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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Young teen girls and dressing older

21 replies

LucheroTena · 10/05/2018 20:39

DD is 13 but wants to look 20. Keeps showing me pics of various girls her age at parties in sky scraper heels, short skits etc.

I bought her some medium wedges today and given advice on not having everything on show at once. Don’t want to end up being one of those “you’re not going out in that” mums but...

How bothered were you by what your younger teens wanted to wear? How best to impart advice without body shaming or being a nagging disapprover?

OP posts:

Kathy84 · 10/05/2018 22:57

What's a 'medium wedge'?

Titsywoo · 10/05/2018 23:01

Well to be honest I let my teen wear what she likes. Sometimes it's hotpants but mainly it's black hoodies and ripped jeans. I don't know of anyone her age wearing the sort of clothes you describe though. I would advise against wearing the heels because dd would probably fall over and break her ankle . I doubt I'd say anything about "having too much on show" though. I think that is giving the wrong message.

Original poster

LucheroTena · 11/05/2018 07:58

Sorry meant medium height 3 inch wedges as opposed to 6 inch jobs.

Fair enough, I’ll let her wear what she wants. I just think shoulders, boobs and legs all out looks generally awful. She normally wears jeans and t shirts or hoodies (the staple teen uniform) but they are going all out for disco type parties.

OP posts:

specialsubject · 11/05/2018 10:01

its a mad world when a staggering 3 inch heel is medium...

hemline and neckline touching is a classic teen thing. they also know that thick makeup adds a decade to everyone.

as long as it isnt to school, a funeral etc let her go out looking a joke.

Original poster

LucheroTena · 11/05/2018 14:04

She doesn’t look a joke though special just really glamorous and a lot older than she is. She has good self esteem and nice friends so should be fine but it does make me sad to see them all looking so much older and less comfortable than they look in their school uniforms.

OP posts:

specialsubject · 11/05/2018 21:39

staggering heels are a joke. makeup does add a decade. fine if you are a teen wanting to get into a dodgy bar of course.

it is sad that females wear crap clothes but maybe she will learn.

Racecardriver · 11/05/2018 21:43

But they aren't actually dressing older though are they? The only 20 year old who I knew that dress like that are the unfashionablr ones. It's all about the wide legs cropped trousers and platform brouges.

froglou · 11/05/2018 21:51

I think you're doing well to embrace it, I think it's really positive. From experience as a young woman, if you stop her dressing how she wants, she'll most likely do it in secret. I had a friend at school wasn't allowed to wear make up or wear what she liked, guess what, she'd get out and change her clothes and put on lippy!
I'm not saying go out and buy her mini skirts and high heels, but try and compromise (as you've done!) rather than stopping her :)

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 11/05/2018 21:59

Imagine a girl having shoulders and legs! what had the world come to.

(Also suspect she doesn’t actually have her breasts “out”)

gustofwindd · 11/05/2018 22:06

I don't know why this is seen as such a negative thing. OP never said her daughter puts layers of makeup on for a start and teaching her that her body is something to be a ashamed of and hidden away will lead to more problems in the future than a bit of cleavage

KnownUnknowns · 12/05/2018 08:53

I don't like my dd(15) wearing clothes that are too revealing, I don't lay down the law as such...she thinks I have good taste, likes to ask my advice.

Menime · 12/05/2018 22:14

its a mad world when a staggering 3 inch heel is medium...

How are 3-inch heels "staggering"?

specialsubject · 12/05/2018 22:56

because they produce the arse out duck walk. that is a horrible high heel, although not any more it seems. happily i have enough shoes to last a lifetime as usable ones have been outlawed.

same as the silly cow of a fashion correspondent i read who whines that an 8cm heel is flat.

no it isnt.

sorry - didnt get the memo that females must twist their feet into stupid shoes.

Menime · 12/05/2018 23:14

sorry - didnt get the memo that females must twist their feet into stupid shoes.

Well, I never said they had to, did I? I just don't think 3-inches are "staggering", maybe 5/6 inch. That was all, maybe they are staggering for you.

KnownUnknowns · 13/05/2018 15:37

I think 3inches are staggering too.

Isadora2007 · 13/05/2018 15:40

Honestly it’s just a quite normal phase and it’s up to her to navigate this stage of her life. The more you try to dictate to her what she wears the more likely she will rebel.
I found through both ds and dd who are now 21 and 18 that the girls wanted to “look older” age 13/14 but by 16 were back to normal. Only trying to look 18 if they wanted alcohol!
So chill.

Headupshouldersback · 15/05/2018 10:42

I have a 15 yr old DD.
She loves fashion, make up and fake nails and is desperate to dye her hair etc
I allow her to wear make up and she can wear fake nails during the holidays.
I work in fashion and have bought her trendy things for the last couple of years but I will not let her wear short skirts or heels or boob tubes etc. There’s plenty of time for all that.
From my experience as a teen the ones who were in a hurry to grow up too quickly were in a hurry to do all the other things associated with being grown up too.
Where’s the rush?

superwoker · 16/05/2018 15:51

@headsup A lot of my friend's parents took this approach at your DD's age. Just to let you know that if she wants to have sex she will, short skirt or not. You're probably doing more harm than good

Nb65988 · 26/05/2018 14:26

I agree with what ure saying when u're older u wouldn't go out with everything on show tell her she can pick what she wants but if she picks something and ure not comfortable share it with her she myt not pick it but tell her to start her own style not everyone else's but make sure they are getting a lift there and back it can be tricky cause they can attract older attention but they don't realise that make sure you explain that to her x

AlwaysPondering · 26/05/2018 14:37

It's the attention from older men I don't like about it.

I remember it myself. But tbh I didn't really dress like that so I guess it really makes no difference.

froglou · 05/06/2018 07:28

@Headupshouldersback out of interest what's wrong with boob tubes?

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