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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DS set to fail the lot

130 replies

themoon66 · 04/04/2007 12:24

The school have just rung me to say he hasn't handed in 4 out of his 5 pieces of coursework for English GCSE. English is his favourite subject, so god only knows what the other subjects are going to be like.

I spoke to his head of year who told me all the teachers are worried about him, and have been for a month or more now. They say they talk to him, but it's like there is nothing behind his eyes or any clues that he is even listening.

He is one of the cleverest in the school... predicted A stars all the way. I'm breaking my heart over what to do... sat here crying as I type

What can have happened to my clever, bright, sparky DS? It's like he has given up.

He has been off school all week with 'tummy ache' which he is doubled up with. Am waiting for the GP to ring me back with results of blood tests done on Monday. I am thinking now that its psycho-somatic and he is skivving school because he knows the shit is going to hit the fan this week, with course work being handed in etc.

He missed his Art GCSE exam yesterday and has done no coursework at all for that... so that one's a fail straight off.

What can I do? DH wants to kick him up the arse, but I think he must have depression or something.

Just wanted to type it all out on MN really to get my thoughts in order and try to raise some ideas of what to do next.

Sorry it's long.

OP posts:
DebitheScot · 27/04/2007 14:36

Is his physics coursework all done? If not, does he need help? I'm a physics teacher. Let me know if I can help.

RGPargy · 27/04/2007 14:53

Haven't read all the replies on here, but i agree with your DH, Moon. Kick him up the arse!!

Original poster
themoon66 · 27/04/2007 21:31

Thanx RGP

OP posts:
Original poster
themoon66 · 27/04/2007 21:33

Debs... that is VERY kind of you.... I will interogate him when he ameniable.

OP posts:
mumblechum · 04/05/2007 10:38

How's he been this week?

He does sound like he's on the up.

MrsWeasley · 04/05/2007 10:58

i have just read this thread and really hope you and your DS are ok and getting this sorted out.

I wasnt going to post but the post about hiding in the garden struck a cord with me. My Big Brother at the age of 14/15 used to hide in our shed until school home time then just walk in the door like nothing was wrong. It turned out he was being bullied at school!

just thought I should share my experience with you.

hope it all turns out ok in the end.

mumblechum · 04/05/2007 11:22

Like the name Mrs Weasley! Do you have that wand which you wave at the sink and the washing up does itself?

Original poster
themoon66 · 04/05/2007 12:08

Love the name Mrs Weasley

Things are looking up. He finished his final bit of ICT coursework last night and is printing off today at school. The deadline for everything is today. School emailed and assured me they would not him fall by the wayside.

On the other hand... i've only DS's word that that was the final bit of coursework, and he has lied to me before quite convincingly. Cynical? Moi?

OP posts:
Original poster
themoon66 · 04/05/2007 12:16

Actually... I am thinking that there must be some bullying going on, but on the bus rather than at school.

He has been fine whilst DH has been taking him in the car, but this week DH has been away. I said to him... 'you will have to get the bus, or, if you want me to take you, we will have to go half an hour earlier than the bus so I can get to work on time'.

He chose the half hour earlier option. And this is a boy who will stay in bed until the last minute.

OP posts:
Lilymaid · 04/05/2007 12:21

Would possible bullying cause you and DS to reconsider school/college for next year - i.e. get away from potential bullies?

Original poster
themoon66 · 04/05/2007 12:26

He has been offered a place at the grammar school, which is in a whole other town. He is keen to go there, having visited. He is desperate to get out of his current school.

He knows he has to get 6 Bs minimum to start there though.

OP posts:
DebitheScot · 04/05/2007 13:38

That's great that he seems to now be uptodate with everything. I'm sure the school will email or phone you today if there are any last minute panics.
If its the same as my school he's only got to put up with it for another 2 weeks then study leave starts.

Original poster
themoon66 · 04/05/2007 14:02

That's right Deb... I think his first exam is Citizenship on 18th May.

OP posts:
lojomojo · 14/05/2007 00:34

(new name) Been thinking of you; hope all is going well.

Original poster
themoon66 · 15/05/2007 20:35

Things seem to be back on track. I've accepted that he will fail certain subjects due to his major lack of interest, but he is throwing himself into serious revision for the other subjects.

He has perked up no end since I started taking him to school each morning in the car. He describes the school bus as 'torture', and I think this was the root of a lot of his problems.

OP posts:
grumpyfrumpy · 18/05/2007 07:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pixiefish · 18/05/2007 07:42

Glad you got it sorted in time themoon xx.

Good luck to your ds in his GCSE's

Original poster
themoon66 · 18/05/2007 09:05

Thank you all for the massive help and support over this thread.

OP posts:
MaryHinge · 18/05/2007 09:23

Hope it all goes OK over the next few weeks the moon. Ds2 has his first GCSE exam today.

Fingers crossed.

Original poster
themoon66 · 18/05/2007 10:42

MaryHinge.... is it citzenship this afternoon?

OP posts:
MaryHinge · 18/05/2007 16:49

It was this morning - PE theory. I asked how it went and got 'Fine'. So OK then. Maybe.

Lilymaid · 18/05/2007 16:51

My DS also had PE theory this morning. Last night I was doing all the "knee bone is connected to the thigh bone stuff". I expect he'll say "fine" too when I see him.

Original poster
themoon66 · 19/05/2007 13:53

I too asked how it went.... I got 'don't ask'.

'Does that mean bad?' says I.

'No, it means don't ask' says DS.

OP posts:
Eeek · 19/05/2007 14:08

just a thought - it might be worth taking him to visit a couple of likely universities when you have some free time. It might make the whole thing a bit more real for him - make him see what he's working towards. Talk to admissions and get him on an open day - we're all running them at the moment. Let him soak up some of the atmosphere, visit the libraries, see the labs or whatever. Don't know where you are but the London colleges have a nice feel, Cambridge or Oxford if you think they're within his reach, maybe one of the leafy campuses like Keele or Kent.

Lilymaid · 19/05/2007 17:37

It is a good idea to drop in on some universities (just to see where they are what they look like) before the open day season starts at the end of Y12. Even better if your DC has a brother/sister already at university who will put up their younger brother/sister for the weekend. Our DS2 was most impressed by DS1's lifestyle in his student house (particularly the Sky TV access and vast selection of pizza delivery in the area).