Custy's brilliant advice to mums of teenagers - well worth a read (hope you don't mind custy)

[mears]

I have copied and pasted this from another thread because I think it is fabulous and i think all mnetters with teenagers should read it. Didn't want to start any further comments to the OP on the original thread

for what its worth i think the "privicy" for teenagers brigage are full of shit ( love you all) but so naive. i check my DDs text messages occasionally. it is after all my job to keep her safe. not so long ago i had a shit fit becuase some guy from bolton was travelling down to see his 14 yr old GF ( my dds friend) and bringing a friend with him.

all this gleened from text messages. without my knowledge my daughter could have gotten into an awfull frightening situation becuase she didn't think it through - that boys don't travel 300 miles to "visit the effing pier dear"

yep. custy's right again.

i am a form tutor to 14 yr old boys at the moment. lots of porn goes moby to moby. And they are all 'nice' boys in my formy, really.

tell them the ugly truth about STI's like she said. My auntie who is a nurse also did so about tatoos to my brother and it kept him from getting one. I would also take him along when you buy the condoms. Yes, it will be embarrassing but they'll get over it.

Aren't teens his age allowed to buy them themselves? I think if you are man enough to screw, you are man / woman enough to buy your own condoms. I have sold them to teens before when i lived abroad and admired them for having the balls to buy them for themselves.

don't underrate making an appt with the gp to have a one to one. your teen can do so without you present - infact, i recommend it that way.

my son will be 14 this year (scared) atm my biggest worry is why he stays in his room all day chewing felt tip pens and lego

LOL astra

I love Custy's advice. It's spot on.

Thanks for that

DS is 12 and so I am hoping to be prepared

So any advice I get I am thankful for it

I absolutely am in unison with Custy
DS is 13 and is snogging and allegedly madly in love. I have been open and frank and respectful and approachable by being his mum and his friend.
I am shit scared of his odyssey but like custy I know I ain't gonna win over true love But I will know he is safe and sensible and he will always be able to tlak to me

my god that brilliant and I recogise some of that stuff that my mom did !!!!

I have an 17 yr old nephew they are all the same yet as rude as he is and a wordly wise as he pretends to be he still hasnt had sex yet and neither have many of his mates

As the mother of two teenage boys I couldn't agree more
I want to know what's wrong with my eldest DS - when I suggested that he was probably too old to go on holiday with us next year, he protested and said he still wants to come. Seriously, why doesn't he want to go to Ayia Napa and get pissed and shag everything that moves like all the other nice boys his age

Sniff - how do you know he has not had sex yet????

Have no teenagers but as always-Custy's advice is spot on-just love it!

Without sounding to "wank"-Custy your advice is always so "real"-and makes me larf

Yes I read it and managed to get to the end. One of the longest I have read TBH and very worth while. Should go on womans hour or something.

Glad others agree

that bought tears to my eyes - well said custy.

My ds is 13 and still a child it seems - although everyone tells me I am dreaming! No girls ..yet....

But I hope hope I can give him this sort of security when he eventually tries the forbidden fruit.

Thanks custy

I shall cut and paste this for 3 years time!

bump

Message withdrawn

agree with you mears, I read it on the other thread and thought the same - brilliant stuff.

My DS's are only 2 and 1 but have read, learned and inwardly digested for future reference!

goodness , i am flattered

That's brill advice - I only hope i remember it in 14 years time! By then we may be accessing mnet telepathically!

to littlemissbossy
They are normal ( I hope) My dd1 is still happy to come on holiday with us despite just finishing her first year at uni ( well we are paying). She hasn't had a boyfriend either , as far as we know . When you read about all these teenager's lives it makes me wonder if she's ok but common sense tells me she IS. However her younger sister, aged 15 is making up for her, being on boyfriend number 2 already and wanting to be more independent by the day. Since number 1 didn't pave the way, we are now on a steep learning curve with number 2 !!

She really does rock!

I have built an altar to her in my house.

Filed this away in my brain for 13 years in the future.

LOL at the bit about peeling potatoes - my mum (who I think did all this - she was a biology teacher so v good on explicit sexual health info) is currently on at me about how important it is to have a house where the children can sit at the kitchen table while you're cooking as that's when they talk to you.

Have been searching for a related discussion to my current little problem but can't find one so am hoping that some mums/dads on here can enlighten me...
My DD is 8 (just turned) and recently I have been able to smell her armpit sweat on her and on her clothes when she has been active and sweaty.
On all my searches on puberty it has come up with breast development being the first sign which can occur between 8-13 years but nothing mentions sweat glands although I thought that it would be a sign of puberty. I haven't had the chance to have a good look at her buds but will have to try and collar her subtley when she's in the bath. Am I misguided? Should I just stop worrying? I didn't start my periods until I was 15 and my mum was the same but DD has been an only child (I am expecting 2nd in Dec)and someone told me that a child brought up with mostly adult company can reach puberty sooner... I am not sure I believe this but could really do with my mind being put at rest.
I am sure the answer is out there among you experienced parents.
Niks