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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DD in a fight!

9 replies

Mumsybea · 25/10/2017 19:46

My DD is a really nice, sweet girl. She had an argument with a girl who is a bit of a ring leader to these 4 other girls. I got a phone call from her head of year saying that DD had kicked the ring leader girl to the ground! I was beyond disgusted! I asked DD why, and her response was that she didn’t like the girl, and she had been pushing and tripping her over in the hallways and basically bullying her. I am lost on what to do, do I tell DD well done for standing up for herself ,but she shouldn’t get physical , or tell her that she is just as bad as the other girl???Sad

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 25/10/2017 19:47

You say what the other girl did was awful. BUT she should have told you and reported it. Violence is NOT the answer. I'd she being excluded?

Caulk · 25/10/2017 19:48

What have the school done so far to manage it between DD and this girl?

Santawontbelong · 25/10/2017 19:49

I was in the same boat at school. . Months of abuse until I punched her in the jaw. . She never bothered me again. .
My ds same boat, bullied, thrown literally at a bus. . Ds snapped and bust the lads nose. No more agro.
I don't condone fighting but sometimes a short sharp shock really does do the trick. Tell you dc while you don't approve you won't be punishing either. .

Original poster
Mumsybea · 25/10/2017 20:04

wolfiefan They have suspended DD for three days the other girl for 4 since she was one being physical first. Caulk The school have tried to sit Them at opposite ends of the classroom but when the bell rings the other girl will pretend to be walking by her and then trip her up. Santawontbelong I don’t approve of that type of behaviour but I’m glad that DD has learnt to stand her ground. I’m going to be taking away some privileges like her laptop for these 3 suspension days.

OP posts:
K1092902 · 25/10/2017 20:07

Maybe an unpopular thought here but ive told DSD to stick up for herself and sometimes the only way to get through to people is to give them a taste of their own medicine. unless i got there first

Oswin · 25/10/2017 20:07

She defended herself. The school have allowed this girl to bully her. Maybe the bully will back off now.
Violence is not the answer but if someone was pushing me and tripping me and nothing was done I would fight back too.

Wolfiefan · 25/10/2017 20:08

At least they have recognised what the other girl did too. They now need to put in a plan to avoid future problems.
Is your DD sorry or is she saying she was completely justified and she wouldn't do anything different in future? If it's the first I think I would keep any consequence to a minimum at home. Just making the three suspension days boring study days is enough.
I don't agree with kicking the other girl to the ground but I can totally see why she felt pushed to the brink. Poor kid.

Original poster
Mumsybea · 25/10/2017 21:39

wolfiefan I am going to make these suspension days as boring as possible. DD says she is sorry and knows she shouldn’t act like that but feels as if she was pushed to he brink. K1092902 I agree she has gave the other girl a taste of her own medicine. Oswin im hoping the bully backs off

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 25/10/2017 21:55

That sounds fair. It's not like she perpetrated some unprovoked attack. Your poor DD. Here's hoping the school ensure she isn't treated like this again and give her enough faith to report any bullying.
No she shouldn't have done it. But I kind of can't blame her! Wouldn't say that though!

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