Girlfriend staying the night?

[JellySlice]

17yo ds has asked if his gf can stay the night. They've been a couple for about 4 months. My instinct is to say yes (but keep the noise down). Dh is struggling with it. He admits that it's a further growing-up step that he wasn't ready for.

He asks, what about the gf, is it up to us to decide for her? What about how her parents might feel about this? We don't know her parents, have just met briefly, on the odd occasions when they picked her up from us. She's the same age as ds.

I'm laughing and horrified in equal measures.
If they're having sex I'm sure they will work out any issues for themselves.

Lube!!?? Ffs! When I was a randy 17 year old I had NO NEED for lube. condoms are a good idea because I was so shy about buying them as a teenager/young adult.

Plus, how do you know they'd be having sex for the first time? Doubtful imo.

Oh and in answer to your question, can't advise really as my kids are young but like I said, they'll be doing it anyway, so might as well be in the comfort of his own bed! I think it's a good idea to ask her for her mum's phone number to check.

What if both Mums buy lube?

Can’t say lube was needed when I was 17 but I can say, if I found out my partners mum had provided it I would have run scared. As PPs have said these needs will be worked out between the couple themselves. Condoms different issue obviously.

I should add the request for lube came from a 21 year old.

Jesus Christ.

I would have thought there’d be a fairly standard opinion in the world that parents don’t buy their children lube...

@OP, there’s a thread running at the moment about a 17 year old who shagged his ex and got her pregnant because he doesn’t like condoms so yeah, as long as you’re all prepared for the potential fall-out...

21 year olds are quite capable of buying their own lube I would have hoped.

Of course he was capable of buying lube himself, when you shout up the stairs if anyone wants anything from Tesco and a voice calls back 'lube' I just asked which one and put it on the list.

I didn't realise I was supposed to recoil in horror. Obviously I'm not normal by Mnet standards.

A 21 year old at home whose mummy buys his lube in the Tesco shop.

How do you keep the girls away from this prince amongst men?

I would have shouted back up the stairs 'I meant food' and told him to get his own personal items. But that's just me.

You can recoil in horror if you like though.

^ this

No don't buy the lube, he can deal with that himself. Lol

I would have thought my 21 year old was joking. Like, didn't actually expect his mother to buy him lube. Hey ho.

My DS are 18 and 16. We talk openly about safe sex, when DS1 had a gf,she stayed over.

However if I offered to buy him lube, he'd be completely mortified! Seriously...wtf?!?

Condoms and 'the chat' and leave it there surely?

Sorry but lube has killed me really? Oh my days!

I didn’t see the deleted post, I’d love to know what it was!

You really shouldn't buy them lube!

Only on MN would a parent be so laid back about their kids sex lives that they buy lube for them! The indignation of this not being the norm has made me lol.

My dd is now 18 and at Uni and only now would I be happy with her having her bf to stay over. On the assumption really that they already share a bed on occasion in the privacy of their everyday (adult) lives.

DD2 is 16 and it isn't something I would allow as I really don't see the need.

Transporting myself back to 17 year old self, I think I would have died of embarrassment at the thought of being allowed to stay at a boyfriends house and being provided with condoms and other accoutrements. Being the old fashioned sorts we waited for parents to go on holiday or to trot off to Tesco (and pub after if you were lucky) before we got our teenage kicks! :D

I work in Sexual health and I agree buying them lube is pretty weird also at 17 I really don't think you need to ask her parents, that's also a bit weird.

I wouldn't be letting DD have a boyfriend stay over at 17. I'm not a cool mum.

I got a really weird PM about this the other day. I asked if the poster was serious but it was about teenagers and dryness etc. I think it's completely out of order and overstepping, and I honestly think it's odd.

I have a 20yr old dd and she would DIE OF SHAME if I offered to buy lube. And we're a very open family.

Fucking strange.

All I can think of now is lube. Lube, lube, lube, lube, LUBE.

And then some more lube for when the lube was spent and all anyone could think about was obtaining more LUBE.

Lube.