At what age would you leave a teenager overnight?

[Lonecatwithkitten]

I am probably a more lax parent, but am lucky I have a sensible, mostly responsible teenager. But age you would leave overnight is something I am struggling with.
DD as I say is sensible and mostly responsible she can make a meal, run the washing machine, can mostly be relied upon to fed the pets ( definitely if alone). She can travel well on public transport to various locations.
Home is in a 'naice' area down a lane, has electric gates, downstairs burglar alarm that can be on when asleep, village shop and bus stop are 5 mins walk away, she would have 4 cats and a dog for company, I would allow a girlfriend to stay with her, but not her boyfriend ( geographically distant homes so he would be reliant on his mum for transport).
I am considering it for early December DP has his work Xmas do, we would need to stay a single night in London would leave about 3pm be back about midday the next day. We would have a couple of drinks, but are not heavy drinkers. She would be almost 15 in fact if she had been born according to original plan she would be 15 so very close. She happily babysits other people's children. She is trusted at school which is 6months to 18 years and regularly works with reception, nursery and year 1 pupils on drama projects as she is a scholar.
My heart says she will be fine and cope well probably lounging around watching TV and doing homework. I just wonder what others think. I do have 4 months to make alternative arrangements if necessary, but I do believe in gradually creating independence.

I told DD that she couldn't stay overnight here on her own until she had her license. We live remotely in the bush and I didn't want her stuck here on her own without transport so that meant 17. When she finally got to stay here on her own earlier in the year, she had several school friends over to stay one of whom helped themselves to my bottle of gin.

Would the parents of her 14 / 15 year old girl friend be happy? If mine that age was invited to accompany a lone 14 yo I would just say ‘come to ours overnight ‘.

I think she / they will be fine, and I agree with fostering confidence and independence. But wouldn’t be making a specific effort to create an opportunity at her age when staying over at a friend’s is an option.

I think it depends on the child, my oldest who's sensible 16 although at 14 I will leave her for a few hours throughout the day.

“Independence and being alone are not the same thing.”

This.

We live in a semi, with close friends across the road. My kids’s friends could hear them if they shouted out of a window. (As an example if closeness, not because I imagine emergencies and drama happening). Up a lane, 5 mins walk from a village... young teens get very vivid imaginations in the middle of the night.

My son was 16 when we first left him overnight. We were only a 30 minute drive away, had let our neighbours know, and left him a list of emergency contact numbers. We told him that he could contact us at any time and for any reason. He really loved it. He even emptied and reloaded the dishwasher and did the hoovering!!

Never (!) certainly not before 18.
Teens need you more psychologically and emotionally than the little ones.

I'd probably say towards the end of Y11. So 15.5/16. Depends on the person though.

Depends on child and circumstances. My DH has been seriously ill in hospital recently and my work involves travel. As a result my 15 year old DS was left home alone for 2 nights earlier this year. It's not ideal but he is sensible and we have reliable neighbours.

40

We lived in a detached house as teens. As it happened I was never left alone over night till over 18 as I had younger siblings. When I was I found it creepy to be in a large silent house and became aware of all the creaks etc.

My mother in law in her 70s developed a fear of sleeping alone in her large detached house - prior to that she'd always had family members living with her. It's not just about being trustworthy and responsible (I was).

I also often babysat my siblings from around age 13 till late at night. Pre mobile phone days and I sometimes had no idea when my parents would return. I wasn't always comfortable with that but never said as I didn't want to let my parents down.

13 with a mate, 14 alone

We left our 16 year old on his own this summer for one night. We went camping about an hour away with the younger children - he preferred to stay at home. We have good neighbours who said he could call round if there were any problems (we've done the same with their teenager in the past). He had a couple of friends over in the evening for pizza etc and they went home around 11.
He called me when he had locked up and was going to bed. He was fine and actually really enjoyed the freedom and having the house to himself.
He is very independent though - he's been cooking dinner for the family one night a week for well over a year and is more than capable of looking after himself. As long as your child feels comfortable with it I think it's ok but only you know your child.

I have a 14 year old and whilst he wouldn't mind being home alone, and I'm 99% sure he'd be fine, I just couldn't bring myself to leave him.

I left Ds2 alone overnight at 15.5 after much thought. I trusted him not to do anything stupid. We live in flats so there'd be other people around in event of emergency such as fire etc. And he has friends he could call if he got too lonely.

The main reason I found the decision hard was knowing I'd be judged if anything went wrong.

He hasn't really changed much now he's 16 but I go away with an easier mind because 16 home alone is more accepted.

I remember my friend being left home alone for a weekend at this age, on condition that I stayed with her and my parents were on standby in case of a major issue. We were both sensible and more likely to eat too much chocolate than hit the booze cupboard

14 is way too young for overnight alone and against NSPCC guidelines.

The main reason I found the decision hard was knowing I'd be judged if anything went wrong. And the daft thing is that you could leave a 16 year old who was less mature and that would be fine.

I was shocked recently when an unexpected, and loud, alarm went off in the middle of the night and only our baby woke up - none of our teenagers, including 16 year old. On that basis I’m glad I’ve never left them alone over night - though (when awake) they’re sensible and trustworthy.

I really doubt my almost-16-y-o would wake up for an alarm either. I'd be relying on the dog to rescue him, as well as keep out any hordes of teenagers hellbent on a party. He hates unknown teenagers. Yet I think in most respects DS would be fine. At what age should I leave a small terrier in charge of the household?

Dd stayed alone overnight at 17 for one night

I was left for a week aged 16 while the rest of the family went away (I just didn’t fancy it). It was great, a friend came over to keep me company and we had a lovely week.

Having said that, they also left me alone 8am-4pm from age 11 as my holidays were longer than my siblings. There were never any incidents with that either, though.

Would she know what to do if e.g a pipe burst? This happened to me as a teen and my parents were away for 3 days. It was 11pm and New Year’s Eve. I was a bit older and was with my 14 yr old brother. Water was running down the walls. Probably unlikely to happen, but given that it will be winter, it is possible.

LOL @ 17/18...I’d left home by then!

I would let her IF she wants to. Even if she ‘hears noises’ and feels a bit scared, it’s a rite of passage your first night alone and it’ll happen at 14/15/16. It really makes no odds. But I wouldn’t put her on the spot, I’d say ‘DP and I will be away at his works party in two weeks time, do you want to see if you can stay at ‘friends’ house or shall I see if x can come and stay?’ and let her take the lead of asking if she can’t just stay home on her own.

I'd left home at 17 too. My mum and dad used to leave us and go away for a couple of nights with my sister "in charge". She would have been about 14+ and I was around 10, my other sister 12ish. I think that's ridiculous. Nothing much happened but we did break a few windows fighting and poured ink on the carpet!

Teenager. Not ever. I say this ad a friend who had a very bad experience in this age of social media. They had an older teen (17/18yo from memory) who was very trustworthy. Somehow word got out on social media (not from the kid) that they were alone in the house without parents. Cue people turning up one night. Letting other people in. Before they knew it there were hundreds of teens/young people in the house. Before you know it house seriously destroyed. Because of the background they had problems claiming on insurance, it was as a huge fight, they ended up having insurance cover the majority of damage but were still the equivalent of approx £25,000 out of pocket.

I don’t leave my teens/young adult at home overnight or longer if we are not home. They organise staying elsewhere and do not come me home while we are not there. We do go out of a night for dinner or movies etc and they are home by themselves but not when we are away overnight or on hols. If I thought they would use the house in our absence I would take their keys and change the locks and they know it!