Full time work with teenagers

[Clarew81]

Yesterday I was offered the opportunity to work full time at my current work place. I currently do 9-3 which I’ve always done over the last 8 years I’ve been there.
I’ll get to grow my position and take on more accounts but would need to work 9-5pm.
I’m so torn as what’s best to do.
My job hours have always been perfect for our family. We have 3 boys all now at secondary school so the majority of the time I’ll get home to find they’ve either gone out with friends or hiding away in their rooms playing the Xbox so I feel somefines well I might as well stay at work and actually earn some extra money however I’m worried with my eldest doing his GCSE’s this year and my youngest just stared in year 7 is this the wrong time to take in more at work?? But also feel my job has always been what has suited the family and it’s buce to think I can move on and do more professionally.

I work full time out of necessity

My two are at secondary school and now take responsibility for their homework

If it's not done the school gives out punishments

I Don't see why working should be a problem. Presumably they aren't home much before 5 and often later with sport/music/clubs etc.

I worked full time throughout the teenage years and it was fine. Hated part-time work.

I currently work three days a week. I've always said that once all three kids were in high school I'd consider increasing to four days. We are used to my part time wage now but in the future when things like child benefit stop and tax credits (not that we get much!) stop then I may have to consider full time.

If I were in your position, loved the job and could progress further I would definitely go for it. Most teenagers can take care of their own homework, come home and chill out before you come home.

Good luck!

I sometimes feel like my DCs need me around more now at the preteen and teen stage than they did a few years ago. They don’t necessarily need me in the same way but they do like that I am there. They also do a lot of extra curricular stuff that they couldn’t do if I worked full time.

I guess it depends on your DC and how independent they are, do they have a lot of extra curricular stuff, what times do they get in from school and what time will you get home if working until 5?

Could you take some of the extra work home? Might mean you're 'around' but working just as they are doing homework etc. Any small flex in timings might just make you feel more available to them.

I moved to full time from similar hours to you when my boys were around 14 and 16. It has been better professionally and obviously financially but it has taken a toll on me rather than anyone else. I am mentally and physically exhausted because I'm still trying to do everything I used to in a shorter timescale.

The boys are fine and don't need me around any more but I did make sure that I could be flexible if I needed to go into school or drive them in in bad weather etc.
Honestly unless you think this is a once-in-a lifetime opportunity I'd hang on to part-time for a bit longer if you can.

Just a thought but I've found that I need to be around more now that my ds is 15, with girls and drugs tempting him away from school work.

Tricky. I work 4 days a week. I do find it's easier with teens to be flexible with work, but I have also found I do need to be around quite a bit to support them through coursework, exams, driving tests, uni applications, conversations about boyfriends, etc. And housework (shopping, cooking, laundry, etc) certainly doesn't go down with teens. I think I'd find full time quite tough.

Last year I took a bit of unpaid parental leave, which covered our family holidays. And then used my annual leave to be at home a bit more during the exam season. You can take parental leave until your DCs are 18. Might be worth considering if you do go full time?

The other thing with teens is that they're up later. So if you don't do much socially yourself in the evening, you can do more parenting then.

Also depends what your OH does of course. Any chance he could take on a bit more at home?

I wouldn’t, yet. I work 4 full days (early start - we all leave the same time - they get a specific school bus) and I get back just after them. I’m usually needing half an hr to chill like they do so we might chat then, then I get on with the laundry, cook dinner, see to any of their ‘needs’ - make sure they’re starting homework etc. They’re not doing extra stuff midweek at the mo, but if they were I could facilitate it, but wouldn’t fancy getting back at 6pm to take them somewhere, then making dinner etc. Dh doesn’t get back til 7pm unless I expressly ask.
They do need you around still at gcse time - if only to rant at - lol! And we always have dinner together which is important. I am tempted to go for a better paid job but it would prob mean a later start & finish so although the former would be great, the latter not so. I think 5.30-5.45 would be latest i’d want to arrive home at the moment about an hour after they do.

If you think your job will be just as secure if you keep your existing hours and you can manage without the extra money then I think you should really think carefully about switching to full-time. My gut instinct is to say, "Don't do it yet!"

Who currently gets the evening meal on weekdays? If that is currently you, how do you see things working if you go full-time? What do you normally do with your "spare" 2 hours each day that you would lose by going full-time? Do you often use them for housework or other household tasks? If so, do you still envisage being the one to do that work if you go full-time and, if so, when will you do it? If you are expecting your DH and/or your DSs to do more housework if you switch to full-time working, have you discussed that with them? I would suggest, for the conversation to be meaningful, it needs to involve not just a general agreement on their part to do more, but specific agreement about what extra tasks they will take on that they don't currently do. Are your DH's working hours regular or unpredictable? Does he have some flexibility in his hours, eg could he leave work early to take your DSs to a doctor's or dentist appointment if needed or would that be problematic? Does your DH do a significant chunk of the housework and organisation of the DSs' activities at present or does he very much see that as your domain?

Thanks so much for all your responses.
I work 10 mins from home and as I’ve been there so long I know if I need to go early or swap my lunch break until later in the day should they need me then I know that won’t be an issue.
The boys would be home for half 3. We live a 5 minute walk from the school and I would be home at 5pm along with DH.
It’s so difficult to know what’s for the best. The extra money would be a great help and me taking on more at work is great career wise however I am well aware the extra time away from the home and kids could have a knock on effect.
I’ve been told i can sit and think about it for a few days so they’ll be some discussions at home as to they all understand the changes that will happen. Thanks again

Go for it. Home at 5pm is really early. I would have loved my mum to have been home then when I was a teen - she worked evenings so more often than not she wouldn't get in til well past 11pm.

And I don't see why you couldn't still all eat together if you got home at 5, surely most teenagers aren't eating dinner before 5?!