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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Ds wants to go on holiday with his boyfriend

100 replies

Thepurpleonee · 16/02/2018 10:04

Hi my son is 14 and is openly gay. He has asked me if he can go on holiday for a couple of nights next week with his boyfrend who is 16. His boyfriends parents will also be there.
I don't know weather to say yes or no though what should I do ?????

OP posts:
CougheeBean · 16/02/2018 12:13

14/16 year olds can have sex in parks, public toilets, friends houses, your house while you aren't looking, etc. They are far more likely to be highly policed when they are spending 24/7 with this other kids parents who probably feel exactly the same as others here re: underage sex. I went on holidays with my BF at 15 and despite having sex at home we didn't while on holiday. HTH.

Original poster
Thepurpleonee · 16/02/2018 12:14

They are past the holding hands stage as they have been together for 4 months nearly 5

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 16/02/2018 12:16

No. If they are going as friends fine. But anything else is not fine at the age of 14. I am surprised at this other boy's parents allowing it.

italiancortado · 16/02/2018 12:18

Statutory rape still exist.

Can you back your statement up please?

MrsJayy · 16/02/2018 12:21

I wouldn't allow a 14yr old tongo on holiday with their bf/gf after being together 5 months or any length of time it is to much too soon

Original poster
Thepurpleonee · 16/02/2018 12:21

I knew they were more than friends from the moment I met my ds boyfriend as my ds friends are girls

OP posts:
southeastdweller · 16/02/2018 12:22

I wouldn’t. He’s too young. When will you be speaking to the boyfriends parents?

CougheeBean · 16/02/2018 12:26

Why is it too young? In my experience “relationships” at this age are basically just close friendships, I’m sure they’d have a lovely time. I think the sex thing is largely irrelevant as they’ll find a way if that’s what they want, and it’s far better for them to experiment with someone they feel safe abd comfortable with

Iworrytoomuchh · 16/02/2018 12:31

If they’re having sex, there are far easier ways than going on holiday where presumably his parents will be asleep in the next room. Who cares if they do anyway, as long as they are sensible - my sister (18) admitted to me recently that all of her and the majority of her class were sexually active by 14.

Iworrytoomuchh · 16/02/2018 12:33

And yes I absolutely would let my child in these circs. I went on holiday with my best friend around that age and it was amazing, I loved it. Presumably the boys are best friends as well as lovers so why not. You’ve got to let your kids grow up and have new experiences in life. They’ll have a great time.

MrsJayy · 16/02/2018 12:38

Going on holiday with a "partner"is quite a grown up thing to do and at 14 relationships can be fickle what if they fell out it isn't something I would have considered when my dds were 14

zzzzz · 16/02/2018 12:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jacobsgirl · 16/02/2018 12:41

I thought no discuss it with your sounds boyfriends parents

They will probably be able to reassure you about the arrangements etc

I don't see any major harm in it just make sure you've spoken all the details over with the parents thoroughly:)

Pumpkintopf · 16/02/2018 12:42

Absolutely not! He's far too young. I'm amazed that a) the other parents have suggested it and b) that other posters on here seem to think its ok!

jacobsgirl · 16/02/2018 12:42

Discuss it with your sons boyfriends parents *

sorry don't know what happened in the first line of my last reply*

Original poster
Thepurpleonee · 16/02/2018 12:45

I'm speaking to my ds boyfriends mum later as ds is going out with his boyfriend and his boyfriends mum

OP posts:
YorkieDorkie · 16/02/2018 12:45

I can't see a problem if they have separate rooms. His boyfriend's parents are there. You need to have a conversation with them about your expectations.

Original poster
Thepurpleonee · 16/02/2018 13:03

I will need to find that out I think they are going to an apartment with 2-3 bedrooms. But my sons boyfriend has a older sister who will be going aswell

OP posts:
Original poster
Thepurpleonee · 16/02/2018 13:34

I'm Also going to speak to ds about it.

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 16/02/2018 13:36

The issue is he is 14 years old and you think this trip will involve him being sexually assaulted.

Where does the OP say that?

SuburbanRhonda · 16/02/2018 13:40

I actually think it’s less likely they’ll have sex on holiday with three other adults in close proximity than when they’re hanging out at a friend’s house.

zenasfuck · 16/02/2018 13:41

Presumably they are best friends as well as lovers

Wtf ? He is 14 years old

Original poster
Thepurpleonee · 16/02/2018 13:45

I've never said that. I've just had the sex talk with ds after he asked me about it a few weeks ago

OP posts:
bluesouper · 16/02/2018 13:49

I don't understand why anyone would encourage a teenage romance to become more serious by supporting holidays together, etc.

It really baffles me. And this applies for boy/girl, boy/boy, girl/girl, whatever

SuburbanRhonda · 16/02/2018 13:55

blue

Perhaps because relationships at that age flourish despite parental disapproval - in fact, often more so!

So how would you be discouraging this relationship if it was your DS? Short of never allowing him out of the house alone?