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willyougotobed · 10/11/2017 00:31

I just wondered what is the norm for people for a 12 year old, who's just recently got their first phone, started secondary.

My dd is happy for me to have the password and I have a quick check every now and again, just to make sure she's not posting anything offensive, ill advised etc. And she doesn't. She's pretty good.

But a few of her friends are really posting some dreadful stuff. Bullying people, calling people fucking pile of shit, fucking bitch, or telling one person from the class for example to fuck off, go away, nobody likes you - for nothing really, I guess just to look "hard".

I've known some of these since they were babies/toddlers and wonder if their parents would want to know.

I don't know if I'm helicoptering by checking but in some ways I'm glad I am, as dd was quite upset today when one of these sent her a barrage of abuse. It really riled me and I was tempted to send a screenshot to the girl's dm. I've managed to restrain myself however and have at the moment just saved the screenshot.

Is it the norm to just stay out of it?

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Makesmilingyourbesthobby · 10/11/2017 00:56

Concerning other people's children yes, concerning your children no, & no not helicoptering i think children should be monitored with they online activity

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willyougotobed · 10/11/2017 01:31

Thank you. I feel sort of guilty not telling this particular girl's mum because I've known her so long. But I think it is probably better for me to butt out for now and see if it continues.

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celticmissey · 10/11/2017 01:50

Make sure you keep any screen shots. My niece was badly bullied over social media and it started like this. In the end as it carried on in school the school were informed and had to have words with the other girls parents.

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willyougotobed · 10/11/2017 03:11

I will do, thanks Celtic. Your poor niece. I hope it doesn't come to that but I am worried about it.

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JustHope · 15/11/2017 09:07

You are doing the right thing by keeping an eye on your DDs online activity. Girls can be vile and things can escalate quickly. If it were my DD posting horrible messages like this I would 100% want to know about it. So many parents are just clueless about what their little angels are up to online.

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QuopQuop · 15/11/2017 09:09

I would send it to the DM. Her daughter is sending this to your daughter and it's not okay.

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