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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Leaving kids for 5 nights ....is it ok?

91 replies

Cozmo79 · 06/05/2018 07:03

Just wanted to ask what people thought at the thought of leaving kids by them selfs for 5 nights, I have an 18 year old son a 16 year old daughter and a soon to be 13 year old they are all very mature for their age ( especially the 13 year old ) me and my partner was looking to go away for my birthday involving a 5 night stay to Spain, I know my kids are mature enough to look after them selfs I was just wondering what other people's view on it was ..... They will also have a contact close by in case of an emergency !!!!!

OP posts:

joystir59 · 06/05/2018 07:27

My sil left her 3 teenagers home alone. No issues apart from the 16 yr old went through the fully stocked freezer and threw out most of the frozen food because it was past the use by date.

Original poster

Cozmo79 · 06/05/2018 07:28

Oh heck joy 😔 I know my kids won't do that they are very good kids with friends I'm very close to

OP posts:

Original poster

Cozmo79 · 06/05/2018 07:29

I have Chris just a bit worried and wanted to know what other people thought

OP posts:

Arriettyborrower · 06/05/2018 07:30

I left my 18&16 year old ds’s for 10 days. My mum freaked out and thought the house would be razed to the ground and the boys feral by my return but I knew they’re be fine - and they were, absolutely fine.

They both carried on eating and going to school and their part time jobs, no parties, the house was spotless and my ex popped in regularly and was available should they need anyone/thing.

It was fine, you know your kids and what would be ok. Have a fabulous time!

LostInTheColonies · 06/05/2018 07:30

Dsis & I were left for 3.5 weeks at 16 & 17. We went to school, went to work, walked the dogs & drank all the advocat (sp) in the cupboard. The last is unforgivable... House didn't burn down. Was also left with much younger brother when maybe 19. I dyed all his school uniform shirts & underpants pink 🤣

Arriettyborrower · 06/05/2018 07:31

They’d not they’re!

Original poster

Cozmo79 · 06/05/2018 07:33

That's the thing Arrietty if I didn't think they was responsible enough I wouldn't even think about it, I have raised them right and they know right from wrong 😁

OP posts:

Original poster

Cozmo79 · 06/05/2018 07:34

Haha lost we don't have any alcohol in the house (tee totals) and they won t need to do any washing

OP posts:

Wdigin2this · 06/05/2018 07:39

I'd leave the 18 & 16 year olds, but maybe find a friend/relative for the 13 year old to stay with.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 06/05/2018 07:40

You’ve already decided so not sure what the point of this is other than to drum home the point that they’re good kids thanks to you having “raised them right”. Well done.

juneau · 06/05/2018 07:40

I wouldn't leave a 12-year-old for 5 days with two older siblings who will most likely be doing their own thing. The other two sound fine from your description and it's your house to leave at their mercy. But since you've already decided you're going to do it I'm not sure why you've posted this.

Dragongirl10 · 06/05/2018 07:43

Well op, at 16 and 18 he/she is an adult who could be living alone and in full time work, and/ or married with Dcs....so not even a question really.

If the 13 yr old is sensible then there should be no issue there either.

Mine are 10 and 12 and l could honestly trust them to behave sensibly NOW without me there (although of course they are too young to be left for more than a hour or so)

Shocked by how many posters cannot trust their almost grown up Dcs!

Notasunnybunny · 06/05/2018 07:44

I would, my ds13 would be absolutely fine (even without the siblings ) , the other two could live alone anyway, its great life experience for all of them. You know your kids best. As you say it’s 5 days not 5 Months, the world won’t collapse if a little too much pizza is eaten, the bathroom doesn’t get cleaned and bed time is a bit flexible for 5 days. In the extremely unlikely event someone severs a finger you could fly home early, you aren’t planning a trip to the moon I’m assuming?

Arriettyborrower · 06/05/2018 07:44

I reckon as parents we have a responsibility to encourage and facilitate their independence - this is a perfect opportunity 😉
In all seriousness though, I do believe that and I totally trusted my boys, and they respected me enough to understand not to break that trust by doing anything silly - plus they have never been like that anyway, bought up proper n all!

My mum thought I was incredibly selfish, only thinking about myself, that I had no need for a holiday and that they’d put a message on fb, eleventy billion people would descend from all corners of the earth and that they would be left to deal with it all........

In actual fact I’d been working FT with 4 kids, (2 v little ones) partner working in different country for 2+ years, had PND and had opportunity of sunny break away (with the 2 little ones so not a relaxing hols!) in term time of big boys exam years otherwise they absolutely would’ve come. Talked at length with the big ones about it and they were totally supportive of us going as they knew that things had been hard at times.

On reflection all my mum was worried about was having to get involved if there was a problem - she didn’t want the responsibility. The irony was she never had any - my ex was more than happy to be the responsible adult!

Sorry but of a rant there!!

user1487194234 · 06/05/2018 07:47

I wouldn't
Because I know mine would have a party

Arriettyborrower · 06/05/2018 07:47

And yes - agree with above posters at 18&16 they can ‘adult’ in many ways!
I’d also have no concerns about leaving a sensible 13 yro with older siblings.

Original poster

Cozmo79 · 06/05/2018 07:49

If you read the bit at the beginning June it says I would like people's views on it that's why I posted it 🤔

OP posts:

Tinkie25 · 06/05/2018 07:49

You know your children.

I often left my late teen ds looking after his younger sibling. They were sensible and we never had an issue. As long as the older ones don’t mind, I’d do it.

fruitcider · 06/05/2018 07:50

NSPCC advise not to leave 16 year olds alone overnight. I would listen to the advice.

Original poster

Cozmo79 · 06/05/2018 07:50

Thanks you Arrietty she's the one who's talking about cleaning the house for me and stuff already 🤣

OP posts:

Original poster

Cozmo79 · 06/05/2018 07:51

There's always 1 isn't there 🙄

OP posts:

Battleax · 06/05/2018 07:52

My concern wouldn’t be about them being responsible, but about how the 18 year old would feel of something went wrong with the 13 year old.

Original poster

Cozmo79 · 06/05/2018 07:52

They don't tinkle they are absolutely fine with it

OP posts:

LynetteScavo · 06/05/2018 07:54

I wouldn't.

My concern would be that if anything did happen the 18yo would be held responsible....I wouldn't want to put that on my 18yo's head. I'm imagining the worst case scenario though...things which are highly unlikely to happen.

My D.C. are roughly the same age...my concerns would be the younger two fighting. Staying up all night. Accessing unsuitable films/games. One of them injuring themselves and needing minor first aid. My 15yo was very worried about a graze on his arm yesterday. He needed my reassurance and as I'm a trained first aider I was to deal with it, and convince him he didn't need a doctor. I think teenagers need adults around a lot more than we realise.

GlitteryFluff · 06/05/2018 07:54

I wouldn't leave a 12 year old for 5 five days whilst I was out of the country.
Older ones fine, as others have said they could have moved out etc at those ages. But a 12 year old is too young imo. Not even a teenager yet!

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