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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

would you allow your 15 year old to start wearing flesh tunnels?

31 replies

Gatekeeper · 04/07/2017 17:12

I really don't like the look of them one bit but dd is enamoured and has bought a few pairs in increasing sizes even though I had previously said 'no'. She has pierced her own nose (septum and nostril bit) and has done Indian ink tattoos which I went spare at. I don't know id I should just allow her to do it

OP posts:
curlylocks101 · 04/07/2017 17:16

I'd let her - I had small tunnels in my lobes for a few years and they're now hardly any bigger than normal piercings. Perhaps you could allow than in return for no more DIY piercings, if you're not keen on those?

Original poster
Gatekeeper · 04/07/2017 17:17

Should I accept that she doesn't want ti dress conventionally and let her get on with the eartinnel things ? Thanks

OP posts:
DancesWithOtters · 04/07/2017 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blackbutler86 · 04/07/2017 17:26

I would let her, my parents were extremely strict when it came to things like this in my teens and I just went and did it anyway. It caused numerous rows and problems because they always said no to everything. I'm 30 now and still have a flesh tunnel plus numerous piercings and tattoos. She may grow out of it when she gets older or she may not, if my parents had been more accepting of me I'm sure I would have a far better relationship with them now.

SheWhoLivesHere · 04/07/2017 17:31

My parents allowed me to have any piercings i wanted, and flesh tunnels. I did my experimenting and now as a 30 year old i have nothing except normal pierced ears (tunnels shrunk). I never got any tattoos.

In comparison i have friends who have lots of tattoos and piercings and a big draw for them was how 'forbidden' they were.

I'm not saying it's this was for everyone but that's my experience and i would let her experiment and not make a big deal out of it.

Maudlinmaud · 04/07/2017 17:36

Hmmmm I guess your have to don't you. I wouldn't be happy about it but I'd bite my tongue. Teenagers always know far more than their parents who where never young.

Original poster
Gatekeeper · 04/07/2017 17:38

Thank you everyone, you have given me something to think about

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 04/07/2017 20:58

She did her own Indian ink tattoos?! Shock for that level of stupidity I'd definitely say no to any other body mods ever!

How old is she?

user1486076969 · 04/07/2017 21:02

I'm so old I've just had to look up what a 'flesh tunnel' is Shock. No would be my immediate reaction, however I appreciate it's not so clear cut with teenagers Grin.

pinkyredrose · 04/07/2017 21:07

Oh I just saw she's 15. I'd be far more concerned about the tats. She sounds like an immature Muppet, sorry OP.

Fifthtimelucky · 04/07/2017 23:01

I had to look them up too! Personally I don't like them (along with most piercings and all tattoos) but know I am rather old-fashioned about this). I was surprised that there were so few rules on under 18s having piercings done. Will her school have any views I'm this? Will she take them out for sport ?

Crumbs1 · 04/07/2017 23:58

No we didn't allow any of ours to mutilate their bodies in any way until they were over 16 (single pair earrings) and it would have been 18'for any other self induced deformities - tattoos or piercings. Fortunately, they all entirely agree and only the girls have earring and only one set each.

Agoddessonamountaintop · 05/07/2017 00:04

She's bought 'a few pairs' of the stretcher things (don't know what they're called)? Sounds like that particular horse has well and truly bolted.

GrainOfSalt · 05/07/2017 00:15

I'd discourage it as it will exclude her from certain professions - can't even get into the army unless you have them fixed Shock - looking online it can pose real problems when trying to get just any job.

If she's going to go ahead anyway then I think (but don't rely on this please check yourself) that under 10mm the holes will close up naturally, over 10mm they won't.

BlueAnemone · 05/07/2017 00:18

I also had to check what flesh tunnels are. This led me to seeing images of a guy with holes in his cheeks that are big enough to show his teeth while popping his tongue out. I really hope there's a minimum age limit for that.

Alisvolatpropiis · 05/07/2017 00:23

I'd be fine with standard piercings but not tunnels.

WyfOfBathe · 05/07/2017 00:28

I wouldn't allow tunnels until 18, I think. That was my parents' rule, and by the time I was 18 I had mainly lost interest, despite being desperate for various piercings and tattoos when I was about 14.

HeadfirstForHalos · 05/07/2017 00:40

No way. Dd is 15 in September , I've agreed she can have an upper helix piercing at the start of the summer hols. I wouldn't allow a body modification like flesh tunnels though, it's more permanent, and I've seen a few young people with horrific ears after taking them out.
If dd had tattooed herself, I wouldn't allow any piercings for her stupidity!

HeadfirstForHalos · 05/07/2017 00:44

Also, is she allowed them at school? They're banned at my dcs school.

Hidingtonothing · 05/07/2017 00:47

I like most forms of body mod but I would say no at 15.

TheCraicDealer · 05/07/2017 01:03

I would go spare but deep down the PPs who advise to let her to crack on are right.

My main issue would be the DIY aspect of a lot of her "modding". Just takes one mishap or infection and she's scarred for life. The comprise for me would be allowing her to do it but only by a legit professsional after she'd shown me research into aftercare and the best person to go to locally.

TheCraicDealer · 05/07/2017 01:04

Meant to add- she's 15, so if she has to wait a few months until someone reputable will see her then that's part of making a mature and considered decision.

nooka · 05/07/2017 06:26

No, I think they are horrible. I'd discourage any teenager from making permanent, very visible modifications until they were old enough to really consider the possible consequences. I'm not sure what the OP can do about her dd's modifications though as she seems to be a fan of the DIY approach.

Sparklingbrook · 05/07/2017 06:31

I think they are horrible too. They turn my stomach. A lot of jobs won't allow them either so they have to take them out meaning they have a huge hole in their earlobe instead. Which isn't much better.

I am v pleased that so far my two teens feel the same as I do.

CauliflowerSqueeze · 05/07/2017 06:35

That photo is horrific. Doesn't the food fall out his cheek? Or does he keep his mouth shut and tip his head to the other side and poke food into the hole? If he coughs, does the catarrh not shoot out the hole? Godddd

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