also plays music and is starting to earn a small income from that. She's actually quite shrewd with money, not terribly greedy at all, but would prefer one good quality item to 5 cheap items. It's just her taste I suppose.

Her latest purchase was a hockey stick - had to be Addidas of course

Yes, he'll likely be needing a new pair of butt ugly football boots soon as well, most likely! The last ones were £150 down to £120 on Black Friday and were for his birthday, but they won't last all year, unfortunately. I wouldn't grudge the money if someone designed a pair that didn't smell like death!

That surprises me. Grays was the brand of choice for most of the kids when ds played hockey for a club.