DS damaged a child's blazer at school, parents demand cash.

[InMySpareTime]

DS (Y11) was messing around, pretended to cut another child's blazer with scissors. They moved, and DS accidentally actually cut the blazer about 1cm into the bottom seam by the pocket.
School phoned me because child's parents want £30 for a new blazer, and they are now giving the parents my phone number to work it out between us. They have shown neither school nor me any pictures of the damage, though the child was apparently still wearing the blazer to school each day since.
I've offered to either mend the blazer, or replace it with one of DS's own Blazers. Given the blazer was not damaged maliciously, and is still perfectly wearable, am I unreasonable to think that's enough, and not pay them £30?
I don't think they'll spend it on a new blazer anyway, they're likely pulling a fast one IMO

For data protection reasons the school should not be giving out your number. I'd tell them immediately that if they do you'll be suing them for that.

take it out of your child's pocket money. they need to know messing around has consequences.

it isn't a big deal but i wouldn't defend your child too much. messing about with scissors isn't really what he should be doing at school, nor any other time.

I don't repair. I just buy new uniform. Most repairs look worse than leaving it alone.

He did it. You should pay.

I do not take DS to school, I'm sorting all this out by phone and email.
I've emailed school this morning to make it very clear I am not comfortable with the other family having my contact details, to ask what the extent of the damage actually is, and to ask again what size blazer is required.

I don't hate mending stuff op. I will always fix stuff if it can be, I just appreciate that others arent the same! My kids are younger but they're constantly filthy, ripping knees etc! My Nan used to say dirty kids are happy kids and I agree but she always was adament it doesn't matter what they end up like as long as the go out nice! I think this has stayed with me so I'd never send them out in anything ripped! This is especially true of school- kids are mean and I'd be worried they'd be teased!

Your son is yr 11? TBH if it wasn't a deliberate act, i'd pay up sharpish and thank my lucky stars that as my child "was just messing with scissors" another child isn't missing a kidney and my child isn't being charged with GBH.

Hyperbole much? How did we get from Blazers to GBH? He wouldn't hurt a fly, and this is the first time he's even had a detention.

I've emailed school this morning to make it very clear I am not comfortable with the other family having my contact details

That's not strong enough, OP. Go on the school website and download their policy on handling personal data. Then hold them to it.

Not read all of the thread, however for £30 I would hand it over and thank the lord it wasn't worse!

Giving your 2nd hand blazer is a naff idea and quite insulting IMHO

So if i'm messing with scissors Inmyspare and you've not noticed - 'cause you'd presumably say "bugger off Crone, you'll cut my jacket" in those seconds of me "messing" and you being "unaware" what's to stop you inadvertently moving fast and heavily onto the scissors?
Good kids get in the most awful situations just "messing about" you know, it's not just the spawns of the devils!

you need to hand over 30 quid, but you know that really i think. Id be fucking livid if my soms brand new blazer, as tbisnone could potentially be, or one that id been keeping in good condition to hand down to siblings, got damaged and the person didnt replace it with a new one, accident or not.

I genuinely had no idea that people hate mended stuff so vehemently, I've always mended things instead of buying new ones.

Wearing mended stuff is fine if it's got torn through wear or your own carelessness but surely you can see why they wouldn't be happy accepting a mend for something someone else did because they were carrying on?

And to be honest i'd be ready to blow a gasket if my teenager was "messing" with scissors

I'd pay them the £30 for the new blazer but I'd ask them for the damaged one in return.

You can then see about getting it repaired yourself at your own time and if you're feeling generous, you could donate it to the lost & found or second hand uniform sale (if you have one in your school), or you can make your son wear the repaired blazer.

Of course you need to replace it.

I would not be giving them cash though, I would be asking for the size and buying a (new) replacement for them.

I would also be taking the money out if my DS pocket money.

You might think he 'wouldn't hurt a fly' but WTAF was he doing playing around with scissors like this?

You're lucky that the only damage was someone else's blazer. He could, 'dicking around' actually have harmed someone rather than their property.

Sorry but I would be pretty annoyed about my sons uniform been damaged by a class mate, accidentally or purposely, and I actually would expect the other parent to replace the damaged item. Just the same as if my son damaged someone else's clothing/belongings I would completely expect to reimburse the other parent. However, this said I would happily give the size for the parent to buy the replacement and not demand cash. I wouldn't be happy with school giving out my contact details tho!!

I think we all know teenage boys (and girls!) Do mess about when infront of class mates, and some comments are a bit unfair to OP and her son.

It wasn't just DS on some mad scissor spree, they were all messing about pretending to snip stuff, blazer kid included. It just happened that DS's scissors actually cut something, could easily have gone the other way.
That's what the teacher said anyway, and DS's account backs that up.

The school should not have passed along your phone number to the other child's parent. It is against data protection regulations and I would complain about that.

You don't need to have any direct contact with the other parents at all. Just deal with the school.

Inmyspare if a teacher was watching and present whilst a group of teenage lads were playing "snips" with scissors - i'd be asking the teacher to pay. WTF teacher just looks on whilst this is happening

Where do you buy the blazers from? Could you get them a £30 credit note. You could hand it into the school to pass on and ask that you not be contacted again?

the school giving out your contact details is an absolute NO NO..

however.. you're dodging the main issue.. you owe this boy a the money for a replacement blazer.. your avoiding paying by pissing about with blazer sizes etc.. just bite the bullet and pay...

and I agree.. your lucky it's only £30 .. they can cost much more than this...

Not sure why this the school's role to act as your conduit in Blazergate

Why don't you want to resolve with the family direct? Schools have better things to do

Rollingcrone the teacher may have had to investigate and concluded it was horseplay