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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Lost! Suicidal teen and nowhere to turn....helpful tips or advice

11 replies

Mummytomany78 · 17/05/2018 20:59

I have 14 year old daughter who has been struggling with depression and servere anxiety for about 2 yrs. She has been under camh for the past yr having cbt. This ended after about 18 sessions because the self harm had eased off...i tried to argue she wasn't ready to stop but I'm only her mum what did I know...now 2months down the line my daughter is self harming..crying all the time and now suicidal :-( the school told me they have major concerns about her and have contacted camh...i also called them but no-one has got back to us.i know I can go a&e but for now we are watching her..removed all sharps and tablets although she had cut up before we removed it all....what can we do for someone to listen to how low she feels? How do we help her l?

OP posts:

shadypines · 17/05/2018 22:01

Mummy so sorry to hear this struggle for you and DD. She clearly does still need CAMHs but something more in the short term. If she is suicidal what is your doctor doing? It sounds like she needs immediate psychiatric help if she is a danger to herself.

For immediate help I suggest you ring the out of hours doctors service or dial 999 for advice if she is in immediate danger. You must be at your wits end with worry, you could also try ringing Samaritans and asking their advice or does MIND have a helpline if you feel you could bide some time. Thinking of you xxxxx

winterwonderly · 17/05/2018 22:11

Would she be prepared to talk to someone? I'd highly recommend Samaritans.

JessyJames · 17/05/2018 22:13

If you are concerned for her safety over night, take her to A&E. There should be a duty psychiatrist available.
If you think you can wait until morning speak to your GP practice and get an urgent referral to the CAMHS crisis team.
Had similar with my DS last year. The crisis team were OK, but wanted to discharge him. I refused to let them and he has ended up on medication. We were resistant at first but it has been a godsend. I have my son back.

I hope things improve for your family soon.

StaplesCorner · 17/05/2018 22:25

Hi Mummy - well, synchronicity or just many people going through it, my DD14 has been depressed on and off for about 3 years, then all of sudden she had what I can only describe as an "episode" where she was in her room for 10 days hearing voices and thinking nothing was real. She'd self harmed before but I suspect she's done little things to herself like an accident with the straighteners, "cut her leg shaving" that sort of thing.

I finally took her to a private psychologist earlier this week, nice lady all seemed fine and then the next day DD went into meltdown again and hasn't been back to school this week. Last night I found she'd made herself violently sick in the night (she either binges or starves, this was after a binge) and has rifled the medicine cabinet and I don't know what's missing (and both of these things she vehemently denies - she says I always blame her for everything ...WTAF?!)

She didn't like the private psychologist so now I am taking her to GP tomorrow. I wonder if she will want a psychiatric assessment? DD is desperately sad and scared. She's also likely to give up an amazing work experience placement she's been offered.

So sympathy Mummy - as for ideas, have you been in touch with Young Minds? There's a list of organisations for young people on their website as well; I am wondering if both our DDs would like an on-line or text message service, or am I just clutching at straws ?

shadypines · 17/05/2018 23:02

Thinking of you both, hope you get the help you need. Good advice re Samaritans from Winter

Dotty342kids · 20/05/2018 23:21

Check out www.kooth.com which provides excellent online couselling and support for young people but it's only available in areas where it's been paid for by commissioners. Worth a look....

chocolateworshipper · 22/05/2018 21:13

I've been there. DD took an overdose, was assessed by CAMHS would decided it "wasn't serious enough" and she took another overdose. We paid for a private therapist and were lucky enough that DH's medical insurance paid for a private psychiatrist. It is very common for people, including adults, not to like their psychiatrist at first - I do think it would be worth trying to get your DD to see her again. The GP won't want to prescribe ADs for an under-16, but the psychiatrist can prescribe fluoxetine (tested as safe for under-16s). Keep in contact with the school and ask what they can do to support your DD. Is there anything specific at school that is causing anxiety - and if so, what could the school do to help? One thing that DD's school did that did help was to give her a card that she could show to a teacher at any point where she was feeling anxious and it gave her automatic permission to leave the lesson. There were two adults that she trusted that she could go to when she used the red card.

StaplesCorner · 22/05/2018 22:04

Thank you for sharing your experience chocolate that's really helpful. We have insurance for a private psychiatric assessment (not psychologist) but not on-going treatment - I suppose we could have that done and then refer back to GP for medication?

But DD is adamant she won't go back to that psychologist. Purely by coincidence she is under a major teaching hospital for a health issue and the psychologist there has agreed to see her for free but not for another 5 weeks. Anyway, we went to GP who was kindly and did the CAHMS referral; nothing will come of it I don't think but at least we are "in the system". I think DD might be suicidal too but she is scared to tell anyone other than me, in case they "take her away" .

I also went into school and they said they'd do whatever they could, funnily enough we are in the process of sorting out how she can leave lessons and see the welfare officer if needs be, so I will suggest your card system, that might help a lot of kids to be honest.

I hope your DD is managing better now? I hope mummy can come back to her thread as well. And also thanks to Dotty that was just the sort of thing I was looking for (my DD said Young Minds website was boring !)

minimatt78 · 23/05/2018 23:25

I found that (depending on the child) you talking to them and not the other way around really helps and makes them feel loved. Try to start a conversation with her alone in her room and just see how it goes (really help my DS).

StaplesCorner · 24/05/2018 16:16

minimatt I am glad that worked for your son and I am assuming you meant well but parents on this thread are talking about children who are suicidal. Do you seriously think we haven't talked to our children?

Nb65988 · 26/05/2018 13:20

You poor thing take her to a&e she needs. mental health evaluation to see if she needs to be possibly sectioned don't panic it's probably the best thing for her as she gets medication that will work quickly and she gets the treatment she needs she has severe MH problem why is she wif cahms she should be in the card of a u phyc as this is serious condition that needs urgent help shed cutting herself to ease the pain plz take her to get evaluated and don't leave till they do no offense she could end up in a bad way before cahms fone u back with an appointment make sure there is nothingshe can hang herself with that's usually what they try next x

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