Do i let my nearly 16 yr old take 1 beer to a party - there’s history

[Giantvalueshrimps]

He’s asking to take one beer. We have said no. Less than a year ago when nearly 15 he drank for the first time (that we know of) a bottle of spirits in his room, collapsed and ended up being rushed to hospital, put in sn induced coma, ventilated and spent the night in ICU. We didn’t know he had drank so sat beside him waiting on tests thinking he might die.

Husband is adamant no, i think if we keep saying a blanket no when most of his friends will at least have a beer could lead to more problems.

I don’t know what’s the best thing - I don’t want him drinking but am trying to be realistic and manage it. Does anyone let their teenager (nearly 16 - have a beer?) Any opinions welcome.

What about where he's going? Will they have booze? Would they be happy for him to take it?

Surely that had an effect on him? Have you discussed it? How does he feel about alcohol now?

Like it or not alcohol will be part if his life from here on. Even if he doesn't drink people around him will. He's clearly felt the result of excess, hopefully he'll not want to feel.that again. If so perhaps it is time to let him start again with more knowledge and support from his parents (sounding board - Mum x drank too much. Dad y tried to make me drink when I didn't want to etc).

Obviously very different if he came out of that thinking he was untouchable!

Yes we did (dd now 16), but only with us. She hasn't been invited to any house parties so far. DS is now 18, but he has been taking 1 then 2 bottles of beer to a party since he started lower sixth. He has never overindulged. We said no to taking alcohol to parties in year 11( nor drinking other people's) but allowed him to drink small quantities at home with us.

I would possibly say yes to one beer, if you think he will stick to that and earn your trust back

He's old enough to buy a pint if he really wants to. If he feels like he has to hide it things won't go well

Ugh that sounded like I meant you weren't supportive before, that's not what I meant at all, sorry. More support as in additional, extra given the past.

The parties my 15 year old goes to all have beer / cider.

Hopefully he will have learnt from before - I would sit down with him and have a serious talk but let him take the beer.

Oh gosh, when I was 15 parties often included neat spirits 🤢🤢 in one particularly embarrassing incident my hapless mother had to take me to a&e to get stitches in my leg where I was paralytic and fell through a door frame. She put the fear of god in me after that but it wasn't necessary, the experience of being that drunk was enough to ensure I stuck to my limits.

You may find that after your sons previous incident has indeed put him off. He will most likely drink though whether he takes a beer for himself or not, I would let him do it and make sure he feels comfortable enough to ring you in the event that he does have too much to drink and feels poorly, rather than being too afraid of your reaction.

Amazed all these kids are drinking alcohol at 15 and 16.

Really shocked Giant by your story, must have been awful for you.

Did you have a discussion afterwards? Whatever the perceived benefits of alcohol, at the end of the day it is worth remembering alchol is both a drug (addictive) and a poison (hence hangovers). Its not cherryade.

Yes, we had that discussion and i did give him a bottle of beer for the party which I wasn’t happy with at all. No parent should be giving 15 and 16 yr olds alcohol to take to parties - how did we get to this? As it turns out an ambulance and police turned up whrn one kid took ill/collapsed - think they had drank whilst taking prescribed medication and was in a bad way. Found out no adults were present and whole year had been invited. My mind is boggled.

We buy our 17 year old a couple of ciders to take to a party. I'd rather that than he drinks spirits which they all seem to. He will be able to buy his own in six months time, better to have introduced him to it gradually.

God I was in nyt club at that age and why just 1 beet it's up to u but it's 1 beet and he probs get it off someone else

I probably would with a big lecture about not drinking too much and this is a chance to prove he can drink sensibly.
I'd make sure it was a relatively low alcohol beer too, not zero alcohol one but the stubbies are often only around 2.8%.