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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Lifts on Friday and Saturday nights for teenagers...where do you stand?

67 replies

MrsGotobed · 15/09/2017 20:08

If Friday and Saturday evenings are you and your DP/DH's nights for relaxing with a few glasses of wine what do you do if your teenager asks in advance for a lift back from somewhere 10pm onwards meaning one of you can't have a drink that night?

Does one of you sacrifice your weekend treat and not drink so you can give them a lift? Do you say no? Tell them if they go out they need to make their own arrangements?

OP posts:
hugoagogo · 15/09/2017 20:11

Once in a while I will do it. I prefer to deliver and someone else's dm pick up, but know it's only right to take turns.

Loopytiles · 15/09/2017 20:16

Not an issue for me yet but suspect I will stay sober and do the pick ups.

Original poster
MrsGotobed · 15/09/2017 20:17

Unfortunately lift-shares don't seem to work due to location - all in different directions :-(

OP posts:
millmoo · 15/09/2017 20:17

Yes I gave up my weekend tipple As my dd worked weekends and needed picking up -thankfully she's driving now 🥂🥂🥂

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 15/09/2017 20:19

It never bothers me not to drink. If it was a one off (as in they weren't expecting it every Friday) and there was a good reason, not just not wanting to use public transport, then I'd do it. I wouldn't particularly enjoy it, but it's a nice thing to do occasionally.

Original poster
MrsGotobed · 15/09/2017 20:23

Public transport? If only it existed here!

What about taxis? If a taxi fare was around £8 would you pay it? Expect them to pay it? (they have a P/T job)

OP posts:
MothratheMighty · 15/09/2017 20:23

Always did, not a problem. Most times they get home under their own steam, but I've never said no if asked, and they've never abused the facility. Drink over family? No contest.

GetAHaircutCarl · 15/09/2017 20:24

It's not the lack of wine that bothers me but the hour.

I have generally told my DC that after midnight I turn into the proverbial pumpkin. Thereafter they must get a taxi and if that's not doable then stay with friends.

We have had a gazillion nights with many teens crashing here so I'm assuming the same rules apply in families we knowGrin.

MakeItStopNeville · 15/09/2017 20:32

We used to have a rule where they got a free pass for a late night pick up either Friday or Saturday night but not both so DH could always have a night to ourselves. That's kind of gone out the window now we have 4 teens. They are perfectly entitled to a social life and I want to know that they're safe at the end of it, not shitfaced on their mate's floor like their Mother was Sunday afternoon and evening is 100% family time so the glass of wine or two happens then now.

Original poster
MrsGotobed · 15/09/2017 21:18

Re: the Friday or Saturday night thing - she does a sports activity on Fridays until 8.30 so that rules out us chilling over dinner and into the evening with a glass of wine.

Admittedly it's not every weekend DD asks for a lift but I think it's just her attitude to us suggesting she get a taxi that made me wonder what everyone else does

OP posts:
Theimpossiblegirl · 15/09/2017 21:26

I have a reciprocal arrangement with a few other mums. If there is a party or event, the friendship group generally all stay at one house so the other parents can relax. So far it has worked really well.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 15/09/2017 21:27

Our choice to live rurally.

We do pick ups.

Firenight · 15/09/2017 21:31

Mine aren't teens yet but it was our decision to live in the middle of nowhere and we know lifts will be part of the deal. Of course on the flip side, the kids have to be pleasant or they can whistle for help going out.

I not mind not having a drink - will mind having to stay up stupidly late.

boonducks · 15/09/2017 21:37

Yes any time any day, unless it's a 3am job. DS2 is 19 and at uni but when home he occasionally wants to go clubbing in nearest town. I give him taxi fare which is £25.
That's the price for living out in the sticks with no public transport. They hate living here and I try to compensate.
Take note all those who think rural life is idyllic. That only applies until you have teens.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 15/09/2017 21:40

I used to pay for a taxi on a Friday or Saturday night. If the lift was 10 pm, I'd give the lift and have a drink when I got home, but if it was later, then it would be a taxi. Never Uber, either - don't like their reputation.

lifegavemelemons · 15/09/2017 21:42

I always did drop offs / pick ups for my DDs when they were teens. Wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway if I'd been worrying how they were going to get home. Taxis here were bonkers expensive.

NeonFlower · 15/09/2017 22:04

Takes me back to when my lovely friends dad used to pick us all up from London in the early hours in a minibus.

I think I will be ok if my teens become sociable, because I quite like a glass of wine at 5 or 6, but would be happy with one. Not keen on staying up late though.

Kbear · 15/09/2017 22:25

I live in SE London with public transport available but DD 18 leaves work at 11 pm and I would rather pick her up than her get a bus that late. Not drinking doesn't bother me tbh.

She does get cabs home from clubs etc but she's not on her own - someone usually stays here or she stays with them.

I have six of her mates staying tonight after a party! God help me lol

AgentProvocateur · 15/09/2017 22:39

If you've made the choice to live rurally, where there's no public transport, then I think you have to suck up being a taxi service for a good few years. I'm not selfless enough, so I moved to a town centre close to a major city for this very reason.

OwlBeBack · 15/09/2017 22:43

I'd always give them a lift.

UrsulaPandress · 15/09/2017 22:45

We DH used to do pick ups. Then she started staying over at bfs. Now she can drive.

Floralnomad · 15/09/2017 22:49

We are all t total here so this was never an issue for us and I was happy to be a taxi service

ITCouldBeWorse · 15/09/2017 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tequilamockinbird · 15/09/2017 23:01

If DD is out, I don't have a drink anyway.

I'd never forgive myself if (god forbid) something happened and I needed to get to her quickly. Taxis are notoriously hard to get around here on weekend evenings.

MrsApplepants · 15/09/2017 23:08

Always available for lifts, don't drink and will doze until needed. Don't ever want DD to think she needs to take any risks.