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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

We were only out for two hours...

92 replies

roband · 01/01/2018 07:30

....And 15 yes old DS invited gods knows who into our house I am so angry. The place was trashed. Cheap cider poured over things including our bed and carpet.graffitti on the walls Mirrors pulled off walls. Smashed lamps. But worst of all someone has stolen money and watches from us including an omega that I got as a special present for my DH and over £100 in cash that my older DS had in his room as part of his 18th birthday money. I have never been so raging. I feel like not only has my DS completely let us down but that he is being taken for a total mug by these people. And as far as the stolen stuff goes, I just don’t know what to do. So so upset I could weep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Personwithhorse · 01/01/2018 08:07

I expect he will have put an invite in one of the social media places, can you access his phone. At least no one died. I used to live in Jersey the same thing happened, house trashed loads of drink/drugs. One 16 year old over dosed and passed out. Because of the drugs no one called the police so they dumped him in the road to die. Lovely teenagers.

You have learnt the hard way, you can’t trust them. Sorry for all the heart ache

Original poster
roband · 01/01/2018 08:09

I am not sure he knows how to make friends. He is a very secretive souls and we get nothing out of him about school, friends anything really. So yes i think his is about trying to fit in and hat makes me even sadder. God what a start to the year!

OP posts:
Original poster
roband · 01/01/2018 08:10

Sorry for all the typos.

OP posts:
Plexie · 01/01/2018 08:10

Of course phone the police (non emergency number cos crime isn't in progress).

Re insurance, it won't be considered as burglary because they didn't break in. Would the Omega even be covered if it hadn't been added to the policy as a high value item? Worth contacting the insurance company anyway.

Did he invite people via social media? He might not know the names of who turned up.

Original poster
roband · 01/01/2018 08:12

Getting the details of how and who and why is very tough. I don’t think it was on social media as they appear to have decanted out of another persons house to mine. No idea why.

OP posts:
clearingaspaceforthecat · 01/01/2018 08:12

Wake him up!
Sit him down and get all the details and phone the police.
He wont get into trouble but he will learn an important life lesson and you then have an incident number for insurance purposes.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 01/01/2018 08:14

You must phone the Police, all actions have consequences. Your Son may open up to them immediately, they will know which questions to ask. I hope you get the watch back, dirty little scrotes.😡

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 01/01/2018 08:16

It sounds as though your DS was a victim too OP.

Thedietstartsnow · 01/01/2018 08:16

Clearly you phone police,with a list of names

JaneEyre70 · 01/01/2018 08:17

You'll need a crime reference to claim on your insurance, and to be really honest, it's not going to attract a lot of police attention other than being issued a number in reality. I wouldn't worry about what will happen to your DS in terms of Police intervention - he didn't invite them in with the intention of them trashing the place.

princesssparkle1 · 01/01/2018 08:20

So yes i think his is about trying to fit in and hat makes me even sadder. God what a start to the year!

He's starting to reach out to make friends but he needs help to do that, we all need help with friend making mistakes sometimes.

I wonder if getting a community bobby over for a serious chat with him would help snap him out of himself.

After the mess of last night is sorted ( and it will be) you need to help him with his friend making gaucheness and lack of discernment.

I'm guessing he's not a bad lad, just misguided and he got way out of his depth last night.

Help him get out of the mess he (almost certainly) unknowingly, created.

WutheringFrights · 01/01/2018 08:29

When I was 15 my 'friends' ransacked my parents house. Nothing was stolen but every single piece of furniture was turned upside down, cling film over the toilet and irreplaceable ornaments were broken.
I had let them in while my parents were out but then needed to walk a friend home so kicked them out.
One of my best friends knew where we kept our spare key and let them all back in.

It was an absolute life changer for me - a soon as I was able I distanced myself from them - chose to go to a completely different college purely to get away from them. It was the best thing I ever did.

I just wanted to fit in and be popular so was a absolute pushover and they constantly took advantage of me.

They knew my parents went out every Friday so would always pressure me to let them come over even though I was repeatedly asked by my parents not to.

I'm in my forties now and I still play that evening over in my head and it sickens me that people who were meant to be my friends could do that to my parents.

I'm still disappointed in myself that I let them take advantage if me.

Long and short of this tale is I know you will be angry with your DS but hopefully it will make him see sense and maybe like me it may be a life changer.

I'm not going to say don't be too hard on him becuase he needs to know what he did was very very wrong and there have to be consequences but be kind to him to - he didn't intend for this to happen.

Original poster
roband · 01/01/2018 08:34

Thanks wutheringfrights. That’s a really helpful post and glad it all ended up a positive experience for you xxx

OP posts:
Clutterbugsmum · 01/01/2018 08:36

Trying to get names out of him and will try again when he wakes up

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING TILL HE WAKES UP. Wake him up now, get him out of him room so he see the devastation HE has caused.

Tell him to give you the names of the so called friends to you now, Spell it out to him exactly what they have stolen, ask him how he plans to replace the money/cost of the stolen items and the money from his brother. What is he going to sell.

Make him (and do not help him) clear the house up, scrub the walls.

youarenotkiddingme · 01/01/2018 08:43

Yes - totally wake him up!

I'm 100% sure from what you've posted that your ds isn't a bad lad and didn't foresee or intend for this to happen.

But it did happen and his actions were the catalyst for it. Therefore he needs to be involved in sorting it out.

Call 101. You need a crime reference number to look into insurance claim. But also if anyone tries to sell or pawn the watch it may be traceable or recoverable.

Longdistance · 01/01/2018 08:54

Wake him up!

Get him to tidy the mess that was made, you want names, and will be calling on the police.

Feel really sad for you, as not only has sentimental stuff been taken, your dd has let you down Flowers

Longdistance · 01/01/2018 08:54

Should say ds.

Parker231 · 01/01/2018 08:56

100% ring the police. You will need it for any insurance claim and everyone involved needs to understand you are treating this very seriously otherwise your house could be seen as an easy target.

Arrietty123 · 01/01/2018 09:11

It sounds like your son has been deliberately targeted. Call the police and get this all on record. Your son was the victim here so won't get in trouble. Not calling the police will just allow these boys to continue robbing people.

celticmissey · 01/01/2018 09:14

I feel so sorry for you. A friend if mine's teenage daughter invited some friends over when her parents were out a few years ago unbeknown to her parents. Some other kids who weren't invited got in and caused £24,000 worth of damage and quite a few things were taken. They had to report it to the police to get a crime number. They were also able to claim some money as their daughter could say that some of the kids were not let in by her and so they were trespassing and classed as burglars for stealing things. The damage was in every room and her parents had worked hard and had just finished decorating the house. She was grounded for a month and had a talking to from the police

ATeardropExplodes · 01/01/2018 09:15

Trying to get names out of him and will try again when he wakes up.

Yes, what he needs is a lie in after a night of letting people trash the house.

ImListening · 01/01/2018 09:18

Teardrop he may have tried to stop them you don’t know what he did or didn’t do. If he were my dcs he would be feeling let down & distraught.

Oblomov18 · 01/01/2018 09:21

Goodness. What a mess. Are you getting anywhere with him, re giving names?

RJnomore1 · 01/01/2018 09:24

Phone the police and wake him up. You're being far too calm here. I don't mean start ranting and shouting at him but for his sake and to help him in friendships show him you setting boundaries and taking decisive action when someone has hurt you.

Don't let him think it's okay for people to take advantage and not do anything about it.

Greenshoots1 · 01/01/2018 09:26

wake him up now. Take him down to the police station now. with photographs.

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