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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

New Years Eve

11 replies

nokidshere · 14/12/2017 19:26

My 16yr old wants to go to a party on NYE with his friends. About 45 16-18 yr olds, 8 miles away, no adults.

If we let him go then we can’t drink because we will need to give him lifts to and from. I would quite like him to celebrate it with us and friends as we usually do. He says he can stay overnight but again, no adults. My 19 yr old will probably be out locally with friends.

If I am honest I want to say no but am aware that this might be unreasonable.

What are your teens doing?

OP posts:

mumma24 · 14/12/2017 20:07

I wouldn't be happy there's no adult supervision at 16.

PingPongBat · 14/12/2017 23:50

My instinct would be to say no as well. That's a large party, and even tho the 18 year olds are technically adults, I'd be concerned about lack of potentially sober people there who could help deal with any issues / emergencies.

yikesanotherbooboo · 15/12/2017 00:05

I would be very unhappy about lack of adult supervision.
In general on these threads I am quite liberal but 16 year olds are not reliable with alcohol and someone needs to be around to make the right choices if things go wrong.
( voice of experience)
Also... I think that parents should not always have to be on call in this way... if you have a social engagement then go to it and have fun. The children's social lives should come second. They get to see their friends day in day out so if you want a night 'off' have it at your convenience.

Herbika · 15/12/2017 00:22

God No

NoWayInn · 15/12/2017 14:04

I'd let him go but make DH pick up at 1230.
Lots of warnings about drinking. I presume they take their own alcohol, make sure he takes something sensible like a couple of ciders.
Imagine being made to hang around with parents when there is a party where all your friends are going. These sort of things matter a lot when you are 16 (and you can have a drink any night of the year).

BearSoFair · 15/12/2017 14:57

If there were adults I'd probably consider it but definitely not without.

DS1 is 15, he's going to one of his mates houses with 5 friends all 14-16. Friends parents will be there (definitely, I asked them directly to make sure!) and they live less than 15 minutes away so it's all local. He's been friends with this group for a long time, all the families know eachother and the hosting family are very sensible so I'm happy for him to be there. DH will still walk down and pick him up at 12:30 just to make sure he doesn't bump into anyone dodgy. This is the first time he'll be out on NYE.

woodlands01 · 15/12/2017 21:33

Agree with PP's regarding lack of adult supervision. I am too quite liberal - I know (or think I do) what teenagers get up to and believe you have to educate them and let them make their own mistakes etc....... I would do what NoWayInn suggests, but I'd pick up rather than DH. At least you have some sort of control over the situation.

I say this as the (only) adult supervision in a house party of 30 Y10s tomorrow evening. How the hell I agreed to it I'm not sure. DH out til late in London (probably best) and I hoped to rope my older daughter and boyfriend in as support but she has been invited somewhere and I don't want her to miss out. Wish me luck!!

I'm not quite sure what my age is regarding the adult supervision. DD and boyfriend 16 and 17 - they have been to parties where parents are absent but only in that they are at the local pub so can be called on in an emergency. Also in these situations they have been relatively local - I do not drink so I can be drive and pick up if need be.

DownstairsMixUp · 15/12/2017 21:45

No, not withou adults

LoveBeingAMum555 · 16/12/2017 00:39

My DS (just turned 17) has asked if he can have four friends to ours and I have said no. We have been invited out and he doesn't want to come so wants us to leave him home alone with his friends. Let's face it its New Years Eve and they will want to drink and party and if we were nearby I might have said yes but I can see things getting out of hand - and four friends turning into fourteen.

DS has been to unsupervised parties and perhaps it's the stories I have heard from these that are making me wary! Difficult age for New Year when they don't really want to be with parents though.

ReggaetonLente · 16/12/2017 00:42

Can you book him a taxi for 1am? Seems a decent compromise.

Dancinggoat · 16/12/2017 07:47

This sounds like those parties that don't actually happen. They all talk about this party and this big gathering happening but the reality it never happens
. All the kids will be saying this gatherings happening I need to go. All the parents will be saying no. The kids won't be saying they're not going to save face and in the vain hope they can change their parents minds.
Why not say he can invite 3 mates to yours as a softer blow.

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