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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Leaving kids for 5 nights ....is it ok?

91 replies

Cozmo79 · 06/05/2018 07:03

Just wanted to ask what people thought at the thought of leaving kids by them selfs for 5 nights, I have an 18 year old son a 16 year old daughter and a soon to be 13 year old they are all very mature for their age ( especially the 13 year old ) me and my partner was looking to go away for my birthday involving a 5 night stay to Spain, I know my kids are mature enough to look after them selfs I was just wondering what other people's view on it was ..... They will also have a contact close by in case of an emergency !!!!!

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 06/05/2018 07:55

If I asked my kids they'd definitely say they were fine with it. He'll, they'd probably help me pack my bags Grin

40isnew50 · 06/05/2018 07:56

If you are happy to go and know you won't spoil the holiday by fretting about the kids the whole time then go and have a great time! I have a 12 year old DD and 7 year old DS and occasionally leave them to nip out for petrol or a loaf at the shop a few mins up the road. Obviously they are too young to be left any longer than that but they are both sensible and know how to deal with any emergency even during the 10-15 mins I am gone. Have a great time!

Bobbybobbins · 06/05/2018 07:57

I would say this is ok - you know your kids! As pp have said, the 16 and 18 year old could be living on their own by now anyway!

However I would ask a friend to check in on them regularly.

somewhereovertherain · 06/05/2018 07:57

We left our 15/16 y/o dds no issues only minor one was grandma came to often think they saw more of her than us during the week. I’d have no issue in your situation

Battleax · 06/05/2018 07:58

Is there no scope to leave the older two and either take the younger one or make alternative arrangements for them?

BigSandyBalls2015 · 06/05/2018 07:59

They sound sensible so I would def do this. Wouldn't do it with my own teens as one of them is a bit immature and would def let everyone know she was home alone and wonder why the place got trashed.

BigGreenOlives · 06/05/2018 07:59

I wouldn’t as the 12 year old might end up lonely if the others go out a lot. Doesn’t she want to talk to you about her day normally? Who is she going to off load stuff to? Can’t she go and stay at a friend’s or a grandparents? What happens if the 16 yr old doesn’t get up to go to school? Is the 12 yr old going to feel responsible for them? You’ve already said she’s mature & most likely to cook. I have had 3 teens and I tried not to make them have to grow up too fast - you are an adult for a long time.

shushpenfold · 06/05/2018 08:00

I would with mine (17,15,13) as they’re all far more sensible than I ever was or still am!

ScrubTheDecks · 06/05/2018 08:03

No way would I do this.
Not for 5 nights with a 12 year old involved.

reallybadidea · 06/05/2018 08:07

I have children the same age who are also very mature, sensible and have 'raised right'. I'd obviously have no problem with leaving the older two but wouldn't consider leaving a 12 year old for that long. I'm sure he'd be physically safe but I'd worry about him staying up ridiculously late, spending too long on his X box and not having any parental/adult input for that length of time. I think it's fine in the sense that they'd survive but I think it's pretty shabby parenting. Sorry.

ScrubTheDecks · 06/05/2018 08:09

Will they all have finished their exams? Are the 16 and 18 yo doing GCSE and A levels?

junebirthdaygirl · 06/05/2018 08:11

Around here things have happened in quite a few situations when parents were away. Extremely serious in 2 homes. These were all regular kids. One of the less serious is friends coming around knowing parents were away with drink. All got out of hand and the dps office was thrashed including important files. You know your well brought up kids but their friends may not have such wonderful parents.
I would definitely put an embargo on sleep overs as l would not like my 16s to go to an unsupervised house on a sleepover and you would be one of my nightmare friends moms to allow it to happen.
Most probably they will be fine but you will never forgive yourself if anything happens. In the two very serious situations here all we heard constantly was.." the parents were away..they went off and left them on their own" l would do one night in a hotel thats all.

SpicyTomatos · 06/05/2018 08:11

I would just ask them to not tell anyone and keep it a secret. I learnt that when my parents used to go away when I was kid.

greenlynx · 06/05/2018 08:14

I think it's bad idea, because 5 nights are too long. It doesn't matter how good they are or how responsible. I would leave rhem for one night but 5 nights are nearly a week and you are going away out of the country, so no, I don't think it's a good plan. Also is it really necessary?

celtiethree · 06/05/2018 08:16

I have DC similar ages, I would if they were all ok with the plan. My 18 year old would have no problem looking after the youngest.

BrutusMcDogface · 06/05/2018 08:18

I was very sensible as a child and teen. Very trustworthy. My parents left me alone for the weekend when I got my gcse results; had a big party and the place got trashed. I'm not saying that would happen, but teenagers are impulsive, they lack life experience, and putting a 12 year old under the care of her older siblings for 5 whole days is too much, in my opinion. Would you be able to relax properly? I know I wouldn't.

Foodylicious · 06/05/2018 08:18

Sounds like you have already made your mind up so not sure why you asked?
But of a steathboast about how amazing and mature your kids are??

ellsbells2 · 06/05/2018 08:19

I wouldn't. Not unless there was family very close by.

Foodylicious · 06/05/2018 08:20

If you were concerned though, could the 12 yr old stay with a friend?

pinkhorse · 06/05/2018 08:24

No way would I leave the 12 year old to go out of the country Hmm

LegallyBronde · 06/05/2018 08:27

I would OP. I was left to look after my sister's 12/14 when I was 17 for a week. They behaved beautifully and we had good fun. Parents left us plenty of treat money and we spent a LOT of time eating pizza and watching movies.

Scrabbler3 · 06/05/2018 08:28

If the 18 year old is genuinely comfortable about being in charge of DC3, yes.

I'd also implement a "no overnight visitors" rule.

WhoKnowsWhereTheW1neGoes · 06/05/2018 08:32

No way for me either, 16 and 18 maybe, but not 12.

RolyPolyLilBatFaceGirl · 06/05/2018 08:55

The 18 year old, yes - with regular contact

The others? No. I'm also quite shocked you're leaving a 12 year old. That's still quite little and I don't think an 18 year old should be in a parenting role for five nights. An over nighter, yeah fine. You going away on a five night break? Absolutely not

moomoogalicious · 06/05/2018 09:02

NSPCC advise not to leave 16 year olds alone overnight. I would listen to the advice

Really? 16 year olds who can leave home right?

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