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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DS damaged a child's blazer at school, parents demand cash.

162 replies

InMySpareTime · 18/09/2017 19:20

DS (Y11) was messing around, pretended to cut another child's blazer with scissors. They moved, and DS accidentally actually cut the blazer about 1cm into the bottom seam by the pocket.
School phoned me because child's parents want £30 for a new blazer, and they are now giving the parents my phone number to work it out between us. They have shown neither school nor me any pictures of the damage, though the child was apparently still wearing the blazer to school each day since.
I've offered to either mend the blazer, or replace it with one of DS's own Blazers. Given the blazer was not damaged maliciously, and is still perfectly wearable, am I unreasonable to think that's enough, and not pay them £30?
I don't think they'll spend it on a new blazer anyway, they're likely pulling a fast one IMO

OP posts:
HangingRock · 19/09/2017 06:17

They might not know the size and probably want to try it on in the uniform shop. They are not scammers they are people who want their damaged blazer replaced.

Ilovetolurk · 19/09/2017 06:50

Astonishing replies here
Either replace the blazer or give £30 so they can do so

It costs you the same either way

I'd be really fucked off if my DS came back from school two weeks in with his new blazer damaged because another y11 who should know better was messing about with scissors

christinarossetti · 19/09/2017 07:24

You must speak with the school re them giving your number out.

And yes you do need to pay for it.

Groovee · 19/09/2017 07:28

I think you do need to pay for it. But I like you would want to see it.

I'd also have words with the school regarding your phone number being given out.

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/09/2017 07:33

You need to pay for the blazer

You don't get to decide what they do with the money.

You just need to pay for the damage your ds did.

Original poster
InMySpareTime · 19/09/2017 07:41

I stand corrected, I'll pay up.
I've half a mind to make DS wear the cut one for the rest of the year though.
I genuinely had no idea that people hate mended stuff so vehemently, I've always mended things instead of buying new ones.

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 19/09/2017 07:48

I'm incredulous that a school would hand out another parent's personal details without consent. That's a sackable offence in my LA.

And a school blazer costing £30?

Hmm
stonecircle · 19/09/2017 07:56

We have a dry cleaners near us where they do the most fantastic invisible mends. And I'm sure a small cut would be a doddle. But I guess they are within their rights to demand the money for a replacement.

Under data protection the school should not have given your telephone number. That's outrageous.

I also don't believe your ds cut the blazer by accident - too much force involved.

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/09/2017 08:05

They can be more than that rhonda

Anything from 29-45 round here

Original poster
InMySpareTime · 19/09/2017 08:09

The blazers are only thin, think more trouser fabric than suit fabric, I can believe a sharp pair of scissors could easily cut one.
This is the first time DS has been in any sort of trouble, he's not a bad lad. There's no malice in him, but I can imagine him dicking around with his mates in class.

OP posts:
amornin · 19/09/2017 08:11

I agree you should pay to replace, but I think you're well within your rights to buy a new blazer rather than give cash. If they genuinely want the money to buy a new blazer, then what's the problem? The only reason they could have a problem with this is if they're not going to buy a new blazer with the money.

Ilovetolurk · 19/09/2017 08:13

OP I think it's OK to mend your own stuff, I have done similar with my DS's blazer but not everyone wants to do that and it's an inconvenience.

You only have your DSs word it was a 1cm cut too

Holz657 · 19/09/2017 08:16

How do you know the blazer is old if you haven't seen it? Your child damaged it, accident or not.

why12345 · 19/09/2017 08:22

Could you get them vouchers for the shop where you can buy a new one from? I hope you gave to school permission before they gave your number out 😬

Havingahorridtime · 19/09/2017 08:43

It doesn't matter whether the other family buy a new blazer or not - your son owes them £30 for the damage he caused. He damaged it and has to pay, simple.

If somebody drove into my car and wrote it off they (or their insurers) would owe me the value of my car whether I wanted a replacement vehicle or not. I could choose to keep the money and use public transport, that's my perogative.

If the family keep your £30 and mend the existing blazer that is their perogative as your son still damaged a £30 item with his wreckless behaviour.

ShangriLaLaLa · 19/09/2017 09:10

So very odd that they won't allow you to replace the blazer and will only accept cash. In their circumstances, I would love for someone to save me the time and effort of uniform shopping.

Perhaps if the blazer is old, they are looking to buy the next size up if you give them cash. Only reason I can think of.

IMO school is out of order giving out numbers without consent, they are unreasonable to dictate only cash and your son needs to think about how he treats the property of others.

My sympathies though, I hate parental tensions in school.

SuburbanRhonda · 19/09/2017 09:10

How do you know the blazer is old if you haven't seen it?

I've had two DC go through secondary school and I've never known anyone to invest in a brand new blazer with 9 months left of school to go.

Even when the cuffs are up to their elbows Grin

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/09/2017 09:12

So very odd that they won't allow you to replace the blazer and will only accept cash. In their circumstances, I would love for someone to save me the time and effort of uniform shopping

Why?

Maybe they will just replace when he grows rather than have 2 the same size.

Maybe he's leaving and it's not worth replacing the old schools blazer.

They aren't obliged to go out and but a new blazer.

Someome.who damaged something is however obliged to pay for it.

ShangriLaLaLa · 19/09/2017 09:16

Giles - in your scenario the blazer is clearly still useable and not needing replacement. An apology and/or cosmetic mending would suffice.

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/09/2017 09:21

Lots of things are still usuable when damaged.

Doesn't mean someone shouldn't pay for what they damaged.

If someone damaged Dds coat id keep using it, especially if she was mid growth spurt or due to leave as id prefer to have a nice new one when really needed and not waste 30 quid on something that won't last.

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/09/2017 09:23

If you went into a shop and cut the blazer you'd be charged for it

You wouldn't tell them it's still wearable sew it up

ShangriLaLaLa · 19/09/2017 09:26

Ha! This illustrates just why I keep away from the school run whenever possible! 😊

HangingRock · 19/09/2017 09:28

School run? The child is age 15- 16!

2014newme · 19/09/2017 09:29

Pay up.
Be glad it's such a cheap blazer!
I'd make my child refund me out of pocket money over a period of months. Or sell some stuff eg unused toys or games. Whichever, he'd be paying not me.

2014newme · 19/09/2017 09:29

@Shangrilala I doubt the mum takes the 16 year old to school!

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