Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Found Anti-Depressants in sons room

96 replies

user1497458020 · 14/06/2017 17:38

Hey!

I was cleaning my sons room hes not long back from moving back into our house from university, I found anti-depressant medications. He has not mentioned anything to me or my husband about any problems that he has been having. What should I do?

OP posts:

MrsJayy · 14/06/2017 19:15

My mum used to go through my room open mail and she found out i was pregnant and seeking advise from a young persons centre this wasover 25 years ago i still tell her nothing i cant abide nosiness wrapped up as tidying and concern

Squishedstrawberry4 · 14/06/2017 19:17

Do you spend any time together doing things or share hobbies?

ilovesooty · 14/06/2017 19:17

Good grief. Mind your own business.

corythatwas · 14/06/2017 19:20

Re the 11 yo:

Do you keep paracetamol or aspirin in the house yourself?

Because if so, they are far, far more dangerous and easier to overdose on than anti-depressants.

ssd · 14/06/2017 19:26

I'm reading you are annoyed at him, I'm not reading any sympathy at all.

Slimthistime · 14/06/2017 19:26

I'm so seeing why he didn't tell you

would you tell someone with a broken leg to get up and walk on it?

so why, if brain neurochemistry isn't working correctly, are we expected by people like you, to just ignore it?

I'm entitled to the same quality of life as someone without a mental health issue. I'm entitled to do my job and come home and enjoy my evening without crying, vomiting from anxiety, and pacing the floor all night because my brain won't let me sleep.

so maybe I would not have topped myself by now without meds but I'd sure as hell be living a miserable existence.

you have a lot to learn.

SparklyMagpie · 14/06/2017 19:28

I'd bloody hide them and not talk to you if this was your reaction

None of your business! He's sought help, he's 20 fgs!!

As for your 11 year old finding them, theres no reason he should be going in his brother's room going through his drawers.

Well done to your son

I find your comments quite disgusting making out anti depressants arn't something

PunkrockerGirl · 14/06/2017 19:52

You do absolutely nothing. He's an adult.

Squishedstrawberry4 · 14/06/2017 20:00

Yes be more accepting of him.

PunkrockerGirl · 14/06/2017 20:01

He's an adult. He's not sneaking in medication any more than you are if you're prescribed anything.
What he's been prescribed is between him and his GP. Absolutely bugger all to do with you.

Bobbins43 · 14/06/2017 20:22

You need to back right off with this. If he comes to you, fine. If you think he is depressed and starting to get withdrawn and might need help, fine. But otherwise leave it. He doesn't have to tell you anything.

becotide · 14/06/2017 20:30

Holy shit. You cannot treat an over eighteen like this and expect them to be mentally healthy. You can't go throuogh his things. YOu can't look in his drawers. You can't discuss his (completely unsurprising) mental health issues with him on the back of interfering with his belongings.

MapMyMum · 14/06/2017 20:31

Anti depressants actually make physical changes to the brain. Depression is not something you can make go away by spending time together as a family. If it were medication for blood pressure or another co dition would you feel the same?? You need to seriously change your opinion here else ypu will push him away.
And if you ask someone to do something and they dont do it, that does not give you the right to go in and do it yourself, his room is his own private space.

WellThisIsShit · 14/06/2017 21:00

Some really good posts here from posters that obviously have a wealth of insight.

However, I'm concerned the OP won't see this as she will react to the err 'no nonsence tone' of the thread. And I include my previous post in that!

I'm not sure if I'm right or not, but I'm having a change of heart just in case, not enough love in the world to help some poor souls today... so I'm having another go here.

I'm sure it's a shock to find the tablets and you need some time to come to terms with the idea that not only is your firstborn son grown up now, he is suffering from a mental illness, probably depression.

Firstly, please don't panic, it will be ok. It's not a slight on you or your parenting, it's a complex illness with many causes. Don't worry that it's education or going to university that did it either. These things happen, just as many illnesses happen beyond our control. The main thing is that it's not your fault, or his either. If you're coming from a place of defensiveness, it will be hard for you to respond in the way you'll want to address this - which I'm sure is to help your son and support him when he needs support most.

Good luck,

MapMyMum · 14/06/2017 22:33

Nicely put WellThisIsShit

choli · 15/06/2017 21:12

As for your 11 year old finding them, theres no reason he should be going in his brother's room going through his drawers.

Well, there was no reason for his mother to do it either, yet she did. Maybe it's a family hobby.

Aridane · 15/06/2017 21:21

Wow, just wow. Wish you were a troll.

BIWI · 15/06/2017 21:25

I suspect they are ...

Dawnedlightly · 15/06/2017 22:19

WellThisIsShit
A kind and thoughtful post.
Good luck OP

WatchingFromTheWings · 15/06/2017 22:33

You shouldn't be in his room in the first place. I've not cleaned or tidied my sons room since he was 12!

WellThisIsShit · 16/06/2017 11:51

Thank you map and dawned, sadly I think the OP has vanished.

Hope her and her DS are ok and are weathering this potential storm in a way that dissolves the thunder and lightening, rather than intensifying it.

Perhaps she vented on here then took a deep breath before she saw her son again. People do that all the time. Hoping this is one of those time

to all.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread