Leaving kids for 5 nights ....is it ok?

[Cozmo79]

Just wanted to ask what people thought at the thought of leaving kids by them selfs for 5 nights, I have an 18 year old son a 16 year old daughter and a soon to be 13 year old they are all very mature for their age ( especially the 13 year old ) me and my partner was looking to go away for my birthday involving a 5 night stay to Spain, I know my kids are mature enough to look after them selfs I was just wondering what other people's view on it was ..... They will also have a contact close by in case of an emergency !!!!!

I do think sometimes you just have to suck it up. You're a parent, take the littlest/all of them away on holiday/arrange them to be looked after or don't go.
In a few more years you'll be able to go on lots of holidays without them if you want but a 12yo is still little.
It's not life and death. It's not an emergency. You just want a child free holiday which is fine but make proper arrangements.

I have an 18 year old and a 14 year old and they are so sensible and mature but I still wouldn't leave the 18 year old to be responsible for the 14 year old. What if he fell and broke his arm or came off his bike?
That is what has stopped me doing it.

Me and my DSis were left for 2 weeks at 17 and 15. This was 30 years ago so no mobiles etc. We survived, managed to take the cat to the vet by strapping the basket onto the back of a bike, went to the supermarket on our bikes, and had a party without the house being trashed. They'll be fine.

You just want people's views on something you've already decided you're going to do regardless?

Okay then, well I think it will depend a bit on the circumstances. If you and your DH (or sister or DM or whoever), are going away because one of you has had a really hard year and deserves a break, then people are likely to try to understand why you'd leave a 12-year-old for 5 days with no adults and no one checking on them. I don't think many will have a problem with leaving the older ones. There will be people though who still think that this DC is too young to be left and question your judgement.

If, however, you're going away to shag your new bloke for 5 days while leaving them home alone then I think the vast majority of people will judge you for that. They might not say it to your face, but among themselves I think most people will think it's unacceptable.

Apologies if you've already said but is this in school time or school holidays?
What if the teacher needs to speak to you about your 12 year old or he needs to go home sick from school? The 18 year old can't go and speak to the teacher on your behalf!

I don't think it's ok because it's too long, doesn't matter whom you are going away with and why: DM after difficult year or DH, or alone

My parents let my siblings take me camping for 5 days when I was 12 and they were 17 18 20. It was glorious.

If your 13 yo has to look after the older ones then no, because you clearly haven’t raised the 18/16 yo properly.

And I hate to judge (but this is Mumsnet so I will anyway ) but you want a child free break with what I assume isn't the kids dad? I honestly don't think that's quite cricket to be honest. Not at your two youngest ages

How will you be able to relax?

Just to add - when I say not the kids dad, I'm not judging on that! It seems like you've got a new partner and want to do all the fun stuff with him at the possible expense of your still quite young kids (excepting the 18 year old)

I was left at 18 and was fine, but it was just me. At 18 you are an adult so it’s not a case of ‘no adults’ being in the house. I would say it so depends on circumstances and if the 18 year old is responsible enough to deal with any issues that arise with the 12 & 16 year old. Are there any trusted older adults to pop in, what if there’s an issue with the house? Water leak etc? They would need a list of emergency numbers to call such as British Gas for leaks, plumbers etc. What would the logistics be for getting to school/college?

I think going camping with an 18 and 20who are aware they are taking you somewhere, and you're aware they are in charge, is very different from being left at home with an 18yo who might think the nearly 13 year old is OK fending for themselves.

I haven't read all the thread but I had a frantic text off a neighbour last year, who was abroad, saying her house was full of kids & could I ask them to leave...

Lots of very unhappy 16yo kids as I did so.

Didn't know her well, her kid was very embarrassed & it could have ended very badly as loads of people had turned up to the party, more than those invited, so whilst he had hidden the valuables, I think it had snowballed.

My parents left us for 3 weeks when my sister was 19, I was 17 and my younger brother was 14.

It was grand, my brother was the most sensible out the lot of us, and despite all our mates camping down in our living room 24/7, they all chipped in to help with his GCSE coursework. Happy days.

It's 5 days, go and enjoy yourself!

'They are not like that' famous last words! I couldn't relax for 5 nights and would be constantly texting for updates. It'll be party central no doubt about it!

No I don't think a 12 year old should be left. Being responsible teenagers doesn't make the older two grown up or used to taking sole responsibility for a younger sibling. Of course it could be absolutely fine but you just don't know what might happen. When I was 19 and my brother 17 nearly 18, my parents went abroad for 2 weeks but took our 14 year old sister with them. For one thing it was her holiday too. I'm sure we could have looked after her but I'm not sure she would have been happy about them being away.

But if you've made up your mind and are sure it's fine, why have you posted? It's not us you need to convince.