Feel like 14yrs old has destroyed our family

[Runrabbit1]

He is horrible... I love him more than anything and we've always had a wonderful relationship but the last year has been hell.

He's so selfish, if he doesn't get his own way he becomes aggressive physically. He is always verbally aggressive. The following is what he's called me in the last 30 mins...

You're so stupid
What are you a retard.
F c** (to person on tv)
To me: f* ass**
F* t**
Bitch
What is your problem you spac
Shut up
I don't care

He's given up all sport and just eats rubbish. He has a great sporting talent and he's wasting it all.

He does have adhd but I feel this is no excuse

We are a decent family and not sweaters or aggressive. I feel like an utter failure and so ashamed that this is my son.

Help

Agree totally with the above advice. Went through same violence and aggression with DD from 13/14. Now 18 and much calmer and understanding of the need for her to regulate her emotions. Also has adhd. It was the worse time I have ever been through and feel for you. Drugs were in the mix for us and we had no idea so be aware of that - even if you feel your son would not take drugs- we were very wrong about what was going on in our child’s life. But the above advice is good

Reading this thread has actually made me feel better because I'm currently here also with my son and it's a shit place. For me I have the added complication that my ex is drip feeding in to my son by text so I can see it happening, my ex isn't that bright to know this. I've had to go to the police to report my ex and now MASH/safeguarding are involved. Currently in a tricky place with removing things as he's dad will just buy him new stuff which I won't have the passwords too.