At what age would you leave a teenager overnight?

[Lonecatwithkitten]

I am probably a more lax parent, but am lucky I have a sensible, mostly responsible teenager. But age you would leave overnight is something I am struggling with.
DD as I say is sensible and mostly responsible she can make a meal, run the washing machine, can mostly be relied upon to fed the pets ( definitely if alone). She can travel well on public transport to various locations.
Home is in a 'naice' area down a lane, has electric gates, downstairs burglar alarm that can be on when asleep, village shop and bus stop are 5 mins walk away, she would have 4 cats and a dog for company, I would allow a girlfriend to stay with her, but not her boyfriend ( geographically distant homes so he would be reliant on his mum for transport).
I am considering it for early December DP has his work Xmas do, we would need to stay a single night in London would leave about 3pm be back about midday the next day. We would have a couple of drinks, but are not heavy drinkers. She would be almost 15 in fact if she had been born according to original plan she would be 15 so very close. She happily babysits other people's children. She is trusted at school which is 6months to 18 years and regularly works with reception, nursery and year 1 pupils on drama projects as she is a scholar.
My heart says she will be fine and cope well probably lounging around watching TV and doing homework. I just wonder what others think. I do have 4 months to make alternative arrangements if necessary, but I do believe in gradually creating independence.

16. I was going to leave dd overnight when she was a couple of weeks off 16 but she went to a friend’s instead (whose parents were also away so it worked out). It wasn’t Cos I don’t trust her, more that something might happen and she’d freak out, we’d have to come back etc (we were an hour away). Now she is 16 I would leave her as long as she was ok about it, but only for a night. Plus we have ds aged 14 so wouldn’t leave them together yet.

It depends on the child to a certain extent and how mature they are but for overnights I wouldn't consider it before 16.

You'll know yourself when she's ready. If you're not sure why don't you ask her to arrange to stay with a girlfriend and her parents so you can relax. What are her peers doing? Are they staying home alone?

She sounds more than trustworthy, go and have a great time and make sure to text to check up on her. It seems you have absolutely nothing to worry about

She has been saying she is ready for over a year, up until recently DP and I have lived apart and due to my job I often have to pop out in the night for 20-30mins at a time to check worksite. She hated having au pairs during year 7 so that was the last one.
I did the NSPCC test that agreed she appeared ready.
I will chat with her. Sadly her life with her Dad ( who she no longer has contact with) meant that as young as 8 she had to be the responsible one, something I hated, but the court etc process is slow and reactive not proactive. So she is old for her years which I neither want to take advantage of, but don't want to baby her either.
I am very proud of her mature, responsible attitude.

My gut feeling is that she's probably a year too young to be left overnight.

Sounds silly but I would be more concerned that it's Winter. It gets dark early on and possibly bad weather. Particularly if you are fairly isolated it could be a long night for her.

I would try to find a friend for her to stay with this time and then consider leaving her for a night this time next year when she is closer to 16.

I wouldn't. It's not about trusting her because she sounds really sensible. But she's just a bit too young and if anything happened it would be awful.

If they are sensible, have a history of showing good judgement and know what to do in an emergency... then 16.

I would not leave a 15 year old overnight.

I am an almost 13yo boy and I am quite independent. I stayed at home up to several hours (but I feel ready to stay from morning until evening alone). I know how to use the microwave oven and to cook a simple microwave meal, I live in an apartment at the 7th floor of an apartment block and I lock the door while alone so no burglars, I have a dog (a large one, may be a problem for it needs three walks a day) and I know how to feed it and I know well the public transport. So I feel mostly ready for a night alone (as I said, the dog is a problem)

I have one of a very similar age but he is in a world of his own a lot of the time (very bright but I wouldn't be convinced he'd lock up or remember to feed the cat as he is so easily sidetracked). We have gone out and left him in the evening but come back every time, even if it is really late.

I would see if she could have a sleepover with a friend at theirs and leave it another year or so personally. It's great that she is responsible - it wouldn't be her I would worry about, I just remember when I first lived on my own that if you suddenly hear weird noises in the dead of night or there is a power cut or something happens to one of the animals she might suddenly feel very alone.

You are lucky though (& she is clearly a credit to you), I do have friends who have left kids slightly older & come back to £1000s of damage from the wild parties..

I was left overnight at 15.

Many people will say 16. In fact, I think this is the NSPCCs advice, although I suspect they are probably covering their backs because technically, under-16s remain the parents' responsibility. In other words, if you left her and something bad happened, you could possibly be charged with, for example, neglect.

On the other hand, it is not illegal to leave an under-16 alone and, once they are 16, they can legally leave home and live independently ( DS2 did exactly this). So where some people are saying "16 and just for one night", in reality parents do not have that level of control.

My feeling is that, if she is happy about it, and you trust her, then it would be good experience - both for her and you. But I would discuss the legal aspect with her, and the possible consequences. Make it clear that you trust her because she shows a high level of maturity, and that otherwise you wouldn't.

I wouldn’t consider it under 16, in line with NSPCC advice.

OK sure, the most likely scenario is she would lounge around watching TV and snapchatting. But what if something went wrong?

I think 15 is too young to be entirely responsible for herself, the pets and the house in the event of an urgent problem or emergency.

Like pp, I would arrange a sleepover with a friend or else have an older cousin, auntie or similar to stay.

I have a similar sounding dd1 and I wouldn't leave her unless it was a real emergency and I had no other choice.

DD is on her own this very night. She is 15. She likes a break from us, she is able to cook (or use a phone) and she has friends and neighbours nearby. We've done it before, one night only, and it's been fine. She's had a friend to stay before but not this time. I was worried at first about rave ups but she likes our home and our approval too much! We are only an hour and a half away, visiting her severely autistic brother. She finds seeing him very difficult so we don't force her now.

15 if very local or out late for an evening. 16 if going away somewhere like you are going to London

I was left overnight at 12 or 13 and then for multiple nights at 15. Was never ever a problem. Was always pleased that my parents trusted me and was never willing to ruin their trust.

I wouldn't do it at that age. I think I can sense apprehension in your text and I'd trust that instinct not to do it.

Us 15 year olds are not all irresponsible party holders. Obviously I'm not a parent so I don't have that experience to go on but I would base it more on maturity than age.

Mine are 15 (v nearly 16) and 14. They are being left alone next weekend for one night. The 15 year old has already had two nights alone this summer, she is absolutely more than capable. She has one or two trusted friends who may pop over, but I know she won’t have them sleepover, she doesn’t even let them sleepover when we are home, she likes her private space! However, the younger one I wouldn’t think will be ready to be left alone- without sister- for about eleventy years 😂 Neighbours will be informed and I trust them to contact said Neighbours if there is a problem

This is interesting:

Especially the comments at about 6:50

Food for thought, I think.

leonardthelemming interesting video clip and the comments regarding parenting decisions being taken on the basis of being judged by a society who are very poor at assessing risks, parental paranoia and media influence have been on the forefront of my mind when I read this thread. My 15 year olds are ready, capable and confident, so why do I hesitate - it is certainly not a reflection on them, they can look after themselves perfectly well. And the difference between 15 and 16? My two are summer born Year 11s, some kids in their class are 16 already - they are all expected to have the same levels of maturity at school. I would hope there’s not too much difference between a 15 and 16 year old?

16 absolute minimum. Depending on he child. I didn’t leave mine until they were 17.

And not ‘just a few days under’. They are still just 15.