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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

13 Reasons why

20 replies

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 17/04/2017 05:26

Have you watched it this? Would you encourage your children too view it despite it being 18 rating?

Would you also relate it to the adult as well as teenage world that you always need a friend?

OP posts:

PhoenixJasmine · 17/04/2017 06:33

I have watched the whole season, and think it is very well done and thought provoking, and appreciate that it didn't shy away from graphic scenes of both rape and suicide.

I think viewing by under 18s, or any young person really, would be best done on a case-by-case basis, with frank and open discussion with a supportive adult. Disclaimer: not a parent, but am in a mentorship position to 15-18 year olds and would discuss these kind of issues with them.

I'm not sure I agree with the conclusion about always needing a friend, tbh. I feel the issues raised are more about inherent sexism, healthy/unhealthy relationships, managing mental/emotional health, listening to others etc. It's a good starting point for discussions rather than just taking at face value Hannah's reasoning for her actions.

JustDanceAddict · 17/04/2017 08:31

My DD (nearly 15) has started to watch and bought the book without my prior knowledge! I wasn't aware it was an 18 but she has discussed the plot with me. She's quite mature for her age but I will also check it out and try & discuss.?

Original poster

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 18/04/2017 01:42

I agree it's complex, and yes discussion is needed Just. It's complex Jasmine, maybe we will read what we need, but I agree with what you said. It's a strong story and sure to be emotive.

OP posts:

WhatHaveIFound · 18/04/2017 13:39

My DD (15yo) says that all her friends are watching it but we don't have Netflix and i hadn't realisied it was 18 rated.

She asked me to get the book from the library instead but we're currently 7th on the waiting list. Having read some reviews, i'm not sure about letting her read it as she's a bit fragile at the moment.

As for whether we all need a friend, well I feel we do and i think DD benefits from having a few very close friends.

multivac · 18/04/2017 13:40

I believe it's rated 15.

My 12-year-olds want to watch it; they do watch some 15 rated things, but the subject matter of this one makes it a definite 'no' for me.

Floofborksnootandboop · 18/04/2017 14:33

We're all watching it here, I dont think it does have an 18 rating. The target age range is 14-18 so that would be counterproductive surely?

I think it's something you have decide on based on your own children and alway be open to talk to about anything they need to.

TheSecondOfHerName · 18/04/2017 16:00

I watched it with my 17 year old son. Perhaps some 15 year olds might cope with the content but I found some episodes quite difficult to watch. I have 12 year old twins and I will not be giving them access to it (they have Netflix access but with parental controls).

The subject matter provides a lot of potential discussion material that would be useful to work on with adolescents, but the way certain scenes were shown makes it unsuitable viewing for younger teenagers (in my opinion).

I have not read the book; perhaps that is suitable for a wider range of ages?

ArabellaRockerfella · 19/04/2017 16:35

My dd's 16 + 19 have watched it and found it very difficult viewing. In fact my 19yr old is quite fragile emotionally and had to stop watching it, she found it too upsetting!
I would watch with caution with teens, maybe watch yourself first and then see if your child would be able to cope with the issues portrayed.

Isadora2007 · 19/04/2017 16:37

Link?

Original poster

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 20/04/2017 03:50

Netflix showed 18 rating in UK, it does contain scenes of sexual assault so is difficult to watch. It does show how teen bullying can escalate though and how one rumour can lead to more.

OP posts:

aginghippy · 20/04/2017 10:02

The TV show is aimed at an older age group than the book.

My dd read the book when she was about 12 and loved it. It is a young adult title meant for teenagers.

She is 18 now and has watched the whole series. She says there are many things about the series, such as the bad language, that the programme makers have added or changed to make it more 'appealing' to an older audience.

MrsFionaCharming · 22/04/2017 17:26

I read that when making the show, they consulted with suicide prevention charities, then completely ignored all advice given, and that many people are finding it contains suicidal idealization and is triggering those who already suffer from suicidal thoughts. I'd be very careful about allowing a young person to watch it.

Titsywoo · 22/04/2017 17:32

Hmm I just finished watching this. I am not massively sensitive but the last episode was very difficult to watch. I was sobbing and had to pause it for a while to calm down. It is quite graphic and upsetting. The rape scenes are also upsetting. I certainly would feel uncomfortable about a younger teen watching it but not sure about 16 plus.

MdmeShoutalot · 26/04/2017 18:54

Our school district sent out an email last night to raise awareness of this show. I'm watching it anyway (am on episode 3) and had told my kids they can't see it until I have. They were saying that it's not appropriate for an under 16, particularly emotionally vulnerable ones, as it glamorises suicide and none of the teens reach out for emotional support.

Turns out there have been 13 and 14 year olds crying in the guidance counsellor's office as they were so upset by it and their parents had no idea they were watching it alone in their bedrooms.

nixworld · 26/04/2017 19:03

Hmmm, I think watch and make up your mind, definitely. The rape scenes (the second in particular) and the suicide scene were very distressing to watch. I kept expecting them to cut away from Hannah in the bath but they didn't. That was tough.
That said, I think it is extraordinarily valuable in it's message. I enjoyed it, but it upset me.

Luckystar1 · 26/04/2017 20:38

As the series progresses I'm finding it more and more difficult to watch. I would really, strongly advise watching it before your children do and assessing yourself.

I had a friend who committed suicide at 21 and I have to say I'm finding it very difficult to watch. And I'm not very sensitive at all.

DearMrDilkington · 26/04/2017 20:49

m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/16125488

After reading this, I definitely wouldn't let a teenager under 16 watch this.

hmcAsWas · 26/04/2017 21:04

My just 13 year old ds and 15 year old dd have watched it (as have I). I don't feel that it 'galmorises suicide' - that's nonsense, what comes across is the tragic waste of a young life and the devastating effect it had on those who loved her. My dc were not traumatised by it or confused.... but we have always discussed difficult and challenging subjects and whilst we didn't specifically and consciously unpick this, had they found it troubling or confusing they would happily have talked about it, since that's just what we tend to do

tireddotcom72 · 26/04/2017 21:19

My 13 year old watches it and knows she can discuss any of it with me if she needs to. I would rather she was watching it at home than on the bus with her friends in secret.

Yes it has hard hitting stuff - drugs, sex, rape and suicide but most teens are well aware of all of these things.

There was a big discussion about this on Facebook amongst other mums recently with one mum of a nearly 14 year old insisting her daughter didn't know about sex and drugs, I think a lot of teens probably know more than us and with education in schools these days know how to deal with these issues. My daughter had a very mature conversation with me about some episodes.

GoldSpot · 03/05/2017 15:30

I have watched it and definitely don't think it's suitable for my 13 year old Dd. The rape and suicide scenes are very distressing. In my opinion, it's suitable for 15/16 year olds. In general, I have quite relaxed attitudes on what my Dd watches, but I don't think she is ready for this.

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