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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DS damaged a child's blazer at school, parents demand cash.

162 replies

InMySpareTime · 18/09/2017 19:20

DS (Y11) was messing around, pretended to cut another child's blazer with scissors. They moved, and DS accidentally actually cut the blazer about 1cm into the bottom seam by the pocket.
School phoned me because child's parents want £30 for a new blazer, and they are now giving the parents my phone number to work it out between us. They have shown neither school nor me any pictures of the damage, though the child was apparently still wearing the blazer to school each day since.
I've offered to either mend the blazer, or replace it with one of DS's own Blazers. Given the blazer was not damaged maliciously, and is still perfectly wearable, am I unreasonable to think that's enough, and not pay them £30?
I don't think they'll spend it on a new blazer anyway, they're likely pulling a fast one IMO

OP posts:
gillybeanz · 18/09/2017 21:18

It wasn't an accident your ds was purposefully messing about and must pay the consequences.
Why doesn't he understand not to do such stupid things at his age?
If you pay for it he'll never learn so he should pay for it.

BackieJerkhart · 18/09/2017 21:20

Your son was dicking about and caused damage, so he absolutely should pay for that even if it is over a month's pocket money. That's the cost of being an idiot. It's how he learns not to be an idiot again. Which I assume is something you would like to encourage?

Having said that I wouldn't be handing over any money. I would either purchase a new blazer for the child or, if possible, provide a gift voucher for the nearest uniform retailer. If they don't accept those terms then tough titty for them.

And I would rip the school a new arsehole for giving out my phone number.

Ohmyfuck · 18/09/2017 21:22

Seriously? Your kid was playing with scissors and ended up damaging a blazer. He's told you he cut it; why do you need photos? Pay for a new blazer. I just forked out for a brand new one for the school year, I wouldn't want a second-hand sewn up one, thanks all the same! Pay the money, or better still, get your kid to!

gillybeanz · 18/09/2017 21:23

I'm sorry but the reason you won't take the money off your ds is the reason he's still dicking about at 15.
He needs to learn from mistakes and not have mummy bailing him out all the time.
Don't give them the money, if they won't have a replacement blazer that's their fault.
Also report the school, they should know better than giving out parents personal information.

Aderyn17 · 18/09/2017 21:23

It doesn't matter how old the blazer was/what condition it is in. The fact is it will cost £30 to replace it - your kid damaged it so you should pay up and stop trying to wriggle out of it. It's not like there is any doubt that your ds cut the blazer.

mellicauli · 18/09/2017 21:24

Offer to swap blazers ?

AJPTaylor · 18/09/2017 21:24

Strictly speaking to indemnify them you should pay them the second hand value.

NC4now · 18/09/2017 21:26

You need to replace the blazer to demonstrate it is being treated seriously as much as anything else.

Aderyn17 · 18/09/2017 21:30

Why shouldn't the school give out her number? It's not like there is a dispute over whether her kid did it. They hsve got more important things to do than adjudicate between 2 sets of parents.
I'm surprised the school haven't punished him separately for arsing about with scissors tbh.

Aderyn17 · 18/09/2017 21:32

But Taylor, it's not like they can definitely find one of the same quality in the right size, second hand. It's not like a car, where you can always find something suitable.

OlennasWimple · 18/09/2017 21:37

Where do you buy the blazers? If the school shop, could you go and put £30 "behind the till" there so that they can come in and sort the blazer out themselves?

Lazy2Hazy · 18/09/2017 21:41

I would pay the £30.

If it makes you feel better, I would then ask for the the damaged blazer as salvage Grin...if they want to keep salvage I would deduct % Blush

But I'm not that petty 🤗

PuffinNose · 18/09/2017 21:41

Why do you want to see the damage? Your son has acknowledged he cut the blazer.

They've already said they don't want it repaired (I understand that because it's probably new) so what use will you examining the blazer be? If he said he hadn't cut it then it would be different but he's said he did.

Your son needs to take responsibility and pay for a new blazer. If that means he gets no or very little pocket money for a few months then it will teach him a lesson.

I get why you don't want to give cash but is it worth the grief arguing? If you won't give cash, then write to them cc-ing school saying you'll buy a new one once they give you the size. Alternatively, as someone above said, give them a voucher.

As for the old blazer, you don't have the right to keep that. You're not swopping.

I'd also make son write an apology note to the parents.

Will there be financial repocussions for you buying a new blazer?

OfficerVanHalen · 18/09/2017 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PuffinNose · 18/09/2017 21:45

Oh and yes, if you didn't give permission to share info then you need to raise that.

Only1scoop · 18/09/2017 21:45

School are obviously aware of the damage

Just pay them

Your DS can pay you back

Only1scoop · 18/09/2017 21:46

Officer

Quite

Aderyn17 · 18/09/2017 21:48

I agree that you are treating them like scammers, when they have done nothing wrong.

LML83 · 18/09/2017 21:51

You should be mortified your son behaved terribly. Pay the money and assure them he will be taught this is not acceptable.

You are completely missing the point. They prob want the money for a blazer if they don't it is a completely separate issue.

Sort your son out. Make him earn the money to pay for the blazer.

OhOfCourse · 18/09/2017 22:01

Seriously if my son came home with a damage school blazed where the damage was caused by another child (especially at your sons age) I'd be fucking pissed and I can afford a new one. School uniform isn't cheap and why should my children lest damaged clothes because your idiot son was playing with scissors.

Why should he wear a second hand one or have you sew up the damage? That's a joke!

Be decent and handover the cash. Totally up to them whether they buy another jacket or not.

MrsDustyBusty · 18/09/2017 22:01

What's wrong with it being a month of his pocket money?

Liadain · 18/09/2017 22:03

Your son caused the damage, he should pay/buy a new one. I'd bloody move if someone was fucking about with scissors like that so close to my skin.

Little diddums might have been only messing (nice minimising) but it still isn't other child's fault.

KweenOfFarts · 18/09/2017 22:13

Agree with @officer

Also teach your son not dick around with scissors. I'd be thinking thank fuck he didn't 'accidentally' cut the other child. Btw it doesn't matter if the boy moved, your child shouldn't be fucking about with scissors in first place.

Threenme · 18/09/2017 22:15

People are crackers! I would just suck it up and buy a new one, it's your kids fault. It doesn't matter damage is minimal. I dont send my kids to school with cut/ damaged clothes. Also I Don't dress my kids in second hand clothes so if someone cut my children's clothes and the parents tried to palm me off with second hand stuff I'd be very unimpressed!

Voice0fReason · 18/09/2017 23:03

If they want the cash for a replacement blazer then they would be happy to accept a replacement blazer (new). If they demand cash, they don't care that much about the blazer.
Tell the school that as soon as you have the size you will buy a replacement.

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