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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

14 year old coming home drunk

9 replies

Mp55 · 22/07/2018 08:50

Pleaseeeee help. My 14 year old daughter asked to stay out, I heard her voice was different (she was drunk) I told her to come home. Very 1st time 😩 I am a single mother of 4 kids. All kids very respectful and caring and brought up in a great environment. Anyway she comes home WITH HER FRIEND and when I tell her friend to go, my daughter went crazy 😳 I’ve never saw her like this before. She opened my door and ran out... we searched all streets and finally found her, she saw me and ran and hid in some bushes... Eventually got her out the bushes and police pulled up.. She had called the police on her 20 minutes travels running about the street... She’s told police she doesn’t want to stay in her home and that I’m abusive towards her. Said I hit her, I call her names 😱😱😱 I don’t do such things. Police took a statement from her friend and I about what happend on the night, and told me to go home. They would run my daughter up. Which they did 5 minutes later. They brought her home and she was calling me for everything. I was absolutely mortified at the name calling... I’m so hurt and confused to why she would say such things... Such a horrible night up making sure she wasn’t going to be sick in her sleep... Do I question her today on why she’s made these accusations or do I leave her and act as though nothings happened. I’m now feeling apprehensive speaking or going near my daughter incase social services come and she says I’ve done/said more to her 😳

OP posts:
Ceebs85 · 22/07/2018 08:55

I'd worry something has happened, or is going on that you don't yet know about.

I'd just ask what happened and ask her to talk about it with you. But I imagine she'll be VERY delicate today

Original poster
Mp55 · 22/07/2018 09:01

I always speak to my 4 kids and make sure nothing is worrying them, they know they can speak to me. I constantly ask my daughter if everything is okay and always check snapchats, etc. She’s a very good girl but last night I saw a totally different person within her. Just out the blue 😢 thanks

OP posts:
sashh · 22/07/2018 09:07

OK first of all she came home. This is huge. Many teenagers drunk for the first time or worried they will be in trouble try to sober up or stay out sitting in the park where they fall asleep.

Start with that. That she did the right thing coming home.

Then ask her what happened.

Then the talk about alcohol. There has been only 1 study on underage drinking, it has been deemed unethical to do more. The one study found that teenagers' bodies react differently, they appear more sober than they are but are actually more drunk.

So she probably had enough alcohol to kill herself. Not saying that to be dramatic, just something to pass on calmly.

Do you drink? If you do you can talk to her about how much and when and who with.

She may well not remember chunks of last night.

Let us know how it went OP

Original poster
Mp55 · 22/07/2018 09:37

I will speak to her when she awakes 😓 I do not drink at all... Tried it when I was younger and it wasn’t for me. Over the last few months she has been saying I don’t trust her the way I should, but I am so worried about the things that can happen in this day and age so yeah I ask her where she’s going, who she’s with etc. And call her on an hourly basis when she’s out. Which isn’t Very often. I’m a mother it’s only natural. I’m a great mother to my 4 kiddies, I’m glad she is okay but I’m frustrated to why she said those things. I cannot stop crying. Out of my 4 she gets way more than the other 3. Because she is that little bit older and needs more. We are going on holiday in 8 days and just don’t want to go no more. The other 3 kids were crying when police came and heard everything their big sister was saying. Police said they see this with teenagers all the time, but this is my 1st and up until now I’ve known how to cope with the huffs and puffs and stuff. Just this incident I have no idea how to deal with it 😕

OP posts:
BackInTime · 23/07/2018 09:13

Flowers for you OP, sounds like a very stressful situation. Did you speak to your DD when she got up?

itchyknees · 23/07/2018 09:16

How horrible and scary for all concerned x

Condragulations · 23/07/2018 09:22

And call her on an hourly basis when she’s out.

There’s no way I would have been ok with that at 14. As a parent I completely understand your anxiety but as a teen this would have driven me up the wall.

saoirse31 · 23/07/2018 14:54

Calling her on an hourly basis is completely over the top. Also, what was the sending her friend home about? Seems a little ungrateful to show her the door instantly having got ur daughter home. How did friend get home?

JustDanceAddict · 23/07/2018 18:38

Calling her on an hourly basis is not right. I have a 14 & 16 yr old ds & dd respectively and have never done this. They do have tracker on their phone which is non-negotiable but I don’t contact them unless they’re due Home and generally use it to see if they’re on their way back. Do you not trust her? I think you need a big chat.

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